Suboxone Detox Fear

[HairofOne]

Hello,

My story of my love affair with opiates is long and drawn out. The summary is that I started by smoking Opium when I was 18. It didn't turn into a huge dependency. Several years later I was introduced to pills (vics, percs..etc). The pill thing became even more problematic when I broke a finger as was given a script for Percocet. My appetite and tolerance grew and over the past year I have become addicted to Heroin.

I want so badly to be free of all of this. All of the emotional, physical, and financial burden. I am not unemployed. I have NO money. I tried to go cold turkey several times but relapsed within a week. When I ran out of money, I found a source from whom I could get subs from. It was a very limited supply that I was able to get..which is kind of good, because I just want this done and over with. I also currently have no hook ups for any other opiates..so I think the universe is forcing me into detoxing for a final time.

I have read such horror stories about detoxing from subs, and I am TERRIFIED that it's going to feel worse than Heroin withdrawal and last incredibly longer. My questions (and kind of glimmer of hope) is that I have only been taking them for less than two weeks, will my detox be less intense and shorter in duration than what I've heard? I did not start on a super high dose, and have taken less and less when I felt I could handle it. Right now it has been a little less than 30 hours from my last dose (the last one I had), and I am starting to feel it; watery eyes, icky, anxious, achy, sweaty. Do I have any chance of getting out if this within a week?

[Pricogirl83]

You still doing good girl? I was reading your posts and see your from ohio.... let me know.

[HairofOne]

Thank you. I would respond more right now, but...yeah.. you get it. I will keep everyone updated. Thank you again. Off to the couch and Alice in Chains.

[HairofOne]

You bring up a good point with the Valerian Root and herbal stuff. I actually asked my ex partner (I think I mentioned her in an above post. Scrolling up to see seems like a task comparable to building a pyramid right now). She has like an herbal pharmacy in her house. Tons of OTC herbal stuff. Including the stuff you listed. I asked her about it the other day, but never actually got them. I think I got a little over confident in how well I was going to feel. I called her now though and she will bring them to me when she gets home from visiting her parents. I just have to tough it out until then. Thank you so much.

[snakejones]

Hi, brave girl! I think you are really going to do this. Your messages have a real good vibe to them even though you don't feel real good right now. I suspect that the reason it's so hard today is that suboxone has a very long half-life----I think it's something like 30 hours. So, even though you are into day 3, you still have a small amount of sub in your system. This means that you may have a few more rough days as your body still hasn't totally run out of sub. I don't think it'll get any worse, but you can at least know the chemistry of sub and what you should expect. Each person has a unique body response to quitting drugs; no one, even a doctor, can predict exactly how you will feel each day. So just ride the waves like a surfer, and know that you'll get to the beach soon! For the body aches, if you can take it, Aleve (or the generic name, naproxen) is better than Tylenol, because it is both a pain reliever and an anti-inflammatory. Really good at bedtime to help with those jimmy-legs a little! And Benadryl for sleep is all right, too. Sounds like you are doing everything right! Please hang out at the site and post often so we all will know what's going on with you. Hang in there, and I hope for brighter days ahead for you!

[abritt121222]

HAHA sorry bout that i was on two different websites talking to you and someone else about pretty much the same thing n said bro to him no just said it again haha but did u try any of the herbs i mentioned because the valerian root helped me alot with the anxiety and irratablitly and its cheap to they sell it at walmart i would take it throughout the day and then at night i would take like double the dose i take during the day time and 10-15 mg of meletonin which is also an herb that is cheap at walmart to and it would help me sleep i mean not sleep like you want to but i would def get at least 2-3 more hours of sleep then i would without taking them but that just a suggestion and you are right you are getting to the end of the physical part it shouldnt be to much longer and you will start feeling better by the day

Good Luck and GODSPEED
ABritt

[HairofOne]

Wow..Today has probably been the hardest day. I was sure I'd wake up absolutely fine and be done with it this morning. I didn't sleep much last night. Kind of drifted in and our for moments at a time. Stomach is cramping, legs aren't terrible..just all achy all over my body really. I haven't been able to eat much today. I am drinking water though. Immodium DOES help, but still, this has been the hardest day so far. Aside from the physical stuff, mostly I have been extremely irritable and anxious. I want to rip eyeballs out of people for no good reason.

I'm keeping my eye on the prize though. I do know that this is very close to being over...and even right now, with this being the worst day, it is still nothing in comparison to my H detoxing in the past. I keep thinking that over and over.

I'm going to go soak in the bathtub and relax for a while. Maybe watch some old movies or listen to Alice in Chains. I find music comforts me a lot. Especially the old, familiar favorites from my youth.

