Vicoden Cravings

[Shea]

Hi all,

I desperatly need some advise.I have been clean from the Vicodens for about 5 weeks. I don't seem though to be to the point some of you are, like WW where you are really feeling good. But then I never felt as though they were hindering me. I functioned GREAt on them. I was energetic and fun to be around. And I didn't feel numb, actually I felt more passionate about everything when using Vics. So I can't look back on anything negative about how it made me feel. But I can look back on how ashamed I felt by the lying to so may doctors to obtain them. Anyhow, I did start feeling better when I started using Thomas's Recipe although I still had the cravings. So..here is my question and please I GREATLY appreciate your replys. The last few days I have seemed to revert. I am constantly tired and fatigued. And the cravings are incredible. That is all I think about. I don't think I will relapse but it is hard to fight. I am just not sure why I feel like I have taken 10 steps backwards. Is this too post acute withdrawls? Thank you for all your help and support.
I hope and Pray you are all strong in this time of national turmoil.

Shea

[sparkle770]

Iv been taking vicoden for 2 yrs .2 a day.I cant get them anymore .Im anxious.I tried finding someone  to get get them from theres none around.Your probably thinking 2 a day is nothing.Its my pick me up happy pill.Will I go through withndraw?????

[hateaddiction]

I am an addict also.... I have 2 shattered discs in my back and started by being prescribed 50 vicoden every 12 days. It went on for over a year and i then started buying percs or vics off the street. One day I broke down and told my brother to whom I am VERY close with. I took a trip and was gone for a wk going thru withdrawals at a friends house away from home. I was fine for about 2 wks. Then I was around them constantly at my job and well, I broke down and took one. I am no where near where I was before which I think is due to the withdrawal scare I went thru prior.....BUT I am still taking 2-6 500mg vics a day. That may not seem like a lot to some out there, but to me it equals FAILURE. I loved the comment above about not beating yourself up because I have. Really bad. I have thought myself to be the worst person ever BUT I guess reality check....everyone makes mistakes and I am still trying to figure out a way to overcome this addiction.... I have never heard of a detox formula so I am truly thankful that this was mentioned above and am going to read up on it to see if it's something that will help me..... Question: Does anyone know if the methadone clinic is a good idea or a bad idea?  Thanks-TT

[Philip1815]

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[silent bob]

To My brothers and sister fighting for your lives:

  I am an addict that is recovering and I am in my sixth month.
I have lost almost everything I have "earned" in my life. My wife, most of my possesions and my pride. There is an old saying that states once you have lied to yourself it is easy to lie to anyone. Ever since I was a young man of around 18 I was in some form or another addicted to pain pills. It started with a broken ankle and went to imaginary tooth aches and whatever I could say or do to get my medication.  I got away with it because I was smart, that is, I was educated, in the field of medicine and chemistry. Therefore, when I was doctor shopping I would be a doctor in town and most of the time I would have a prescription. All of the pharmacists would know me and I wold blame them for giving me looks, however, It was my fault.  My drug of choice was vicoden, or percocet and later on I added Valium to the mix. That part of my life was horrible and there are many nights I lie awake and remember what it was like. I cry myself to sleep and I never want to go back to where  I was.  The thing you all must remember is if you take the effort you used to get the medication and put that effort into quitting you have won half the battle. Find faith in something. Because you have obviuosly lost all hope or faith in yourself, Find a higher power. Now I am not saying enter a program, however, you must have support somewhere. If you can trust your doc, you must ask yourself another question. If he believes you are hurt why is it wrong to take the medicine. Your addiction will give up and take what he gives you. I tried that route too, I would say to the doc, i am addicted, his response was No your not you don't take enough. WRONG I take 20 valium a day and 20-25 10 mg vicoden.  I went through hell coming off my med's but I used my faith and did it! It was the hardest thing I have done, other then seeing what my parents have had to go through for years seeing me strung out on Vicoden. Also, be careful of ultram.  If you take too many of these in order to try to sustitute them for opiates, you could have a seizure. That is no fun!  Oh yes I was there.  I was diagnosed with adult onset Epilepsy and went from that to as much vicoden and xanax my little heart desired.  The bottomline is be strong and just take one step, one day at a time. May god be with everyone

