Struggled for years..ready to give up

[Justagirl75]

It's been 8 years of this. I've tried multiple times to get clean. Just can't seem to stay clean. I'm on 10 msg of sub but I use on top. I know I need to stop because it's going to kill me. I use about 16 mg of dilaudid on top of the sub and I know already I'm a screwup, no one needs to tell me that.

I just wish I could die and put an end to this misery. There's so much more to tell but in a nutshell I know I need to change but can't seem to get my head together. If it wasn't for my children who I love with all my heart Id just end it.

[no1beeze916]

If you can make it through the night there's a brighter day hang in there your not alone

[liliansdream]

No matter where you are right now, believe you do not have to stay here.. There is hope.... and you do have much to live for.. Try to flick that switch that says you can't do, there is no way out... to there is a solution..it may not be overnight, but one day you can be free.  There are many people who were addicted for way longer than 8 years, 20 or 30 years and are now free.. You can be too..

I'm new here but I am  committed to give support where needed, so please share your story and keep coming back.

liliansdream  (((())))

[ChillyDanger]

I understand how you feel. I am I a similar situation.   Please hang in there. I have kids too and I keep going for them. Don't ever end it. Mate we will both be on here in an little while sharing our successes. You are not alone l. I have no good advice but will listen.

[pillguy]

To anyone who thought I was referring to them with the term "old timers".  I didn't mean you!

[pillguy]

Many of us have been in that place.  It starts with the drugs lifting our spirits.  But then they burden our souls.  I read many posts here from the old timers.  They too found themselves in dark places but eventually found a path out and they still sound like evangelists sometimes decades later.  They love the freedom so much.  You can have this too.  Tell us more about yourself, the drug stuff AND the not drug stuff.  We look forward to hearing from you.  

[spider6]

Hi friend....it always tears me up to see a desperate post like this. I'm so so sorry for your pain.  Please don't let it own you to your end.  There is a light, I swear.  Although I don't know much about your doc, please continue to tell your story if you're able...someone else will come along and give to some solid 411 to help give you back some hope.  

I see you have children...there are some good reasons right there not to give up. Pm if you like,  ever.  I am always around and always eager to lend support.

Keep posting .....((((8)))) spider hugs ...(Janice)

[winthewar]

Hi and glad you reached out.  Never like to see anyone on this frame of mind so vent as much as you need.