You are not a loser. Tapering does not have a high success rate for just that reason. As addicts we look for any excuse to take pills or whatever our DOC is. that is just the nature of the game.
Oh yeah, and intelligence has nothing to do with it. There was a study done back in the 90's when they first discovered that addiction was a disease, or finally admitted it. Anyway the study stated that addicts, as a group, are some of the most intelligent group of people. That is probably not to our advantage.
So what are you going to do next?
I don't know , i want to control my pain other way I know that and my emotions another way, learn to cope better, i used to cope better yrs ago. I will keep on trying, i am getting tired and tired of this game so its coming to an end
I hope it does come to an end and you do get clean. The way you are living is no way to live.
You know we are here for you when you are ready and still here for you now. Hang in there.
Now may be a good time to give those pills to someone else. Hint hint nudge nudge. I like the intelligence bit. I was too smart for my own good, thought I knew it all, thought I knew what was best. LOL!!!!! Me and my best thinking got me drunk, stoned, high and screwed up in the head. LOL!!!!!
Keep trying amity. It's just a minor setback. Tomorrow is a new day.