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Avatar universal

Tried to kill myself last night, still here

I got myself down from 15/10s a day to 3, but, recently its been I been slipping one extra in a day.  The depression is killing me.  I have been on effexor which is not working so my doc just gave my prozac.  Long story short, I cant get it together. My marraige is pretty much over.  So I got loaded last nite and my husband told me the only reason we couldnt change things is becuase I dont have a job, so we are stuck.  I have no job 3 small children to take care of and also a mother to take care of finacially.  When it started to get heated he stuck a gun in his mouth and told me to shoot him when I said no he stuck the gun to my head.  He couldnt even tell me that I was a good mom,  So, I went in the bathroom and slit both my wrists.  He saw all the blood and got my mother and she freaked and bandaged them up.  I know that you guys are probably thinking how selfish I am, but,I dont even feel like I am good enough to be a mom,, I feel they deserve better.  My husband uses all kinds of choice words, like how crazy I am, he still puts me down for my detoxes, he says I am a idiot and a fool.  After a while you start beliving it.  I used to be so strong, or at least I felt that way when I was using all my pills.  I really want to get better, I just dont know where to start.  I am just so low I cant even make it out of the house to apply for a job,,, Any suggestions??  I need help..Anybody have any ideas????  G
17 Responses
182493 tn?1348056515
I am so sorry you are going through so much.. my suggestion would be to call your doc first thing in the morning.. your meds for depression may not be working at the time.. also your husband seems like a loose canon.. that scares the hell outta me..i have been in an abusive relationship.. physical and emotional..
Avatar universal
Call your local women's shelter as soon as you can. You are being abused. I'm sorry I can't sugar coat that. Call. Please.

When you are SAFE, then think about getting clean. Take it one step at a time. First you have to be SAFE. Not trying to judge you, or your husband, He needs some help, and so do you. Be safe. If you feel like trying suicide again, dial 911. Cops are cops, but they will help you get to some help.

Be safe. Please.

Here if you need me.
182775 tn?1209739627
Call 911 immediately.  It is going to be difficult, but you must get yourself and the children out of the house.

There is a battered women's shelter in your town/city.  They can usually house you and the children for up to six months...and, that includes everything.  Through them you can get job training and job searching when the time is right.  They will also have legal help to sort out your finances and your mother's as well as guide you through the legal processes.  They will wrap their arms around you and the children.

PLEASE...call 911.  Explain the gun, first, for the safety of the officers; and, then ask them to put you in touch with the battered women's organization.  The police and women's shelters work together.

I am a law enforcement officer and I am telling you this from experience.  Read this and go directly to the telephone and call.

Do not post back...just get out of that house.  Now !

Week 6

Avatar universal
Hi I'm rock, I don't think cutting yourself is the answer. Sounds like you didn't want to kill yourself but you wanted to defuse the bomb that was going off around you. I have taken two and a half years of anger management and what you just described is a very dangerous situation. The first thing you need to do is make it safe for you your children and mother. When someone pulls out a gun while angry this is serious I don't want to read about you in the paper or hear of you on tv. there is absolutely no reason to have a gun in hand with children around. If I were you I would not hang around to see what happens next!!! this only advice and hope things work out for you but if you post this kind of information on the forum someone could report it. If you want help get out before someone gets seriously injured guns and anger don't mix!!!

the rock
Avatar universal
You need more help then just emotion support which is all that can be gotten here. Please, Please reach out.

Avatar universal
Thank you for your kind words, I am going to look into the wemons shelter tomorrow.  The last time we had problems they had no room there.  When we got married I was so happy and I had so much hope.  I was a cocktail waitress here in a Vegas, I had a great shift and I was making great money.  Because of my addiction I lost 2 jobs, with that and the mental abuse I just feel worthless.  I dont want to call 911 because I dont want to be placed on a 72 hour suicide hold.  The worst part of it all is that our anniversary is tomorrow.  I hate this, I dont want to live in the projects, I grew up that way, it was not easy.  I will call my doctor though and I will try the wemons shelters.  Thank you so much for your kind words and advice,, You know the sick thing is that there is a web site that tells you diffrent ways to kill yourself, what a wonderful world we live in, lol... Thank you to all,. I will get on it tomorrow, G
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