877576 tn?1240953096

Ultram Detox Not All Rock & Roll

Hi everybody,
My name is Phil I posted here earlier. Im going to kick Ultrams A#$ ........So here we go......This morning I woke up and took two. I have been keeping a log by the way. So at 300 Az time I started wigging out, I mean I felt like total confusion but still here. Even right now I feel like Im not really here. I cant believe Im even typing this right now...Talk about a Space Cadet that would be me. So Im going to wait until about 9 pm and take one more that would be a total of 200 mg for the day I think right they are 50 mg a piece.....I have been strung out now for 10 years on this stuff and everything else I could get my hands on. I gave up Percs the other day and had some real fun times flopping like a fish, you could have thrown your laundry in with me in the bath tub and got a clean load.....It was crazy I dint sleep very much for **** I cant remember must have been 5 days.....Anyway just to let you know my doc told me the same thing that they were not addicting, however "I except and take ownership that it was I who choose to abuse so I will not place blame on my doctor. My doctor with the help of God diagnosed me at stage one kidney cancer. I had no symptoms what so ever. And nope I dint smoke or had any family history of cancer. So to make a long story short they took my right kidney out and because it left such a big empty space where it was they filled it in with UPS packaging peanuts!!!!
Now you think that I would be smart enough not to abuse with only one kidney. Nope Im pretty stupid (Im a addict)
And no matter how clean I get I will always be a addict. Or rather a recovering addict. I went to a meeting last night and I must have looked really funny to everyone one because I have been told that I look like Ozzy. Im covered in ink and have real long hair, anyway I sat in that meeting with my limbs involuntarily twitching about. So can you image how much I must have looked like Ozzy with my hands and legs trembling....The funny thing is my wife is english (very english) so we get the Ozzy and Sharon thing alot. Im a musician and work in the industry (The best place to get a monkey on your back) I have been feeding my little monkey for many years.....I have decided that he has to go..
So ( Guys dont spank your monkey, get rid of him) Just a little sick humour I have to laugh at this because I have done it all to myself. I hope to find out why through this program. As far as my kidney, liver, brain (what little I have) and me being worried about any damage I will leave it up two God to take care of that..Of course I will get blood work done as soon as I come out the other side but right now thats not first and foremost. The reason I brought that up is I saw someone who was freaking out about wether or not they damaged there liver, kidneys etc... Yes you can but most of this medication is broken down through your liver I only know this because I have had regular check ups and even talked to my doctor about my addictive behavior. I would get a script of Perc's 60 at a time and I would take about three a day or maybe 4 so I was a careful addict......rarely would I drink I always knew that would jack your liver up........But anyways folks the human body is a pretty amazing piece of equipment that can heal itself (Sometimes) I have abused this hunk of burning love for many years and its only by the grace of God that Im still here. Im so very lucky I have a wonderful(Patient) wife who has put up with my self destructive ways...Please forgive my grammar I was  to much of a smart *** in school to pay attention in english class. Thats why I bang on drums for a living...I love music beyond anything and even in the midst of this nasty withdrawl I keep myself busy doing chores and taking care of my 8 dogs and two Parrots.........I dont have a job right now out of choice.....But let me tell you working around the house is no walk in the park. There is always something to do or fix its crazy.....I hope I can stay clean this time Im alot older this time around a little bit wiser. When I went to that meeting last night I kept my mouth shut and twitching ears open. I heard all these people telling there stories and I swear they were talking about me. I have walked around on the face of this earth thinking that I know it all, and everyone else in this world was out to get me....Humm
Its time for change......Not going to be easy, but I have done this to myself, not my doctor, not my wife, not my ****** childhood(Yes I had one but big deal alot of people have) So I take ownership of this so I will "Suck It Up" And take my medicine(Pun Intended) Like a true addict medicine meaning the withdrawls..........Im fastening myseat belt and hanging on...See you on the otherside "One E Ticket Please)...
6 Responses
199177 tn?1490498534
Tram WD is really crappy .I know I have gone threw it many times. I have been clean now for 597 days so it is possible .I have wd off of many drugs and tram has always been the worse for me .The depression and not being able to sleep is the worst for me.I get recovery care it so important to get and stay clean .Take it day by day you can do it !!!!
Avatar universal
I've been on Ultram since 2003 and dependent since 2004. I'm 21 now...so I was what? 15 years old when I started taking the stuff. I remember the first time I felt withdrawal. I didn't even know what it was. I had been taking Ultram everyday and decided I should slow down before I get addicted. Throughout that day I just felt weird. I tried to lie down, but my legs kept moving. Then suddenly I just took the pills. The weird feelings went away and I knew then that life may never be the same again. So I'm taking it every single that that I can. Sometimes I'll have to go a day or two without and it is pure hell. I went this past Sunday without any and slept for about 2 hours that night. Went to the doctor on Monday and ran to the pharmacy right after. I fear I may never get off this stuff. The withdrawal is just too harsh. The worst pain I have ever felt.
877576 tn?1240953096
Im pretty sure I have done the same thing as far as WD goes. I took 5 yesterday today I will try 4........I was whacked out of my mine yesterday. I had like a million thoughts going through my mind and I was so fuc*&^g on edge I would have lost my temper like right there on the spot...........Its crazy
Avatar universal
You are absolutely hilarious. I have a soft spot for people with quick wit and dry humor as that is always my goal for the day. Trust me when I tell you that your sense of humor alone will help you in this battle. I'm a recovering heroin addict and my sick humor has carried me most of my life. You're right about always being an addict but once we're clean, we are way smarter than the competition and more dangerous that a Marine sniper. Keep on keepin on and when the bullcrapp is over and your head clears - the colors of the world change right before your eyes. The first few months can be tough cuz your brain has to learn to do what it hasn't been doing for years... producing and functioning and a cellular level. So plan for the worst, hope for the best and all that. Hang in there and you'll definitely get this!
822153 tn?1333062995
Hey there "ozzy"...i've been compared to him also but not due to my looks.due to my addiction which caused me to stumble around and bump into **** like he did on the show!!! you have an awesome sense of humor!!!! hang in there and read post and the health pages they do help.i'm coke free for 13 days and tapering off pills.w/ds suck no matter what it is.try the heroin diaries by sixx am; kinda good music.anyways....stay strong;keep in touch-anne
922048 tn?1387942584
I'm glad to see all of your postings! It always helps o not feel so alone. I have been trying for 5 or 6 years to stop this ****. I did manage to cut down from 400 mg/day to 100, but that took me like a year to do! The withdrawals are HORRENDOUS! The body aches, tossing and turning at night, diarrhea, dizziness, etc., are all so debilitating! Now I'm at 200 mg/day and want to go to zero ASAP. I'm determined! Because I am a 41-year old woman who still wants to have a baby.

