Guess it wouldn't hurt to tell you a little about myself!
First I want to admit I'm and addict to Tramadol, not proud to tell anyone this but I feel it must be done in order to get through this...
I am a 37 year old single father of the most two important people in my life, I have been for 11 years. I started taking pills back in 10/10 due to falling, I have took pills before and lets say I am not the kind to take as directed. At the time of the fall I was taking loratab 10mg for many years and knowingly taking them at a high rate (8 to 10+ per day) and would search them out when I was out. After a few months of shattering my wrist It got to the point I was running out of a script of 240ct within two weeks and begging if I had to in order to obtain any pain meds. My doctor thought it would be a good idea to give me Tramadol 50mg (130ct to start) along with my loratabs and lets say I thought it was the best thing ever (or so I thought)
I already attempted to quit taking tabs before and knew it wasn't something I was prepared for, I finally weaned off the tabs but only going full on tram-track ride which was nearly 2 years now. I'd like to stop for a minute to let everyone know I am a family oriented man and believe in it 100% because of my kids, now this being said I want to let you know the dark side of me that I am no where near proud to admit. I would take my 240ct Tramadol and go search for more and my 84 year old grandmother would be one of my main stops.
We had a major change in life, where My kids and I moved out of state and not thinking the move would be a permanent move. 05/22/15 we made our trip and I had a 3 month refill script on file at my hometown pharmacy, I'm even surprised that I was able to take my limit 6-50mg per day and keep it at that rate for the three months I thought we would be here but by God's hands I did. The time come that I knew we was going to live here for good and all of a sudden I was in awe and denial that I would no longer have a pain doctor to fill my fix and then the day came to where I had nothing left and nobody to go to here.
I ran out the same morning my kids needed to start school on 08/04 and I am now on day 5 cold turkey. Today seems to be the worst of the worst but I just know its all in my mind but only 2 people I know I can talk to are my children. I did tell them so they might have some sort of understanding of what might come. I did call my grandmother (grandpa is probably flipping in his resting place) to have her mail me some but I AM SO TERRIFIED of the day they make it here.
I guess what I want to ask is. Should I send them back or keep the damn things to prolong my tormented mind. I just want to go back to that normal person I was back in high school???
I know it don't seem to make since but the words that lay before you all are the only words that came to my mind, Thank you for letting me rant. Day 5 cold turkey is almost over, soon for day six.God is in control