Silent bob

[silent bob]

To My brothers and sister fighting for your lives:

  I am an addict that is recovering and I am in my sixth month.
I have lost almost everything I have "earned" in my life. My wife, most of my possesions and my pride. There is an old saying that states once you have lied to yourself it is easy to lie to anyone. Ever since I was a young man of around 18 I was in some form or another addicted to pain pills. It started with a broken ankle and went to imaginary tooth aches and whatever I could say or do to get my medication.  I got away with it because I was smart, that is, I was educated, in the field of medicine and chemistry. Therefore, when I was doctor shopping I would be a doctor in town and most of the time I would have a prescription. All of the pharmacists would know me and I wold blame them for giving me looks, however, It was my fault.  My drug of choice was vicoden, or percocet and later on I added Valium to the mix. That part of my life was horrible and there are many nights I lie awake and remember what it was like. I cry myself to sleep and I never want to go back to where  I was.  The thing you all must remember is if you take the effort you used to get the medication and put that effort into quitting you have won half the battle. Find faith in something. Because you have obviuosly lost all hope or faith in yourself, Find a higher power. Now I am not saying enter a program, however, you must have support somewhere. If you can trust your doc, you must ask yourself another question. If he believes you are hurt why is it wrong to take the medicine. Your addiction will give up and take what he gives you. I tried that route too, I would say to the doc, i am addicted, his response was No your not you don't take enough. WRONG I take 20 valium a day and 20-25 10 mg vicoden.  I went through hell coming off my med's but I used my faith and did it! It was the hardest thing I have done, other then seeing what my parents have had to go through for years seeing me strung out on Vicoden. Also, be careful of ultram.  If you take too many of these in order to try to sustitute them for opiates, you could have a seizure. That is no fun!  Oh yes I was there.  I was diagnosed with adult onset Epilepsy and went from that to as much vicoden and xanax my little heart desired.  The bottomline is be strong and just take one step, one day at a time. May god be with everyone

Silent bob

[skipper]

bugslifew:
welcome to the forum! there is always room for one more addict, so
come on in!

if i may sugest, post closer to the top. it is easy to get over-
looked in the basement. just pick a place close to the most current
posting and jump on in!

keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

[bugslifew]

Hello everyone..Well I fianlly got  the courage to write to u all. I was addicted to vicodens, for the last 3 years...not straight through but on and off...when i was pregnant i obviously didn't take them. after having my baby i became depressed and was taking percocet, but they ran out...so i had access to vic's and took around 15/5mgs a day!!
finally, someone in my life noticed them missing from their cabinet, that's when i admitted to taking them, and admitted to having a problem. I never thought it was bad, cause it was from a doctor, but i found out it was a narcotic....i was so glad to talk to my family about my problem, then i did "Thomas's detox" and since then have stayed off of them. I am thinking clearly, and have turned to God and Spirituality through all of this, and I have been fine. I still have my off days, but who doesn't, i just put in my head that i don't need a pill to make the bad day go away, i just look at my child, or read, or go out, anotherwords, i try to occupy my time.
this site has helped me tremendously, thank u soo much, the detox recipe was so helpful..i still take the vitamins every other day.
thanks

[SHOTSY]

I don't know the answer to your question, sorry. But post closer to the top. You are way down on this ladder and could get over looked. Someone will have the answer you need. Bye

[Wiseone111]

Hi there everyone. I have been reading these messages for aboutthe last two months. And I finally took the leap and I am in the process of getting off of Lortab(Hydrocodone) addiction.
It has been almost a week sinve my last full day on the pills. A week ago today i was taking 6-8 pills a day sometimes more. The wednesday following that i broke down and took 1-1/2. Since wednesday I have not taken anything except the vitamins, vallium, and stuff listed in Thomas' recipe. My question is this.
How long does it take for the weird feeling in my stomach and the cold sweats to go away. I really feel like i am almost over the hump here. Would just be nice to havean indication of about how long i hace left.

thanks,
-W

[big A]

