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Avatar universal

Stress Management ?

Are there any methods or tools that you can suggest for me to use, that would help me to deal with stress that are not medication related ?

I have some very bad and real stressful things going on in my life right now and I don't know how to handle them.

My younger brother was arrested this weekend and is currently in jail.  I went to his house to feed his pets.  My husband and I  found a rope with a noose at the end of it in his livingroom. He recently lost his job and recently caught his girlfriend with another man.  He was obviously planning to hang himself.  I am angry because had he hung himself, I would have been the one to find him dead.  He is in jail for assaulting ther man that was with his girlfriend.  I have been busy on the phone with a criminal defense attorney and trying to get him out on bond.  I am stressed out big time and I need help dealing with this and with my own health issues.  It is times liike these that Vicodin would take the edge off for me but I do not want to go that route again if I can help it.
Thank you in advance.
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Avatar universal
    Whew...another day gone !  Congratulations to all of you that are here for another day too.
I'm sorry about your hubby's job, that really sux.  I'm glad to hear that they called him back, I know that has to be a Big relief.  Having children, I bet that you were stressed out about the job situation.  Let's hope that the economy in Michigan improves fast.
.  My hubby was at the Ford Brownstown plant 4 years ago, then moved to the GM plant in Pontiac last year.  His company lost the contracts with Ford and GM.  My bro was working for Penske in Westland at the Ford Wayne Assem. plant and at US Truck.
This happened in Taylor. They did release him today.  He has to appear for a pre trial hearing in two weeks.  The charges are bad.  He is being charged with felonious assault and use of a weapon in the commission of an assault.  There are two charges.. We are meeting with the attorney in the morning.

Beachtowel - You're right about them not giving a S--t about you when you're in jail.  They lost my brother's car/house keys and did not give him his medication while he was there....they treated him like s---.  I asked him why he beat the guy up ?  He said that the guy jumped on him first and he sprayed him with mace and then beat the s out of hm.  The weapons charge is for the mace.

I hope to sleep good tonight, I'm beat it's been a long day.
Good night everybody, rest well and Hang tight.
Helpful - 0
273135 tn?1195006870
hey there!  Well congrates on another day!!! Good for you!!! Wow, you have alot on your plate right now and you seem to be handling it very well.

Did they say when they are planning on arraigning him?  Wheres he at?  I hear ya about michigan .. my husband works for Ford.  He was out at the wixom plant and was laid off from there back in july.  Finally called him out to Flat Rock a month ago...it was pretty scary.  he got unemployment and all but that's just not enough for a family of 5 ... Has your husband been called back or anything lined up  yet?  i think pretty much everyone i know is on egg shells worrying about whether they're going to have a job tomorrow or not ..

i hope they get your brother out today....is he going to stay w/you or go back home?  if you need anything at all .. pls don't hesitate to ask .. k? .. you take care of yourself today ... let us know what happens later w/your bro .. ;-)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Dang...they still have not arraigned him.  My brother is 35 yrs old.  He doesn't do drugs, smoke, or drink.  He has a  problem with depression and anger issues (obviously).   I am not in charge of him but I look out for him.  He's a big boy, an adult.  Our mom died when I was 8 yrs old.  My bro was a tiny baby and my sister was 2.  That left my dad, who was a young man himself with three small children and one of us with health problems (diabetes). My dad is also an alcoholic. He farmed my bro and sister off to relatives to live and hopefully to be raised properly.  The relatives, must have done a number on those kids because my bro is in the shape that hes in now and my sister is severely mentally ill and is a homeless prostitute.  I've tried to help her in the past.  Yes my bro needs to see a doctor for help with this depression and suicidal thoughts.  I did tell his attorney about the rope.  He said that he would tell the police at the jail to keep an extra watch on him.  Yikes.

