Hi and thanks for the reply to my question but I do know I can't just take the subutex as fast as poss as subutex is a substitute for heroin so therefore it would put me straight in to withdrawals as I have relapsed on heroin and I'm finding it really really difficult to get back on track with my subutex tablets :-(
Hi Bonny great to hear from you. Yes you are going through alot and at the same time there is a way for you to get back in your feet. You have groups, you have someone you can talk to 1 on 1....
Some people don't have this...Bonny you do. If you want to get out of this mess you need to change what you are doing. If starting back in the sub is going to help you in the interim, then start back in it. Then the question is for you- How are you going to stop using heroin?
Firstly by cutting all contact with dealers etc. Being honest with your worker and telling them the truth, that you were using and how much and staying truthful and accountable. Going to the groups.
You cannot do this in your own, that does not mean you are weak, this means this is big stuff and if you really want to change and be happy you need to take the help on offer with both hands. This is the only way. And if you want out of where you are you will do this.
I believe you can, it's up to you to decide which path you want to take.
Hi Bonny, how are you going?
Hi BonnyT, it's great you wrote back and really shared some of what's happening. You're not in a very good space right now, the positive though is that you're trying, you've come here and that takes a lot and you've come back. Bonny anyone who rolls there eyes at you and does the here we go again thing, they aren't for you to go to go to, sometimes we just want so much for someone to understand and no matter which way we say it, we still have the same outcome and it hurts I know.
Bonny if you're ready to reach out for help find a support group such as NA/AA. Have you been to a meeting before? If so and it wasn't the group for you. Then don't give up, try another one. Or find a therapist. Anything Bonny that will give you the support you need AND deserve.
We will always be here for you. Be as open as you feel able. You're safe here always.
Hi & Welcome
Do not beat yourself down because you had a relasp. It happens to many and this is why Aftercare is SO important.
ASAM defines addiction as "a primary, chronic disease of brain rewards, motivation, memory, and related circuitry, with a "dysfunction in these circuits" being reflected in "an individual pathological pursuing reward and/or relief by substance use and other social-spiritual illness would be "addiction involving opioid/drug use".
In this book I have called "The national practice guidelines for the use of medications in treatment of addiction involving opioid use", it says that you should wait12 to 18 hours after the last does of a short acting agonist such as heroin or oxy, and 24 to 48 hours after a long-acting agonist such as methadone.
The BIG thing about Addiction is getting Support. Some of us can stuff things in our pockets never to let them out...we must talk things out and learn to live in our own skin clean & sober. It is a day to day job, but it will get easier with lots of time in. I came clean at the age 56 and now I am 60. During my first 18 months I had lost my whole family and more in a 90day period. Then a few months after that I had found out I had a silent heart attack and had to have 2 stents. During this time I had to reach out in so many different direction for support. I stayed close to this site and got tons of help in my journals. Hit many AA/NA and also hit some grieving groups. LIFE will always has it's UPS & DOWNS and how we deal with them by staying clear headed off Booze & Drugs, will make a big difference in our lives. It has been over 4 and a half yrs and what REALLY helped was going back to Church and Bible study. It takes baby steps along the way to finally get to the point were you understand more on the "whys" we wanted to get high". Taking a good inventory on yourself and knowing you defaults take time too.Different types of substances can hit different areas of the brain, changing our chemical makeup in our brain, but the one area is the Mid-brain, Pleasure, Reward center, that is highly affected in any addiction no matter what it is. We groove habits in our brain and have to WORK on changing these habits for better ones. ALL of this takes TIME & PATIENCE!!! We can NOT do this alone.
When I first came clean I went on a heavy journey to learn all I can about Addiction and the Brain. During the whole time I went to any meeting I can find, stayed close to this site and the friends I had met, and now I am involved with the Church and other Mindful healthy life style changes. YOU can do it too!!!! Do NOT be ashamed that you had that fall back, get right back in the saddle and this time take a new path along the way..talk to people that understand and those ppl you will find at recovery meetings, and there are all kinds. I wish you all the best and will Pray that you will have many new blessing come rolling in..ALSO.....I would stay as low you you can on those Subs and get off as soon as you can. These meds come with there own downfalls and w/ds if on them to long and at a high dose. Just a tip!
Bless U
Vickie
Hi thanks for ur response well yes I have relapsed onto heroin before but I've always taken my normal dose after and iv still felt rubbish so I wondered if I should be starting on a lower dose of sub rather than the full dose. And I do have a weekly script and have to see a nurse every couple months but apart from that I don't have any support I'm letting every body down coz of my relapse and I'm been having a go at daily coz of how my life is and just been told to "sort my self out" which in turn just makes me want to go out and score it's either that or burst in to tears when ppl have a go at me. I can't talk to anybody coz they have heard it all before so really I'm dealing with this relapse on my own. Which is why I came to this site hoping I could have some help or advice, It's just so hard I know i will be fine after a couple days taking tablets I'm just struggling to start taking them :-(
Hi thanks for ur response well yes I have relapsed onto heroin before but I've always taken my normal dose after and iv still felt rubbish so I wondered if I should be starting on a lower dose of sub rather than the full dose. And I do have a weekly script and have to see a nurse every couple months but apart from that I don't have any support I'm letting every body down coz of my relapse and I'm been having a go at daily coz of how my life is and just been told to "sort my self out" which in turn just makes me want to go out and score it's either that or burst in to tears when ppl have a go at me. I can't talk to anybody coz they have heard it all before so really I'm dealing with this relapse on my own. Which is why I came to this site hoping I could have some help or advice, It's just so hard I know i will be fine after a couple days taking tablets I'm just struggling to start taking them :-(
Do not wait. Get the subbacl into your sys as fast as you can. Also what are u relapsing with???