Tramadol Cold Turkey Withdrawal???

[PlowBoy36420]

Guess it wouldn't hurt to tell you a little about myself!
First I want to admit I'm and addict to Tramadol, not proud to tell anyone this but I feel it must be done in order to get through this...

I am a 37 year old single father of the most two important people in my life, I have been for 11 years. I started taking pills back in 10/10 due to falling, I have took pills before and lets say I am not the kind to take as directed. At the time of the fall I was taking loratab 10mg for many years and knowingly taking them at a high rate (8 to 10+ per day) and would search them out when I was out. After a few months of shattering my wrist It got to the point I was running out of a script of 240ct within two weeks and begging if I had to in order to obtain any pain meds. My doctor thought it would be a good idea to give me Tramadol 50mg (130ct to start) along with my loratabs and lets say I thought it was the best thing ever (or so I thought)

I already attempted to quit taking tabs before and knew it wasn't something I was prepared for, I finally weaned off the tabs but only going full on tram-track ride which was nearly 2 years now. I'd like to stop for a minute to let everyone know I am a family oriented man and believe in it 100% because of my kids, now this being said I want to let you know the dark side of me that I am no where near proud to admit. I would take my 240ct Tramadol and go search for more and my 84 year old grandmother would be one of my main stops.

We had a major change in life, where My kids and I moved out of state and not thinking the move would be a permanent move. 05/22/15 we made our trip and I had a 3 month refill script on file at my hometown pharmacy, I'm even surprised that I was able to take my limit 6-50mg per day and keep it at that rate for the three months I thought we would be here but by God's hands I did. The time come that I knew we was going to live here for good and all of a sudden I was in awe and denial that I would no longer have a pain doctor to fill my fix and then the day came to where I had nothing left and nobody to go to here.

I ran out the same morning my kids needed to start school on 08/04 and I am now on day 5 cold turkey. Today seems to be the worst of the worst but I just know its all in my mind but only 2 people I know I can talk to are my children. I did tell them so they might have some sort of understanding of what might come. I did call my grandmother (grandpa is probably flipping in his resting place) to have her mail me some but I AM SO TERRIFIED of the day they make it here.  

I guess what I want to ask is. Should I send them back or keep the damn things to prolong my tormented mind. I just want to go back to that normal person  I was back in high school???

I know it don't seem to make since but the words that lay before you all are the only words that came to my mind, Thank you for letting me rant. Day 5 cold turkey is almost over, soon for day six.God is in control

[PlowBoy36420]

Thanks all

I know I don't feel like I have the upmh to get out and move about, the depression don't help it neither but I know if I just push myself just a little it seems to be a mental not physical

[Jerry198]

EXCELLENT!!!!!!! your posts are what many visiting this site need to read your journey shows that it can be done that there is a life away from all the meds that hold us down you should be proud of what you have accomplished thus far and as far as when will you stop counting ?? well for me it starts to fade after about a month or so best wishes..

[dedicatedtostop]

Great attitude!! What Fogger is referring to is NA meetings or professional help! It's often critical to keep you clean in the long run!

Try to goggle some NA meetings in your local area.

Here's the link

http://www.na.org/meetingsearch/

I know I personally never thought I needed NA until I realized that I really needed it!

Please keep us posted and keep up the EXCELLENT work!!

[PlowBoy36420]

Well here it is day 9 and I feel fine (thought I would put a rime in lol) my hearts racing a little but I  know it will pass.
I will find something constructive to do, I got this day

[PlowBoy36420]

Haven't heard of after care before, only know to keep going.
I didn't realize how much I was tired, we got home and now I'm waking up at 1/4 to 1 just to get my bath lol.

[Frogger76]

Your probably starting to experience the mental withdrawals from the trams. Your emotions might be all over the place for a while, but will return to normal in time. Just keep as busy as possible. Remember, detoxing is the easy part, living life as a recovering addict is a lifetime commitment. Do you have any plans for aftercare??