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Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
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Avatar universal

This Depression

I have tapered down and had some days off the oxycodone, I am not stopping all together because I do not have any alternative of pain managment and the fight with the insurance company is not a battle I can fight now. I was coming off of a relatively small dose, (22.5 mg a day, up to 30 when needed) and now the depression I have is so bad that I honestly feel I should be checked in somewhere. I dont want to go though, hospitals are so uncomfortable and I feel like I would be more miserable there than I am inside while at home. I know depression is COMMON, but I honestly have this black cloud inside me and its making me do crazy things. I have never wanted to crash my car while speeding down the road, or cut myself just to watch the blood run, but now I do. I have to go about my daily life and be "mom" and "employee" and "wife" and Im supposed to be the one to catch all the slack. Ive noticed Ive stopped caring so much about everything in an attempt to relax and not be so anxious and now theres just darkness inside. I have a psych appt tomorrow, can anyone tell me if this is relatively normal or if I should be going somewhere ASAP? I just want to take any thing I can get my hands on to make this depression stop. I even drank and I hate the taste of alchohol.I just want it to go away. I've only had 3 pills (5/325 oxy) in 6 days and the depression isnt GONE when I have them. or maybe I just didnt take enough. Im at a loss...... how do I get myself well and be everything for everyone?
8 Responses
Avatar universal
So, anyone, is this normal post-opiate depression or should I be RUNNING to the nearest ER?
Avatar universal
Lord Dear God, your post is EXACTLY how I felt, and feel!!! I am on day 14 now, but the depression I was in, hit me while I was still taking the *** pills too.  I still have depression, it has only let up a tad bit.  I may not be the right person to help you with this, because I still have depression at this time, but I had to comment because your words should have came out of my mouth.  I dont know if you are old enough, but Im also wondering because of my age, could it be that Im going thru some kinda change of life, because I just cannot understand what this depression is about, and why is it still upon me like this.  It is truly dibilitating.  I just wanted to DIE.  Now I am just blank.  I am not suicidal, but too scared to act on any of my depressing thoughts.  Im doing alot of praying,and talking to God.  I am at a lost with this depression thing, All I can say is, I guess it will go away, mine hasnt yet, but has eased just a tad.  Not enough to say, or feel healthy me. And to be honest with you, I dont want another pill, or meds for it, Im sick of meds for everything.  I think they would most likely have me in worst mental state than now.  I feel so alone in this thing, I too am expected to be hero mom, wife, and all that too.  Its crazy.  So Im just here.  Sorry I dont have a solution for you, for I am in the same boat.  God be with you.  Stay strong.
Avatar universal
PLEASE let me know how your psych appt goes, please....I also felt I needed to see one, I know I most likely still do, but just cant bring myself to do it.
3164225 tn?1358976774
Hiiiiii!! Well were you depressed while on the opiates? I am almost three months clean and battled depression the first 2 months off of my opiates. I still have bouts with anxiety but I am learning coping skills and dealing with it pretty well. I HATED THE DEPRESSION!!! But let me tell you it is normal and it goes away. Just keep telling yourself that it is normal because it is. When I first started feeling that black cloud when I quit I asked myself so many questions. Is this normal, will this go away. And let me tell you I had little faith that it would. But it doed. It ***** so bad but you need to just give it time. You can help it along as well by working out, walking, eating properly, going to meetings speaking to professionals. There is also medication a psychiatrist can give you if it is unbearable. Please just hang in there as this is more normal than you think.
2074300 tn?1340594685
I am no doctor....but for me.. yes depression was a part of going off pills.

My advise is if you are afraid you are thinking of hurting yourself,,,try to see your doc today or go to the ER.

If you just feel blah and can hang on for one more day.....go to your appointment tomorrow and be totally honest....DO NOT LEAVE ANYTHING YOU ARE FEELING OUT!

If possible...call the office and tell THEM how you are feeling....they will probably get you in there TODAY!!

Take care of you!

3170462 tn?1344721152
I'm right there with you sometimes.

I've relied on pills to provide a sense of power, energy, joy, and courage for a long time. With them gone, I'm not only faced with managing life's trials and tribulations without a buffer, but I'm doing it with tools that have gotten really rusty. Everything feels raw. Like punching a bruise. And bleak. And colorless. And sometimes I wonder if it'll ever get better.

I'm glad you're going to see someone. They'll be able to help determine where your feelings are coming from, and how to move forward in a healthy, fulfilling way. For now, please try to go easy on yourself. You can't be everything to everyone. But you can do your best every day, and that in and of itself is a pretty amazing thing. :)
3149845 tn?1506631371
Your in the same state of mind when you where not tapering. You need to add some new thoughts to your life. Try to think of an idea to get rich. Come up with a very simple product and have it Patented. You need to get some excitement in your life. Use this depression as a sign that you need to be more creative and nothing can be more creative that creating a product and getting rich. I know this sounds stupid but if you see all those silly things selling for $19.95 on tv you can do the same. I have done this as speak from experience. I created a very simple product had it Patented and making a lot of money. Im not saying this to brag but really letting you know it can be done. Just come up with a product that is in need, when you do this it will automatically define the market, find a factory and thats it.
1235186 tn?1549261219
COMMUNITY LEADER
hun , if you are thinking about harming yourself or have harmed yourself you need to get yourself to the ER.
depression is a definitely symptom of detox and withdrawal. have you spoken with your husband, a trusted friend, a clergymen?
you need to get yourself up and out. get yourself moving,exercise, keep yourself busy, i think you should really consider stopping the meds all together. they mess with your psych. too much, as you can testify to.
there are other methods of pain management, exercise,hot and cold compresses,massage. these are relavtively cheap alternatives.
the pills mask the pain.
we are here to encourage you, please stop taking the pills so your mind,body,soul and spirit can heal. there is healing.
sending prayers,hope,support,
debbie
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