Hey man I think that everybody here at one point or another has took that "one last one", if you know what i mean. Just keep in mind the road your travling now will get better if you stay the course, stay the course! When I went thru detox from the massive amounts of oxy's, (6-80mgs a day)mr. doctor in hospital put me on, i am only telling what worked for me, this may not work or be safe for you but here it is
1.)phenabarbitol(spelling?)
2.)catapress,(clonidine)
3.)visteril,
4.)imodium for stomach,
this is really, REALLY tried and tested.
about a weeks supply.will do it. catapress is a old blood pressure med

if you can find a few of these it will be about 5-7 days, of feeling really bad but at least you can handle it, the worst thing for me was the stomach cramps, BLESS YOU ALL

Big A

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

This isn't in any way being meant as critical to you, but....I wish I had a dollar for every time I just wanted to get high one more time.  My intentions were always good for the next day, but that day never came as long as I had drugs in my possession.

Anyway, I was just musing about your above posting and relating to it.  So many posts have been deleted here lately it's hard to follow what is going on.  

Hope you can make things work for yourself.  J.B.

[BRADD]

Hi Big A, thanks for the reply.  I took that last oxy 80mg today, ( the one I saved ) along with a few lortabs.  I know, I know, thats bad. I just wanted to get High " one more time " I'll continue my tapering with my lortabs tomorrow, and hopefully quit taking pain killers forever.  Well, thats my goal anyway.  Ill talk to you all tomorrow..  Have to get up early for work..  Tomorrow will be A better day.  Brad

[butterbean]

Thanks, WW.  I am going to go out and get all this stuff.  Also, I wanted to say that I never go to different doctors or try to find these meds anywhere.  I have taken more at times than I was supposed to though, and I just make myself go through the withdrawal, because I don't want to become more dependent than I already am.  I had to come home today early as my back and legs are hurting so bad, just from wearing a shoe with a little heel on it yesterday.  These are the times when i feel like I should stay on the vics and just make myself take them when I absolutely have to.  I think I can do it!  I may try.  One thing I wanted to tell you is that when i first start taking them again after I withdraw, I get awful migraines and I throw up for 5 days until they get back in my system.  I don't know why, but, after that, I am fine and my body doesn't reject them.  I am glad you will be going back to work soon.  I also have never taken any illegal drugs, and never thought of this as an addiction until I started taking too many.  Hey, the doc perscribed the!!!!  But, i know I either take the right amount, or I go off completely.  I will let you know.  Good luck with your back.

[Witchywoman]

Butterbean, here is a repost of Thomas's detox recipe. It helps a lot.  We've since added 5 HTP to it...it helps with the depression part.  Take 50mgs twice a day of the 5 HTP. You can safely take 100 mgs 3 times a day, but find the lowest dose that works for you.

so..onto the repost: (this was a post Thomas wrote to a poster named Broken a few weeks ago):

It sounds like you're in the classic vice: you have chronic pain for which you need narcotic painkillers but you're also addicted to your source of pain relief and can't stick to a strictly therapeutic dose. I was in the same situation when I blew a disk out in my back. My orthopedic surgeon couldn't understand why I needed so many vic es'. What he didn't know was that I was getting them from two other doctors AND and I was calling in my own scripts at the same time -- that's how bad my habit was. I can tell you this: after you've detoxed from the vics (or Lortabs, same thing), if you can stick to a normal dose of the stuff, you will get relatively normal pain relief from them. I know it's hard to believe, but it's true. The greatest challenge is sticking to that prescribed dose. After detoxing, you'll want to "reward" yourself by taking a big dose "just this once." Of course, once you do this, you're right back in the **** again and might as well have never detoxed at all.

For what it's worth, I'm going to re-print my cold turkey detox recipe for Lortabs (yes, with the right combo of drugs and non-drug therapies, you can detox yourself from this drug). I know, because I developed this formula in order to detox myself from a seventy-five (yes, 75) vicodin per day habit. So, here it is. If you're going to do it, follow it to the letter or it won't work. The one rx drug you'll need to make it really work is some kind of benzo like valium, klonopin, librium, xanax, ativan, etc. So, if you have any relatives that can help you out with one of these drugs (or a doctor, of course) the benzos wll help make the results much more successful ... but if you can't, the recipe can still work ...