All of us are dealt hands in life.  It's just how we choose to deal with those hands that make the difference.  I always say "One day at a time"

My bro has two college degrees.  He can't find a job that will pay the bills.  Michigan is in a bad crisis, employment wise, and its getting worse.  My hubby has been laid off since March after working 20 years as a Teamster.  Its not good.
Thank you for listening, it helps a Lot.  I am still clean and I plan to stay clean.  I need my mind to be as clear as possible right now.
Be Well
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hillary5  
awww youre a sweetheart :)  thank you !
I knew what you meant, don't worry.

I just read the posts.  Thank you everybody for your thoughts, prayers, and advice..

Ill post more later, I have to call the attorney again right now to see if I can get some answers about his arraignment and getting him out on bond today.  He's been in jail for 3 days, or almost 72 hours so far.

Hang in there wantlifeback, I hope that your first day back goes well....Hang in there !!
Helpful - 0
273135 tn?1195006870
omg! i wz just re-reading the posts here and i noticed i put 'go to your bedroom and grab a pill - I MEANT PILLOW!!!!!!! i feel sooooo stupid .. people are probably thinking - hill what are you thinking ... i'm sorry!!!!! my bad!!!  you seem to be a very strong person and anything at all, pls let me know .. hillary
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey I am very sorry that is a really sad situation but I would be worried about the rope with his name on it.......maybe jail is the safest spot for him I might even be inclined to tell the medical staff to watch him hes suidcidal.........so that they watch him and he is safe.......

To bad they don't give a s h i t about you when your in jail,  I wish a counselor to come and talk to him a few days a week..........if not for anything else just so he could vent and get stuff off his chest so it wouldn't eat him up alive........

I also know that this is very tough for a younger guy but If I ever caught my girlfriend/wife with another man at least you would know what kind of person she was so that you could walk away......

But that is very hard for a young man to do......its hard for an older guy but at least he would know where he stood........and deal with it.......

May I ask why he beat the hell out of the guy it wasn't his fault.........I realize he can't hit her I guess he had to get out his frustration somewhere........

Are you seeing a counselor of any kind please consider it instead of using Vics to deal with pain.....

sorry about your brother..........

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Well here we are day 13 together and i read what you are going through...i feel so bad for you and your family.  I do not have any suggestions sorry as i am struggling with stress of going back to work tomorrow and i feel worse today and not sure how i am going to do it.  That is a walk in the park compared to what you are facing.  I am so sorry to hear all the stress you are dealing with  We need to stick together and get through this....I know when i am at work it is where my stress is and i am so freaked out about it.  We have to stay strong and we will get through this.  I really hope things get better for you and your brother, just be there for him and i know it will help him alot.  I know i have a sister that is really supportive of me and it means the world to me...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
If you are in charge of your brother, and it sounds like you may be, you need to see if you can get him released into a hospital or equal, for some care because whos know what he was thinking to have a rope at his place tied like that. It's clear he wanted to hurt this guy or worse so he needs to be confronted. The judge might have a heart and release him in your custody if your willing to help your bro. Your brother does not need to be back on the streets without some kind of treatment and also find out if any of his actions are drug related.  If your brother is struggling with drugs, with all the other **** going on, he needs to be in a safe place and get his thoughts together and other help. That may help your stress level by knowing whats going on with your brother and keep an eye on your own blood pressure.  
Helpful - 0
273135 tn?1195006870
oh man, i'm soo sorry to hear about this ... when it rains it pours, so to speak .. i know this is goin to sound stupid, but i'll tell ya, it helps me .... go in your bedroom - grab a pill and SCREAM as loud as you can and for as long as you can ... you'll feel much better ... i do it all the time and w/in 5 min, stress has been lifted .. sounds crazy, or your thinking i'm crazy ... but do not think about the vicodin, pls ... have you been able to talk to your brother at all about what you found yet or no?  i wish i could do something or say something that would relieve some of the stress you are going thru ... if you need anything at all, let me know .. take CARE of yourself ... ;-]
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
regular excersise is amazing for stress if you can force yourselft to do it?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm sorry to sound like a cry baby but I feel like I'm losing my mind at this point.
Helpful - 0

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