[HairofOne]

lol, Bro... I'm female. I don't mind being called bro though.

I was able to eat pancakes and keep them down with ease. So that's excellent. I am feeling VERY optimistic right now. There is still pain, but it is not bad at all. I'm about to move around the house and such. I'm about to have a bath. I'm pretty sure that will lessen it even more.

I am a little irritable. I got a little snappy with a friend of mine. He was being pushy about coming over, and I simply and not in the mood for company in this moment. I told him maybe later, but he was being insistent on coming over like right now. Normally, I have more patience and rarely snap at people. Especially as harshly as I snapped at him. I'll apologize. It'll be okay, I'm sure.

My mind is also kind of on a little vacation. I'm rather thoughtless. Like...you know that typical dream you hear about? Where people dream they leave the house and then realize they aren't wearing clothes? I am trying to do some laundry. The laundry room for my building is right across the hall from my apartment. Yeah..I opened the door and almost walked out before I realized I should probably wear pants. Luckily no one was in the hall passing by. I'll probably laugh about that soon.

I think the benadryl I took is starting to wear off a little..because the watery eyes and nasal stuff had stopped, but seems to be creeping back in. I can probably just take a very small dose of Benadryl and keep that at bay.

That's it for now.

[abritt121222]

Sounds like you have a good plan in place and that is exactly right to because wanting it and being ready for it are def two completely different thiings because wanting it is alot easier than really being ready unfortunatly but i would also reccommend trying a few herbs they always seemed to help me
get some valerian root help out with anxiety alot and also helps you relax so you can sleep better when used with meletonin which is another herb that is a must have in my opinon and my last one would be st john wart because it can help keep ya in a good mood i always just kinda had to take a couple at a time until the valerian root helps which is usually a few of them at a time but i will not hurt you at all you just get more relaxed and tired and i would say about 30-45 minutes before bed take 10mg of meletonin along with whatever you feel works for you with the valerian and it should help you get a little sleep and the st johns wart just try it whenever you feel down in the dumps and i would also go for some good vitamins and drink alot of gatoraid or poweraid because the electolytes can help speed up the detox also while keeping you hydrated
but sounds like you got a good plan to me and NA is def must so ya got that going for ya to well feel free to msg me whenever for whatever Bro

GOOD LUCK AND GODSPEED
ABritt

[HairofOne]

Thank you. This captain is making it happen. I have been yearning for sobriety for quite some time. I have learned (at least with me) that wanting it and being ready for it are two different things. At this point, I can say that I am ready.

I am researching NA meetings in my area today and WILL be getting into one ASAP. I do believe in its value and importance. I do not have a close family AT ALL. I live alone except for 2.5 cats (the ".5" is because the one is just a house guest for a few weeks). I have some very close friends who don't use, and they are supportive and helpful, but there is only so much of it all that they can wrap their minds around. I have one friend/ex partner who is a recovered addict. She kicked heroin/methadone about four or five years ago. She has been a wealth of knowledge and a key player in my recovery process. She can be a little "tough love-y" but sometimes it actually helps. So, NA will be good for me. I will be able to be around people who truly get it.

This is day 2 of the Sub detox. It really isn't bad at all. The pain has died down a bit. In this moment, I am not anxious. The sweats and flashes are also not present right now. I am actually feeling hunger...which surprises me. I'll take full advantage. I want pancakes.

Last night got a little rough. I started to "kick" <-- RLS and just couldn't get comfy. Why whole body just hurt. I had some really strong anxiety/depression. I did take a short hot bath and took a large (but safe) dose of benadryl. It was enough to allow me to get some sleep. Today is much better so far. I'm focusing on the moment. I do not know what will happen hour to hour or minute to minute, but right now, I am okay (not spectacular)..and that's good. I think I'll be fine. As I've previously said, and I still see it. This isn't as bad as H detox was for me. NOT AT ALL.

In addition to the NA plan. I have emptied my phone of all contacts that could even potentially enable me to relapse. My main hook up moved recently..which is a huge blessing. I deleted his number too. Luckily, I suck at remembering phone numbers. Thank god for a bad memory, lol. I may actually have my number changed all together. That way they can't contact me either.

So that's my update for the day. To be continued, I'm sure.

