Update on my condition/and question about anxiety

[lene54]

I found this site 4 months ago when I was dealing with awful withdrawals.  I had two back surgeries and had been on 2 hydrocodone for 3 1/2 yrs. Then two pain specialist in a matter of 5 months put me on methadone, changed to morphine, increase the morphine,changed to  fentenyl patches (2 x 50 mg per day), thought I was going to die.Then suboxone for 5 weeks. Suboxone without a doubt was a huge mistake for me.  I'm sure others have success with it, but I could not handle it. Maybe if my doctor had given it to me in the correct way to deal with the withdrawal.    I had to have another back surgery,so Robert told me to take 10 mg of hydrocodone 3/4 times a day so I could have the surgery instead of the suboxone.  I went through the most awful withdrawals.  I felt like I had the flu for weeks and anxiety was unreal.  Uncontrollable crying.  I was in a world I knew nothing about.  So many of you tried to help me and I will forever be greatful.  I have only been able to go back to work in the last 3 weeks.  My anxiety was so bad I didn't want to leave home.  My doctor said the pressure in my head is from anxiety.  I guess it is because since I increasd my clonazepam, the pressure is better.  He said all the drugs have caused a chemical imblance in my body and it will take time for it to get better.  I take 50 mg of lyric in the am and by 3:00 pm I feel awful until I take another one.  My doctor said to take the anxiety medicine instead, but it doesn't help.  Did anyone have a clue why I am still dealing with these feelings after 4 months.  So many of you told me I should be better in 21 days.  Lord, how I wish this had been true.  It really interfers with my life, and I just wish I knew there was an end in sight. Any helpful hints about anxiety.    Again thanks for all your comments in the past.    

[lene54]

7 months later and I am still on hydrocodone 10mg 2 times a day for chronic back pain.  I have just been told I will have my 4th surgery  June 27th.  I had a non union on the fusion attempt.  I have had so many things to go wrong with my surgeries and with pain medications.  I was on hydrocodone for 3 and a half years and then was on about 4 different drugs for a few months.  Then back on hydrocodone and had a surgery.  My biggest question is why do I still feel so bad.  I wake up every morning and feel awful.  I have anxiety and  no energy too. I never had anxiety until I went thru the awful withdrawals from the pain medicines I was on for a few months.   I was on hydrocodone before and did not feel this way.  Will it ever end?  I don't know what will help.  I'm very nervous about having yet another surgery, but I think it is necessary.  Has anyone else felt the way I'm still feeling?  Anyone have any ideas why I'm still experiencing these feeling? My doctor tells me it's anxiety. I find it hard to believe that's all it is.  

[lene54]

Thanks for your comments.  

[abritt121222]

Well I'm sorry to hear about this but congrats on staying clean for four months that's awesome. Your doc is right about the chemical imbalance and all of that to because the narcotics to cause changes in our brain when taken over a long period of time. It could very well be something that has just changed while you were on narcotics that you need to be treated for also I'm not a doctor tho so I can't say yes or no. Have you seen another doctor just to get another opinion about this because it sounds alot like the same thing I went through and turned out my anxiety was being cause by depression and my doctor put me on something I can't remember what it was but I was on it for 5-6 months and went through a lot of my recovery on it and came off and since I have been fine. That could also be something to do with it is recovery. A lot of ppl mistake getting clean as being the end of addiction but recovery after getting clean is a HUGE PART of staying sober. Have you been doing any kind of recovery steps of did you get clean and just kinda go on with your life and try to put the addiction behind you?? I ask because and this is not meant to sound negative or anything but once and addict always an addict. A person can be clean for 30 years but they are still an addict because once we become an addict even tho we may be clean for 30 years we are one breathe away from being right back into active addiction because we obviously have that addictive gene that will be with us our entire life and there is no getting rid of it. The recovery process and aftercare is what teaches us how to deal with things we used to deal with by using and can take alot of that anxiety away that comes after getting clean because a lot of us addicts stress a lot more about small things because now we actually have to deal with the problems and not just use to forget them like we have become so used to.

Good Luck and Godspeed
ABritt