Here's my tried-and-true do-it-yourself "cold turkey" detox protocol.

Supplies you'll need first:

As many Valium, Xanax, Librium, Ativan or Klonopin as you can get your hands on.

--- first day off the opiate, use enough Valium or whatever, to, if possible, sleep through most of the first couple days. Then start decreasing the dose until you're down to nothing in about 5 or 6 days. You'll have to do the math. The Valium or one of its sister drugs will help tremendously with the anxiety and, somewhat, with the body aches. Valium may make you eat like a pig and, when withdrawing from narcotics, one usually craves sweets, so I'd be ready to indulge myself with lots of treats, along with some good escapist movies to take your mind off of evrything. That always worked for me.

VERY IMPORTAT: Around-the-clock access to either hot baths or a Jacuzzi.

--speaking of those goddamn thigh cramps that seem to love to show up in the middle of the night, have that hot bath or Jacuzzi at the ready. Don't hesitate to spend the majority of the week in that hot water if that's what it takes to get you through it. You may be wrinkled, but you'll have your sanity. Don't underestimate what the hot baths can do to relieve the withdrawal discomfort. They really, really work. Heating pads between the thighs can help with those cramps, too, but not nearly as much as the hot baths.

Brand-name-only Imodium (over the counter at the supermarket. Don't ak me why, but the brand name just works better.)

-- if you're a normal Lortab/Vicodin addict, you'll be getting the runs by no later than the second or third day off the lortab. In my experience, it's an especially unpleasant variety. At the first impulse, take two or three Imodium and respond to returning urges with two tabs. It's important that you do it at the slightest rumbling from your guts. Immodium is also an opioid class drug and, even though it's action is mostly confined to that part of the brain that affects bowel motility, I noticed a slight relief from the overall withdrawal feeling when I took the Imodium -- just don't overdose on the stuff thinking it will relieve all the withdrawal symptoms - it won't - it will just constipate the hell out of you at very high doses. Stick to the dosages I recommended.


Now, this is very important to short- and long-term reovery - I can't emphasize this one enough:
L-Tyrosine [NOT L-Lysine] (qty 50 of the 500mg caps) - an amino acid freely available at the health food store. Costs about 12 bucks a bottle.

WHY?
Chronic use of narcotics depletes the brain of several critical neurotransmitters responsible for well-being and mental performance and attitude.
Plus:
Bottle of 100 mg B6 caps (the B6 helps the L-Tyrosine be absorbed)
Plus, high-potency magnesium and zinc suplements. You may have to buy each in separate pills.

My experience detoxing with L-Tyrosine says take 4000 (four thousand) mg. (8x500mg caps of L-Tyrosine) with two 100mg B6 caps along with your zinc/magnesium supplement every day for your "detox week" to provide your brain with the raw material it needs to replenish its stores of these neurotransmitters. Many feel the difference on the very first dose. (I did, big time!!) ***Take it on an empty stomach, either first thing in the morning or at bedtime. You can continue this regimen after the first week if it continues to make you feel good. I continue to use L-Tyrosine every other day with very few exceptions, although now I cut my dose to 1500 mg of L-Tyrosine. I cut down on the dosage beause it can cause the runs at high doses. But for your first week, you need the high dose of L-Tyrosine and should just put up with the runs. It only happens once after each dose (if it happens at all) and it's not the "buring runs" that you get from withdrawal. It also happens within the first hour and won't return, so it's something you can plan on. Also, the Imodium justight cancel out the runs, anyway. So, it's livable at least for that first week. Besides, the L-Tyrosine will make you feel so damn good so quickly, you won't care! You'll be looking forward to your morning L-Tyrosine dose, believe me! L-Tyrosine will make you feel alert without being nervous, peaceful without feeling sedated, and just generally GOOD, despite the withdrawal. It's truly THE discovery of opiate withdrawal therapy.

Multi-vitamins (most junkies don't eat too well, so this one's just for good sense).

