Suggestions for a parent of an adict

[Mom_of_an_addict]

Hi - I hope some one can help me. My son who is 23 is addicted to weed and he says that on occasion does xanax.. At the beginning of this year my husband and I had him put into rehab because we thought he had gone crazy. He was hearing voices, extremely paranoid, having hallucinations and to some degree a bit aggressive. So he received treatment but never admitted that he had a problem. He went to counseling but was very angry with me.  He was clean of any drug use for a little bit but decided that he did not have a problem and could control the smoking of weed.

Last week he flipped out – not as bad as a year ago but I knew it had to be the same drug as last time because it makes him aggressive and he gets this crazy look in his eyes. I know he is depressed and we want to help him but I don’t know how. I asked him what he had taken and he said it was a xanie (???) bar. He said he had snorted it.  I am really scared for him and for us. He does not have insurance and we are not rich. He does not have a job, no real friends and has alienated his brothers and sister. He says he is tiring to detox  and hasn’t done anything for about 7 days. I am so frustrated that he is doing this to himself.. can anyone give me some advise? I just want him to react and get better but he is tearing this family apart..

Please help me.  

[momloves54]

I first want to say I know what you are going through I also am a mother of an addict. This is very painful to watch what addiction does to our children and what a hold it has on them and you dont know where to turn what to do, scared of totally losing them !! Im so very sorry that you and your family are going through this !! I do agree with lesa it sounds more like another drug other than grass or xanax I also feel that he is not being honest with you , but that is part of being addicted. I do know you can not make them get clean they have got to want that for them selves, But you can let him know you are there for him and love him but for him to  get clean is his choice and that is the hard part of being a mother feeling like your hands are tied watching someone you love more than anything destroy there life ! You might consider for yourself to go to some na meetings you can look them up in your area I know they really helped me cope through some very rough times you need this for you!! You will receive alot of support on this forum as well as a lot of information ,that can help you and him There are some Wonderful people here willing and ready to care and help !! does he live with you?  If he does not work where does he get money to buy drugs? If you need to talk Im here ill try to help you !!  I will be praying for you and your son please keep posting people will help try to get him to read some of the post here they just might reach him!

[MyBabyGirl668]

My sisters boy uses all kinds of drugs......meth, pot, alchohol and?? He has an underlying problem that we believe causes him to use.  It is the illness of schizophrenia.  Has he ever been tested for this?  I only say that because of the fact that he hears voices.

[bmdad]

I had the same thought that 10356 had about it not sounding like weed or even xanax. Although I haven't touched weed since high school I know it always relaxed me and I was as mellow as could be. I don't know much about xanax but was prescribed it when I was going through withdrawals from vicodin. It is a anti anxiety med so not sure if that would cause him to be aggressive also. I can not say what he may be taking as pain meds is what I always and have never been around anyone else on other drugs as mentioned above. It just doesn't seem to me that weed could be causing him to be aggressive. Could he just be saying it's weed because it's known to be one of the more popular and people don't get quite the bad stigma from it compared to other drugs?
I feel for you for what you have had to deal with. I have 2 young kiddos and I know it would break my heart if I were in your shoes. Addiction is so tricky and even with everyone trying to help a addict, they have to want it for themselves. All you can do is try and support him without getting upset and yelling. I know it may be very difficult but the more pressure put on a addict, the more the are likely to use. A lot of us end up using to numb ourselves from our everyday problems. Just keep trying to support him as much as possible but eventually it will hit rock bottom and hopefully get the help he truly needs. That day usually comes for someone that has a problem. Is there anyway you could get him to home on this forum for help? At least it would be a start. I've seen so many people on here say they can't get clean but because of all the wonderful people on here giving advice and words of encouragement gives them that added boost they need. I'm sorry for what you have to deal with as I know it can be tough having someone close to you addicted to something. I wish you the best of luck!
Brian

[10356]

Welcome to the forum and very sorry to read you are having to deal with this.. I must say from the description of his behaviors the alienation of family and the crazed look in the eyes does not fit weed. it sounds more along the line of smoking crack or taking extacy ?? This is only my opinion.. snorting xanax would not cause such a paranoid state although coming down you can get very aggressive.. does your son live with you ? We have to admit to our addictions before we can get help. Maybe show him this forum and let him read for a night it might wake him up.. others will be on that can better advice you but I would not believe all that he is telling you he is taking. at some point you have to protect yourself and other family members if he becomes destructive.. I wish you and yours well.. lesa