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Vicodin withdrawal or Post Partum Depression

Please help me figure this out... I am 8 days clean off 8-10 (10mg/325). I have been abusing it off and on for 4 years. I have a 5 month old special needs daughter. I was taking the vicodin to help cope caring for her. She is extremely high maintenance. We have had a horrible time with her in and out of the hospital, DCFS investigations because of an unnoticed broken bone. All extremely stressful, financial trouble. Over the last few months, I have not been able to eat and I vomit when I am stressed out taking care of her. Well, last Monday I woke up and said I had enough. I still had vicodin available to me but I told my family I couldn't do it anymore. I went to the ER and explained my symptoms. Explained that I was addicted to vicodin, stress, post partum issues. After they loaded me with adavin, they convinced me to commit myself to the psych ward. I did, I was told It was a regular hospital unit and I would be able to rest. Anyway, I met with the psych in the am and he said that I didn't need to be there. Said I would have another bad 48 hours of withdrawal and he prescribed Klonopin for anxitey and said to follow up in his office. . I am already taking 20mg of Lexapro. I went home and rested for a few days. When I take the Klonopin at night, I have horrible thoughts ( I picture the baby dead, not that I want to hurt her but I have visions ) When I take the Klonopin during the day as prescribed I fall asleep immediately. Now, being in that unit it seems like EVERYONE was prescribed Klonopin. I still can't sleep at night and have horrible runs and upset stomach. I am committed to recovery but every dr. I talked to my OB/GYN, counselor and psych all said to continue the meds as prescribed and give them a chance to work. I HIGHLY disagree but want to follow drs. orders. I still don't trust myself with my little girl. I have told my whole entire family about my addiction and my husbands family. I have asked that I am not alone with her for the next few weeks b/c I have horrible anxiety when my husband leaves for work.

Here are my questions if you would be so kind to help me...
1. Is this addiction or post partum depression?
2. Should I continue to take the Klonopin (.5mg and I split it unto fours - told to take at 8am and 2pm)
3. Is it possible that I feel so ****** from the withdrawals that I just don't want to be around my daughter?
4. Any help for the runs? I tried immodium, pepto, bananas
5. Any cure for night sweats?

Thanks for much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Avatar universal
I think it sounds like a little of both. I am almost 12 weeks clean from a 17 month hydrocodone addiction. I have three young children and while withdrawling I had horrible thoughts of what if I would hurt one of them. I know that I never would,but thinking that way really scared me. I have also felt like I am going insane from the anxiety. Addiction can do really crazy things to your mind as I have found out. I wish you the best of luck.
Helpful - 0
960021 tn?1270662682
In all honesty, it sounds like you have a little bit of both going on right now. Post partum and WD can go hand in hand -- but it sounds like what you're going through is a bit of WD and a bit of anxiety from having to go through what you are currently. I hope that I can assist you a little by answering your questions the best I know, so here goes:

1. Is this addiction or post partum depression?

--  It sounds like a little bit of both,

2. Should I continue to take the Klonopin (.5mg and I split it unto fours - told to take at 8am and 2pm)

-- If this is what the doctor says you should take, then I would continue with it long enough to give it a chance to work like all of your doctors have been telling you. If it becomes THAT big of an issue for you, then I would speak to your doctor and let them know how it's effecting you.

3. Is it possible that I feel so ****** from the withdrawals that I just don't want to be around my daughter?

--  This is a possibility, but only you can answer this for yourself. IF you are indeed going through WDs, then there's a good chance that you don't feel like dealing with a lot of the wear and tear of emotions that come along with being around your daughter. Try your hardest to focus on the fact that your little girl needs you right now, though.

4. Any help for the runs? I tried immodium, pepto, bananas.

--  Runs come with the territory of going through WDs, and there's not much that you can do about it. At least I wasn't able to find that "miracle cure" that I was in search of when I had the runs -- it's different for everyone, but keep pushing forward!

5. Any cure for night sweats?

--  I couldn't find one!
Helpful - 0
647137 tn?1299266391
It sounds like Post Partum and a little bit of w/d's. I don't think your clear from w/d's after 8 days. Your going to probably still feel fatigue and some anxiety. Having a special needs child is tuff. My sister was born with cerebral palsy and it was tuff for my parents they went through a lot. She was an amazing person and it brought my family closer.

The sweats and runs could be due to the anxiety and nervousness. I have 2 children my oldest is ten. Until he was 1 I had thoughts that I was going to hurt him even though I would NEVER do such a thing, my husband worked a block away and I would grab my son scared and show up at his work. I never took any drugs before this so it was definitely post Partum. I would never hurt anyone and all these crazy visions would come into my head. I wouldn't near sharp things. It was the scariest thing Ive ever experienced. You should, you NEED to talk to someone. They have forums online for Post Partum. YOu will feel better I promise. I had another boy 2 years ago and everything was fine. After my first turned a year I never had a scary thought like that again, but i had to tell the ppl I love and talk about it a lot to get through it.

I hope this helps!

Good Luck!
Helpful - 0
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