Aa
Tried to kill myself last night, still here
I got myself down from 15/10s a day to 3, but, recently its been I been slipping one extra in a day. The depression is killing me. I have been on effexor which is not working so my doc just gave my prozac. Long story short, I cant get it together. My marraige is pretty much over. So I got loaded last nite and my husband told me the only reason we couldnt change things is becuase I dont have a job, so we are stuck. I have no job 3 small children to take care of and also a mother to take care of finacially. When it started to get heated he stuck a gun in his mouth and told me to shoot him when I said no he stuck the gun to my head. He couldnt even tell me that I was a good mom, So, I went in the bathroom and slit both my wrists. He saw all the blood and got my mother and she freaked and bandaged them up. I know that you guys are probably thinking how selfish I am, but,I dont even feel like I am good enough to be a mom,, I feel they deserve better. My husband uses all kinds of choice words, like how crazy I am, he still puts me down for my detoxes, he says I am a idiot and a fool. After a while you start beliving it. I used to be so strong, or at least I felt that way when I was using all my pills. I really want to get better, I just dont know where to start. I am just so low I cant even make it out of the house to apply for a job,,, Any suggestions?? I need help..Anybody have any ideas???? G
I am so sorry you are going through so much.. my suggestion would be to call your doc first thing in the morning.. your meds for depression may not be working at the time.. also your husband seems like a loose canon.. that scares the hell outta me..i have been in an abusive relationship.. physical and emotional..
Call your local women's shelter as soon as you can. You are being abused. I'm sorry I can't sugar coat that. Call. Please.
When you are SAFE, then think about getting clean. Take it one step at a time. First you have to be SAFE. Not trying to judge you, or your husband, He needs some help, and so do you. Be safe. If you feel like trying suicide again, dial 911. Cops are cops, but they will help you get to some help.
Be safe. Please.
Here if you need me.
When you are SAFE, then think about getting clean. Take it one step at a time. First you have to be SAFE. Not trying to judge you, or your husband, He needs some help, and so do you. Be safe. If you feel like trying suicide again, dial 911. Cops are cops, but they will help you get to some help.
Be safe. Please.
Here if you need me.
Call 911 immediately. It is going to be difficult, but you must get yourself and the children out of the house.
There is a battered women's shelter in your town/city. They can usually house you and the children for up to six months...and, that includes everything. Through them you can get job training and job searching when the time is right. They will also have legal help to sort out your finances and your mother's as well as guide you through the legal processes. They will wrap their arms around you and the children.
PLEASE...call 911. Explain the gun, first, for the safety of the officers; and, then ask them to put you in touch with the battered women's organization. The police and women's shelters work together.
I am a law enforcement officer and I am telling you this from experience. Read this and go directly to the telephone and call.
Do not post back...just get out of that house. Now !
GEORGE
Week 6
There is a battered women's shelter in your town/city. They can usually house you and the children for up to six months...and, that includes everything. Through them you can get job training and job searching when the time is right. They will also have legal help to sort out your finances and your mother's as well as guide you through the legal processes. They will wrap their arms around you and the children.
PLEASE...call 911. Explain the gun, first, for the safety of the officers; and, then ask them to put you in touch with the battered women's organization. The police and women's shelters work together.
I am a law enforcement officer and I am telling you this from experience. Read this and go directly to the telephone and call.
Do not post back...just get out of that house. Now !
GEORGE
Week 6
Hi I'm rock, I don't think cutting yourself is the answer. Sounds like you didn't want to kill yourself but you wanted to defuse the bomb that was going off around you. I have taken two and a half years of anger management and what you just described is a very dangerous situation. The first thing you need to do is make it safe for you your children and mother. When someone pulls out a gun while angry this is serious I don't want to read about you in the paper or hear of you on tv. there is absolutely no reason to have a gun in hand with children around. If I were you I would not hang around to see what happens next!!! this only advice and hope things work out for you but if you post this kind of information on the forum someone could report it. If you want help get out before someone gets seriously injured guns and anger don't mix!!!
the rock
the rock
You need more help then just emotion support which is all that can be gotten here. Please, Please reach out.
Thank you for your kind words, I am going to look into the wemons shelter tomorrow. The last time we had problems they had no room there. When we got married I was so happy and I had so much hope. I was a cocktail waitress here in a Vegas, I had a great shift and I was making great money. Because of my addiction I lost 2 jobs, with that and the mental abuse I just feel worthless. I dont want to call 911 because I dont want to be placed on a 72 hour suicide hold. The worst part of it all is that our anniversary is tomorrow. I hate this, I dont want to live in the projects, I grew up that way, it was not easy. I will call my doctor though and I will try the wemons shelters. Thank you so much for your kind words and advice,, You know the sick thing is that there is a web site that tells you diffrent ways to kill yourself, what a wonderful world we live in, lol... Thank you to all,. I will get on it tomorrow, G
Thank you for your courage to reach out to us here. I have battled depression for several years and it was only compounded by the drug mask of "happiness." Not to mention the emotional changes that come with detox- it is like grieving the death of losing a great "friend" that has always been there for you to turn to and make things "feel better."
But this is beyond that and first things first you need to get somewhere safe. Only there can you then deal with everything else. The first time I detoxed I voluntarily ended up going in to the nearest behavioral health center and was placed on the 72hr suicidal watch hold you speak of. I had been trying many SSRIs and SNRIs, to no success, and the drs kept telling me to give them "a chance" to start working, which we all know can take 4-6 weeks to build up. My response was literally "how can we guarantee that I will even spare my life long enough to be around in 4-6 weeks to see?!" PLEASE, get somewhere safe, regardless of where that is at, and then face one day at a time until you find the right mix for you. And remember God never gives us more than we can handle although I know it often feels as such. My love and prayers are with you!!