[abritt121222]

Oh yea and i would def say to tho the BIGGEST thing in my opinion is to make sure you are ready to come off suboxone and by that i mean do you trust yourself enough to come off of it because i know the first couple of times i weened down and got down to a very low dose i would catch myself thinking i wonder how i would feel just taking a couple of my old friends just to see how i would feel and i would think about that for a while and eventually i would catch myself and say no and i would go back to my normal routene and go back to taking 8mg a day so the craving wouldnt be there because I and this may just be me but i would rather take 8mg of subonxone for however long even if it is 10 years than come of off it before i was mentally ready to just to relapse and start the cycle all over again and like i said that may just be my opinion but i would just see how that goes because if you get to a low dose and you start thinking about what it would be like well thats the same for alll of us because and addict is an addict and thinking like that does nothing but get us into trouble because if we think like that to much eventually we will act on it and thats something we will all have to deal with for the rest of our lives but the cravings will go away eventually it just takes some time but  i just waited until i felt like i was ready and for me that was when i could stop the cravings by myself pretty quick and not sit there for hours with it running thru my head and that part took a little longer than i honestly thought it would but i can say those few times i got to a low dose and realized i wasnt ready for this i learned alot about myself and ways to deal with my addiction it is just a SLOW Tedious process that has to be handled very gently to get to absolutly sober because that line between falling off and relapsing and clean is smaller than a razor edge unfortunatly for all of us addicts but you just have to be strong hang in there and make it happen captain haha
but good luck to you and i hope you are ready and can do it and be completely clean as soon as possible but just please dont rush yourself because there is so much to lose trying to move to fast

Good Luck and GodSpeed
ABritt

[abritt121222]

the trick to weening off of suboxone to make it as easy as possible is to ween down to almost nothin
i got down to 8mg did that 4 days then went to 4mg did that for 4 days and so on so on until i got down to .5 mg now once i got down to .5mg i took it for 4 days and then stayed at .5mg and took it monday and didnt take it tuesday so one day on one day off so i took .5mg like that 4 times in a total of 8 days and there is were some ppl jump off and some dont i did not because going down to just a tiny crumb is only going to make the withdrawal less severe so i did the some thing one day one one day off for 8 days at .25 mg and then came off and withdrawal was not bad at all i can promise you it is NOTHING compared to oxy withdawal and i had also been taking suboxone for about a year and a half when i came off and i was the same way i was terrified because of all the stories and as for that the story you tell once you get off is up to you it just depends on if you do it right or if you do it wrong but if you try it like i did you will be amazed at how much easier it is than what you though it was going to be i know i sure was it was also so crazy to me how strong subs are because i couldnt believe that such a tiny crumb would do anything but it will. Well feel free to msg me if ya got any questions and ill try to help you much as i possibly can

Good Luck and GodSpeed
ABritt

[HairofOne]

My shoulders are starting to hurt too. I'm just going to use this thread to continually whine until this is over, lol.

[HairofOne]

Thank you so much. I have been nonstop reading posts. It has been crazy helpful. It is also a distraction..and god knows, distractions are nice during WD from anything.

At this point, my lower spine and legs hurt A LOT...but again, I've experienced worse. I have started having bursts of anxiety, but it passes for a while. I'm all sweaty...then freezing. BUT so far, this is nothing to my Heroin detox experience. TIme will tell, but I am getting a little hopeful.

I also JUST noticed that I am a little more emotional than normal. I was responding to a private message and I couldn't stop crying. It wasn't even sad tears...just a combination of emotion. Like, relief and gratitude for her message and words..and it was a rather good cry.

I've noticed that the symptoms do come in waves, but I'll tell you, I kind of like that. It makes it easier in my head. My experience with trying to detox from Heroin was much different (all of the times I've tried). Then it was CONSTANT agony. I feel like the "waves" allows for a break. I am grateful for that.

Thank you again.

[HenryS354]

Hi there,

It certainly wont be the most fun thing you will ever go through, but you will be just fine!

I detoxed last year off suboxone at 3mgs after being on it for 2 years, and by day 10 I was back to work with some minor restless legs, and irratic sleeping patterns.

We have another member that we are currently helping off of sub, and he is approaching 96 hours, and doing just great!

Some things that I have told him, is... This is mostly mental with a little bit of physical thrown in. The mind has more power than most of us believe... Positivie thinking goes a long long way, commbined with strong support and positive reinforcement!

Dont anticipate withdrawals... and when they do come, embrace them! Its your rite of passage, and you never have to feel this way again if you dont want to!

Long hot baths with epsom salts will help with a calming effect, and sooth the achy muscles.  A good protein shake will help with energy, and overall wellness!

Try to read the positive posts on sub detox, and stay away from the negative ones, they will only make your mind wander!  A good one to read is, the post by "Subbin"  "Feeling crappy after a nap"  it should be on the first page here.

Keep posting as often as possible, and get yourself to an NA/AA meeting! :-)

Henry