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Avatar universal

Update, moan over N+

I HATE n+. I only have them because of the codeine. I hate the iboprofen that's in them n gives me bad constipation.
But as for parents have cut off all my online contacts this is what i have to take to get codeine n I really hate it.

I feel sorry for people who only take n+ as it's horrible.

My keyworker contacted me today n we've booked a meeting for Monday. I need to check whethers thats there or at my place as I forget to ask. As far as substitute prescribing I have to wait until 10 July to see a consultant psychiatrist for that as he's fully booked that's the earliest. Frustrated but not a lot I can do.

I'm hoping this meeting with the keyworker is helpful. I really hate how they make you wait for things in this country but it's free so I am thankful n apparenyly the service is better than it used to be.

I hope she doesn't make me call myself an addict as I still have not come to terms with that. Still am unsure if I really am an addict or whether my mind is playing tricks on me.

Well i've got university tomorrow. I'm doing a masters in weight management. It's distance learning but each module has an intense 3 days taught bit. So yea somehow I got onto this course. Bit stressed being there as its full of health care professional n I'm a single mam on benefits. I will be getting some N+ :(

My mind is thinking once i'm off codeine it'll all be over n i'll have my life back. I wont be an a anymore. I hope so anyway, no offence. I want those tranquil days back of walking along the canal for hours n hours, so very lovely n peaceful. And oh so energising.

My mind is full off all these different things people are telling me - and it's chaos.

I know I shouldn't be angry at my parents. They're going out of their way to help me with this taper. And I do feel guilty lying to them n getting N+. I want to be close with them again. I shut my Dad out n really he is a good, caring, hardworking man. So is my mam. My mam seems ok then she'll go days where she won't speak to me or will be snappy n it feels a bit like she hates me. I text her about al anon n she text back saying 'i want my daughter back'. I haven't gone anywhere she's the one that goes silent on me.

Thats the latest anyway.

Evey x
17 Responses
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Avatar universal
Ok
Helpful - 0
4522800 tn?1470325834
Hi..It seems like we have been in many, many, many post here for you for many, months now..I would highly suggest you go way back to some and do look up all the web sites and the info we gave you..Then you can take a step back and just go "WOW" now I get it!! It is a Brain Disease and it takes over the survival part of the brain too!!! Some one with CANCER would say they have Cancer..Well that is what a "Addict" is a Addiction Disease that gets worse and worse in the Body & Brain..And there are many Addictions and it is narrowed down to parts of the Nero-Transmitter & the Pleasure Part of the Brain that craves more Dopamine Surges to feel good or whatever like our life depends on it. Besides messing up the others Transmitters..No one asked to have Cancer nor did we want to grow up  and become a Addict..It is a Illness..You need to quit stressing about the "Name" and except it and do something about it..It is Real!! Take some Classes or go into the Websites...
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Avatar universal
It's hard to quit and it made me stark raving mad a couple of times. It will get better. Your Mam is probably right, she wants her daughter back...we're all different on drugs and someone's Mam can see it more clearly. Keep tapering, you'll get there. We're here for you now, and you'll be glad you got off the Crazy Train of drugs. I promise.
Helpful - 0
4898964 tn?1381257899
You're not offending anyone.  It's more that we've all been there and know exactly the lies from the voice inside.  Call it frustration with the dirty little thing.

As someone mentioned too, the primary cause of constipation is from the codeine.  All meds will cause it, but opiates are the main culprit.

I know personally how trying to study and get off at the same time seems impossible.  Horrible catch 22.  How much longer do you have until your papers are finished?  
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Avatar universal
That's ok I don't mind haarsh I need that.
Not meaning to offend anyone. These questions keep going round in my head so I need to ask them.
I know it isn't the same but i had a weight problem once, decided to lose the weight - had a determinism like no other - lost nearly 5 stone in six month ;1 stone is equivelant to 14 pounds). Put a bit on n then lost another 3 stone after my child was born, 4 years ago n need to lose a bit of weight now, as I've piled it on due to all this going on with codeine.

Anyway I'm at university at moment n we're talking about behaviour modification of all things so talk later.

Evey xxx
Helpful - 0
4898964 tn?1381257899
But surely if people truly wanted to quit, they would no probs n never look back?????  

Give it a go, then come back and say that.  Not intending to be mean, I believe you need to hear some harsh reality sorry hun.
Helpful - 0
4898964 tn?1381257899
The thing is with these kind of medicines, until you go through a withdrawal people won't fess up to themselves that they are an addict.  Sometimes you need a figurative kick to the goolies to open your eyes.

Good luck Eve.  As someone mentioned, you actually have to want it so bad you're willing to go through hell to get it.  Not just that you think it'd be a good idea.
Helpful - 0
242912 tn?1660619837
"Oh n im not taking additional drugs. N+ was always part of what I took. I'd take lots of different things during the day to even it all out so I didn't run out too quick then I'd re-order n stock up when stock was low, to prevent running put."

Eve!

Honey!!

Hello!!!!
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Avatar universal
Ok x
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Sigh...I don't mean you were being rude or anything. I meant that you're still saying you're not an addict and wasting time with that line of thinking. You have to accept it and move on so you can deal with it.

The only thing I can think of to recommend is if there is a time when you haven't taken a lot of codeine and you can read some of your posts with a clear head, they might make more sense to you.
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Avatar universal
I'm sorry i wasn't meaning to argue with you. Sorry if that how it came across x
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I can't believe you're arguing about this, but does it matter what form you are taking the drug in? My point was that you're taking more than your taper dose, so you're not actually tapering.  

I think it's great you are trying to earn your degree. Obviously no one questioned that. I was questioning the drug use.

Round and round we go...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Oh n im not taking additional drugs. N+ was always part of what I took. I'd take lots of different things during the day to even it all out so I didn't run out too quick then I'd re-order n stock up when stock was low, to prevent running put.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am fine. And yes as sitting in the j
House all every day is destroying me. I want to get my masters, get a job so my child can grow up with some good values. Go for walks again, start eating healthy.
I've let everything go, put weight on. A few years ago i was exercising 6 days a week doing p90x n insanity, was nearly ripped, walked about 10 miles along the canal.  
If i don't sit this module i throw £650 down the drain because that's what it cost me. Besides I'll record the lectures on my iPad.
Why am I forgetting things I've put on here?
Evey x
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
But surely if people truly wanted to quit, they would no probs n never look back????? I
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Actually, one of the major side effects of codeine is constipation. That's very well known. That's what is causing your issues in that area.

Your post says you hate N+ but you then say that you're still sneaking it and you will take more. So again, the idea that you think you're not an addict (!)...it's just the codeine talking.

Since you have just posted today in another thread that you can't remember posting that you "don't want to wake up" (the "Feeling down" thread) or starting threads, do you really think taking additional drugs will be helpful to you in passing a class? It appears you're close to not being able to function.

I'll again also express my concern about you caring for your daughter in this condition.


Helpful - 0
1696489 tn?1370821974
Thats addiction: the wanting and needing of a substance at the sacrifice of all else.  You have to WANT and NEED to quit, with every fiber in your body and soul that you want off, RIGHT NOW.  That was rhetorical... just explaining how it usually goes.  Please do your best to do the right thing for yourself, and I will pray for your recovery.  God Bless - Blu
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