But this is beyond that and first things first you need to get somewhere safe. Only there can you then deal with everything else. The first time I detoxed I voluntarily ended up going in to the nearest behavioral health center and was placed on the 72hr suicidal watch hold you speak of. I had been trying many SSRIs and SNRIs, to no success, and the drs kept telling me to give them "a chance" to start working, which we all know can take 4-6 weeks to build up. My response was literally "how can we guarantee that I will even spare my life long enough to be around in 4-6 weeks to see?!" PLEASE, get somewhere safe, regardless of where that is at, and then face one day at a time until you find the right mix for you. And remember God never gives us more than we can handle although I know it often feels as such. My love and prayers are with you!!
I am so sorry to hear of your pain and anguish. Definately call your Dr. and let him/her know of your suicidal actions. A very serious side affect of antidepressants, when they do not agree with you, is suicide. That may be increasing your feelings of doom and despair. If you do nothing else, please make this call. Changing your medication may make all the difference in the world for you.
It sounds like you still love your husband very much in spite of the troubles you are going through. Maybe focusing on the good times and your babies will make you stronger and then you both may seek out counseling. If he sees how serious you are about getting healthy again it might motivate him to gert help too.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers. God Bless you.
It sounds like you still love your husband very much in spite of the troubles you are going through. Maybe focusing on the good times and your babies will make you stronger and then you both may seek out counseling. If he sees how serious you are about getting healthy again it might motivate him to gert help too.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers. God Bless you.
I am so sorry to hear of your pain and anguish. Definately call your Dr. and let him/her know of your suicidal actions. A very serious side affect of antidepressants, when they do not agree with you, is suicide. That may be increasing your feelings of doom and despair. If you do nothing else, please make this call. Changing your medication may make all the difference in the world for you.
It sounds like you still love your husband very much in spite of the troubles you are going through. Maybe focusing on the good times and your babies will make you stronger and then you both may seek out counseling. If he sees how serious you are about getting healthy again it might motivate him to gert help too.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers. God Bless you.
It sounds like you still love your husband very much in spite of the troubles you are going through. Maybe focusing on the good times and your babies will make you stronger and then you both may seek out counseling. If he sees how serious you are about getting healthy again it might motivate him to gert help too.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers. God Bless you.
DON'T LISTEN TO YOUR HUSBAND. He is the crazy one to talk to you that way. A lot of us are here because of our doctors, and that's a fact.
Safe Nest provides shelter services for the rural and urban areas of Clark County with shelters in Las Vegas and North Las Vegas. Residents receive staff support and advocacy including individual case planning, onsite support meetings, parenting classes, vocational counseling and housing assistance.
Children's services include an on-staff therapist and children's programmer, structured playtime and indoor/outdoor play facilities.
24-hour Domestic Crisis Hotline
In Las Vegas 646-4981
Outside Las Vegas 1-800-486-7282
TDD 647-8584
Children's services include an on-staff therapist and children's programmer, structured playtime and indoor/outdoor play facilities.
24-hour Domestic Crisis Hotline
In Las Vegas 646-4981
Outside Las Vegas 1-800-486-7282
TDD 647-8584
Add, you sound like your trying to head in the right direction, but no support and even worse alot of CRAZY abuse. I work for law-inforcement and can tell you what he is doing to you is againt the law and have him removed from your home for the safety of not just you but your children.I am also d/t form pain meds and it a living hell,but it can be done it just takes time and support.MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU AND WILL PRAY FOR YOUR RECOVERY AND SAFETY.GOD BLESS
Add, you sound like your trying to head in the right direction, but no support and even worse alot of CRAZY abuse. I work for law-inforcement and can tell you what he is doing to you is againt the law and have him removed from your home for the safety of not just you but your children.I am also d/t form pain meds and it a living hell,but it can be done it just takes time and support.MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU AND WILL PRAY FOR YOUR RECOVERY AND SAFETY.GOD BLESS
Thank you all, 911, thank you so much for going to the trouble of looking that up for me.. I know that you took your own time to do that and I do appreciate it.. I will call, unfortunately, the last time I called they had no room, but, I am going to give it a try again today. We have another place to called shade tree, they get so filled up because we have so many homeless people here.. Thank-you again,, your very sweet..G
If you tell them about the gun, my guess is that they will MAKE room for you. I've trained with a lot of women's shelter groups from across the US, and the ones I've had experience with would find a safe place for you. I didn't want to push you too hard last night, but it sounds like you are coming around so I will now. Abuse is all about control. Your drugs put you out of his control, and he ain't gonna like that. With abusers it has to be all about him. If he is using a gun, that is his last means of control. If he feels that isn't working, you will be dead. That's the last card he has. Get out of there right NOW! I've seen the last card played too many times. Please update as you get safe!!!
Thank-you for all your kind comments. I have made a appointment to see a counselor and I am going to take it from there. We are really not talking so I dont feel in danger. He has done countless things in the past, saying he was going to shoot himself soooo many times. He has never turned the gun on me nor has he ever psysically abused me. Long story short, I think he is just a control freak. Yes, he mentally abuses me, but, I am used to that. At this point my mother has made herself around all the time. I am going to do what the counselor suggests tomorrow. Thank you so much for everything,,I will keep you posted.. Peace, G
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