Acording to some literature, you also need to add copper, phosphorus and Vitamin C to fully complete the dopamine, norepinephrine converson. You might have to do some hunting at the health food store to find the right vitamin or vitamins to supply all this stuff. Health food stores generally care multis that, instead of carrying every vitamin known to an, carry instead all the "metals" we need such as copper, Magnesium, zince, phosporous,etc. I esily found a multiple that contained large doses of zince, magnesium, copper, vitmamin C and lots of other things for very little money. In any event, I got a VERY good result from just the L-Tyrosine and B6 alone. Don't let any difficulty finding the whole laundy list of minerals and metals stop you fro using the L-Tyrosine and B6 -- it works like gangbusters anyway!

By the way, the zinc and magnesium tip was supplied by a contributor to this site called "pillpoppa" who cliamed it was the magic formula for recovering from long-term methadone use, so it sounds like an important part of the fromula for you in particular. Even though I never used methadone, I was using this multiple with large doses of zinc and magnesium (without realizing it) and, at first, I couldn't figure out why I felt so good so quickly after stopping the Lortabs. The I realized I was getting all that zinc and mag with my multiple! Pillpoppa's formula really does work, my friend. So, don't skip any of the instructions I've given you here. Add it up, and it doesn't cost as much as a visit to the doc for a big fat Lortab rx! Remember: all the details of my recipe are necessary to complete recovery. Then, just will yourself to stick as close to the prescribed dose as you can for your pain and, hopefully, you're home free!

WARNING: Avoid L-Tyrosine if you're on an SSRI (serotonin reuptake inhibitor) such as Prozac, Effexor, Paxil, all those kinds of psychiatric mood elevators, etc.

Remember, despite what the goaddamn doc might like you to believe, you haven't done anything wrong. You're a normal, decent human being who's fallen into the trap these modern medications have set for us all. You're not alone, Broken, and will never be alone as long as you come to this site. Believe me, we've ALL been where your at. We understand you and accept you and will support you through your trials. Lean on us if it helps. That's what we're here for.


Your friend,

Thomas

[butterbean]

Hi WW.  I was wondering, yu said you worked in the mental health field. Did they find out about your addiction and you are still able to work or do you see therapist elsewhere?  My fear is that records can be seen by just about anyone who works in the field and offices and some people are just not confidential.  I have considered seeking counseling , but, I too work in the field.  It has been almost 12 days now and I am clean, but, I am having bad pain in legs and back.  I don't really know if I should totally stop the meds or what.  Does anyone have an answer for me.  I would appreciate all the help I can get.  And also, what is the recipe that Tom gives that you use when you are withdrawing.  Thanks everyone.

[Witchywoman]

Hi Butterbean,
No, there was no way my work could find out about my addiction.  I actually do very well at my job, have a lot of responsibility and seem to be fairly respected.  I have been off work for a few months recovering from my surgery, and am scheduled (finally!) to go back to work in a week. I'm looking forward to it.

I do see a therapist, in private practice. No one has access to counseling records unless you sign a consent form aggreeing to have your records disclosed. If someone breaks confidentiality, they can loose their license. It is considered an extremely serious breach of ethics.
Personally, therapy is extremely important to me and very helpful in keeping me honest and growing.

Glad to see you posting again butterbean! I've been wondering how you were doing.

love,
WW

[big A]

I rebelled with the best of them, and i am still suffering, my dad was a respect freak, see ya. Big A

[cindi]

My dad is also a retired police officer and I know plenty of people with dad's that are or were cops and most of these kids are either actively using or in recovery...sometimes the sops are as well,,,,I know it's a high stress job but what about the kids?   I know I was the first to try anything  as soon as the kids would start teasing me about my dad being a cop I had to prove to them that I could do what they did....I was no different...do you think we rebell?  i dunno just a thought     love to all   cin

[big A]

Hey bud, I have been looking at this forum everyday for the last seven months, it is really a great place to be loved, and honest with yourself.I have looked at every single entry made here, and see nothing but caring people. May GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!! My D.O.C. was oxy, I was on 6 80's a day, and dextamathorphan, (spelling?) for opiate booster. I just want you to know that I am the son of a retired police officer, and i just wanted you to know that you can do it, we are all on your side, I've been clean for over 6 mos, and praying every day to stay clean,and thomas keep up the god work!!!!!!!