I just found out something shocking about long-term opioid use. All of my incredibly low hormone levels (testosterone, DHEA, etc.), are likely due to a condition called hypogonadism, which is a fairly common complication from long-term opioid use. It has caused me to be infertile and to miscarry two pregnancies I did have in the last year. I Googled "opioids" and "hypogonadism" and got tons of matches, including several very well-written articles by physicians. (But still when I tried to tell my own fertility specialist about it today, he didn't think there was anything to it!) Sorry, dude, but there is something to it! It's actually a fairly common, yet under-diagnosed syndrome.

I am praying that once I am off this garbage my hormones will go back to normal levels, but until then, I AM infertile. And I have Ultram to thank for that. I was one of the first people to take it back when it was brand new and available as a free sample. Dr said to try them, they were great for pain and not habit-forming. BS! (As you all and tons of other people that I have posted on the internet know, it absolutely is HIGHLY addictive!) But the drug companies love that, because then they have "customers for life". I figure in 12 years, including the times I had to pay full-price for the brand name Ultram when I didn't have insurance, I have spent over $15,000 on this ridiculous drug! It doesn't even help my pain that much any more. I take it only because I am addicted. Plain and simple.

I hope someone sues the drug company, because you KNOW they knew about this and kept it quiet so they could get their FDA approval! Folks, I'm sure most of you know this already, but the drug companies are in bed with the FDA. We can no longer rely on them to protect us! (I could go on and on with examples of this, but I'd by typing all night) Thanks again to everyone who posted and shared their story. No one I know can understand what I'm going through. I guess I should find a local support group or something. The drug company should be required to pay for our detox treatment and compensate us for our pain and suffering from these terrible withdrawal symptoms.

Any way, sorry. I get all riled up when I start talking about this. I'm about to start my taper from 200mg/day down to zero hopefully soon. Anyone have an idea of what a reasonable amount of time that might take? (Although I know everyone's body responds differently.) I'm tentatively planning to do it in about a month, but am not sure if that is realistic. Any way, best of luck to all of you! Will be thinking positive for all of us that we will get through this and be free of this sh*t! Thanks again for sharing your stories! It really does help alot to know I'm not alone!

:-)  Sherri
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