This really is a great place... Thank you

[grace03]

You guys really make me feel welcomed and that means so much. Right now I need to do this alone. That is why I went to the net, in hopes of finding some sort of support. i nearly died several years ago from a faulty surgery, 30 days on morphine and years on pills, I found the pain decreased and I was just going for the next high. I did get help and my god I know I let down my hubby down more than one could imagine. We had 3 small kids at home, barely making it and i left him alone to pick up my pieces. Never again. Today our kids are teens (1 tween). financially stronger, just no insurance. I know I can do this. I know a lot has to do with my selfworth, self value, my purpose on earth. My God I think about this a lot lately. My purpose? To be an amazing mother, one my girls admire. Now that they are teens and no longer "need" me as often. I guess I am feeling like "where is my job?" I can just take it day by day right?  I fear and I mean FEAR the withdrawl and I will be honest.  Cold Turkey *shiver*.  I know I can taper, I just need to find the strength deep inside my soul. So far today 1 10mg oxy, I find myself watching the clock. Nearly 11:30 time for a Norco, but I am not doing it.

Step One. Cut out Norco. Step Two wean of oxy. Step Three find a new way to deal with sciatica pain.

[loveisamom]

Hi and welcome-u can do this, it won't be easy-but try tapering (weaing), thats what I am doing so far.  Instead of every 2 hours, I am going 3.5 hours.  Not much I know-but something to start.  I'll hang in there-I hope to see you doing the same.

[tink1517]

i to have 2 little girls 10 and 6. i need pain meds for chronic pain and i, like so many of us, abuse them every chance i get. i have no will power when it comes to my "pills" my d.o.c is lorcets 10mg 10-15 a day. and yes the SCARIEST PART is knowing how horrific w/d are. but you can do it. i'm on my third attempt, and doing better this time. in my prior post i've said Clymbalta has really helped. with depression, counting the hours, and my over all attitude. it has helped with the pain too. keep strong, you can do it, we all fall and stumble, but remember we're all just human. your intentions are good. when my 10yr old said "she wanted her old mommy back" since every time i'm out of pills i'm sick. THAT WAS MY WAKE UP CALL!!!

[grace03]

Oh Tink, hear your story of your daughter asking for her old mommy back.  Got me thinking.  In the 12 years of my youngest daughters life, I have been clean maybe 4 of them.  Those were the best times. The first year of her birth, then I went into surgery to have some clips removed from my tubes and a ovarian cyst.  Woke up from surgery unable to breathe.  Told it was normal and the pain was gas.  Discharge. Days later I am on the Dr.s floor in pain, sent home with supositories. Next day I am in surgery with a softball sized pocket of e-coli. Peritinitis is what I had. No Dr. would talk about it, other than a possible nicked colon, but then again, that is just 1 possibility.  Basically small town, close Dr.s and I'm alive right? Course not without 4 follow up surgeries in the up coming weeks and 3 more years later.

Today I am OC soccer mom and just feel like I am hiding this "dirty little secret"

Okay yawns are starting.  OMG I don't know what is worse, the physical or psychological?

[tink1517]

you will make it, this is my 3rd attempt. i see my girls in march, and they WILL have their old mommy back. my 1st 2 detoxes were PURE HELL, this time i'm taking cymbalta and has made it alot easier, no counting hours and thinking of pills, helps w/ pain to.  I always thought i was " super mom" apparently my own kids didn't see me this way. 5 yrs ago a was "sick" no pills and my daughter actually said "mommy take your lorcet so you feel better. I had endometroisis, 8 surgeries, including hysterectomy at 27, so i have scar tissue pain, and can be hormonally unbalanced alot. it's a tough way to live. I wish my dr's would of told me what raod i was heading down when they started writing the RX's so freely. by the way were are you from?

[grace03]

OMG the adhesion pain. The pulling, stinging, stop in your tracks and breathe pain.  Been there.  Found an amazing Dr. when we moved back to California and have been pain free there for years. I was loving life, PTA president, Soccer mom, Room Mom, you name it I lived and breathed our girls.  Then one day I pushed to get up from the couch and did something wrong, because the next thing I know I was curled in pain screaming.  Herniated disk.  I know have a disk pushing on the sciatic nerve. Oxy was great, I was in for long term pain.  You know what though, the pain is nothing what it was.  I know that. I will fight this.  Lately mommy is always just not "feeling well".  I am tired.  Mommy has that cold going around.  I am work exhausted.  I am thinking they are not buying it anymore.  Just the other day hubby tried to get frisky and i snapped, he says "your always in pain, or don't feel good, I am scared to touch you". I don't want to be that wife, my god I want my old life back.  I will have it back, just like you will be with those girls soon Tink :)
BTW, I am in California (Orange County, my god with the money out here I know I am not the only housewife, just one of the silent ones)

[1911]

I can feel it in my bones...you are going to do this and make it.  All the signs are there.  Please, keep in touch and let us be your supporters, too!  We can tell you our stories, give reassurance, and help you when the temptation is at its worst.

BTW: My cover story with everyone - except my wife - is that "they suspect I might have walking pneumonia".  The symptoms are somewhat similar to w/d, especially fatigue; and, this cover story seems to satisfy inquiring minds.  

George
Day 14