[cindi]

The first time I was in trouble they had a hard time with the amount of drugs i was using...not understanding my tolderance was astronomical they tried to get me for trafficking....i told thme I was much to stingy with my drugs to sell them...I needed them for me..pissed them off even more..they wanted me bad for trafficking....that would have definately meant my nursing license....which I still have....the second time I was caught it was for a minimal amount but the laws changed and I had to be turned over to the big guys immediately....DEA etc..they in turn came after me with both barrels cuz they weren't involved the first time around  the first time the hospital was under no obligation to turn me over to anyone  they handled it on their own  unless I didn't cooperate...so....the grand jury indicted me, put me on the news and I made headlines   so humiliating and degrading....i was at the end of my rope.....thank God for understanding judges...and my mom God rest her soul.....my husband was very supportive and pissed that they humiliated me like they did....they don't even do that to the rapists and murderers around here....but give them a nurse or doc with a problem  they run with it...my daughter was 18 months old and does not remember when the nice policeman came to my house,,,they were very nice and took me quitely no handcuffs...they were really bothered by the fact that they had to do this when it seemed to small....a few pills...but yet it was a felony...then they had to turn me over to the other police department..I was arrested in a little city but worked in a bigger city..right next to each other..that is when they met at a gas station cuffed me and there i went....the one cop knew my dad and said he would help me make bail..which i did...it was awful....i had a old drunk next to me in this room throwing up everywhere oh my God what a disaterous night....sorry to ramble like this...but i am concerned about you and your nurse friend.Bradd, if she gets busted she is in some serious trouble....and she is not even using or is she?  please be careful.....if you need to talk or anything you can email me at ***@****   take care   love to all        cindi

[butterbean]

Hi Bradd, no I didn't get that name any particular place, just made it up to use on this forum.  Hope everyone is doing well.  I have been off all meds for 10 days now, but, don't know if I can stay off as my pain is bad now. I am going to try to stay off or cut back.  Good luck to you Bradd!  To you and to WW , I am not in any program, afraid to do that as I have to think about my career.  I function very well on the meds anyways, except when I go through withdrawal when I have taken more than the persribed dosage.  I am alone, divorced, so I really have no support to help me with this.  Doing it alone, but, I can do it!  I know I can!  Take care.
Butterbean

[BRADD]

Hi Cindi, nursing must be a hard profession for people like us.  Ive gotten lots of pain pills from a nurse friend of mine.  Hope she never gets busted.  I never tried a 12 step program.  I guess I need to.  How awful it must have been for you to get arrested.  My best friend, ( a police officer ) Was just arrested for possession for sales of anabolic steroids. ( could get 4 years in prison ) He doesnt even sell steroids, he just uses them.  Loosing your career can cause great stress.  Anyway, thanks for replying to my post.  I love this forum.  That danny-guy or whatever his name is ( the one so critical of Thomas ) is a moron if he doesnt  think this forum helps people. Based on his statements, I would doubt that  he is any kind of professional.  Thank you all for being there and letting me know Im not the only functional addict in the world.  brad

[susanlea]

Yes...you can abuse the patch.  It's not even difficult to do.  When my ex came by a few months ago he asked me for pills.  I said sorry guy,  I nolonger take them, I use the patch instead.  He sat on the couch reading the insert.  I went to the bathroom before he left.  The next day I went to change my patch, and 3 were gone.  I decided to read the insert myself.  I know what he did, and I am sure he had one hell of a high.  I guess if an addict needs the buzz, they will find a way to abuse anything.  All I know is it helps me tremendously, I don't have to take the oxy's anymore.  I stopped them after over 2 years.  No withdrawals at all.  Just stopped, but of course I swallowed my pills, never chewed or snorted, and usually took less than perscribed.  I feel much safer on the patch, and I never ever....you know Gianna.....Love you all....Susan

[Witchywoman]

Hi Brad,
Of course we care...I was wondering how you were doing.

Don't be too hard on yourself, just keep your eyes on the goal of eventual freedom.

We are here for you anytime, no matter what.

love,
WW