Stigma of a small town addict

[jazzlvr66]

Ok, I think this is my 1st post.  I have been narcotic free (!!!) for at least two months now.  My history with percocet & other Rx pain med is extensive: I have been on & off of them for YEARS for everything from leukemia bone pain & violent reactions to platelet transfusion (over 15 yrs ago--IVdemerol), and most recently -- cervicogenic headaches/migraines.  This on/off again problem has included opiates/opioids (percocet/lortab/fioricet).  Even though I haven't taken anything in 2-3months, I am dealing with all the acute post withdrawal garbage that just doesn't seem to be getting better (depression, mild to moderate craving, apathy, lethargy, moodiness, loss of interest in things, flat affect, etc).  I think I may have permanently changed my brain chemistry.  :0(  However, this is my MAIN problem....I live in a small town/community.  Everybody knows everybody and everyone WANTS to know everybody's business (ugh I hate it because I actually grew up in a large metropolitan area -- NYC).  I am really starting to think that I desperately need to get into some kind of rehab program or definitely start seeing a drug counselor to help me stay clean and stay strong, but I am so worried that the gossip mongers in this little superficial, squeaky clean community may find out about my addiction.  I dread this because I have young children in the school district and certainly wouldn't want word to get around to their playmates' parents, etc.  Often, even if I see a doctor for something as small as a hangnail in a neighboring town, I will run into someone I know!  This is preventing me from getting the drug counseling that I really feel that I desperately need!  I haven't been able to get support from friends & family -- My husband/family are not supportive at all, whatsoever, they just want to brush the problem under the rug -- and so I feel very much alone here.  Since I've only lived in this tiny community for 2 yrs, I still just don't trust anyone yet to confide about this very personal problem.  Similar experiences or suggestions?  :0)

[worried878]

big town or small town..all addicts/or most./feel isolated...reaching out for a support group is just such a good thing...do not be afraid to get the help u need

time heals..if u look thru the health pages u will learn alot bout supps and stuff to help u out right now,..exercise ruules and pumps the endorphin supply and gets it rollin...read and learn..post here and u will learn alot...good luck to u and hang tight

[Ella789]

Except for a few variations this could have been MY post.  I thought about going to the next larger town but hesitant because of running into others who know me or know my town.  These forums are pretty much all I have and so I am here alot.  Also 3 mos clean of lortabs.  So........  I truly know your situation and can relate.

Ella