333612 tn?1302883390

WD's and a very small fifth-wheel camper


Greetings!! So, my back has been doing better since I last checked in 2 weeks ago. I've been in the 'field' working. It was an unexpected field trip so I didn't get a chance to check in with everyone before I disappeared. Long story short: I hurt my back pretty bad-was on pain meds for a time-was NOT abusing them but did become physically dependent (I was on them for about 2.5 to 3 weeks). Anyway-I was getting ready to just go CT since I had weened myself down to only using the opiate pain meds in the PM -but with my unexpected call to duty I ended up in a VERY small 5th wheel trailer with another biologist (who is also a friend) while going through WD's. We were in the middle of no where---collecting data from a DIDSON camera (it uses sonar to show you images) about steelhead movements at a fish trap in the middle of nowhere. We had a generator for power but no cell coverage, no TV, no radio (we did have our laptops with our iTunes so it was not so bad in the music department), no shower etc.
So-it wasn't totally roughing it, but it was fairly miserable for someone going through WD's. Plus we had to keep an eye on the video images we were collecting 24 hours a day. So-one of us would sleep while the other watched the screen and adjusted the camera etc. Needless to say, with the WD's I couldn't sleep so I volunteered to do the night watch. It was SO hard to concentrate. I came clean (no pun intended) with my buddy I was working with. He was totally cool and supportive which made things a little easier. The chills and the sweats plus the RLS were sheer hell-especially because I was stuck sitting in front of a monitor and couldn't get up and pace-plus the 'night sweats' (which happened 24 hours a day) really sucked because I was in a VERY small 5th wheel with no shower. We were out there for 3-4 days at a time and then got to come into civilization to get a shower and hot meal and then back to the grind.
My mood is still so low. I feel completely drained.
I really hate opiates.
I hate addiction.
I hate the dr. who first prescribed these demon pills to me so many years ago.
I hate the pharmacy that filled my first pain med script.
I hate this awful anxiety that is hanging on.
sigh.....I'm just venting. The only thing that kept me going was the thought of everyone here on the forum. I really, really can't stand the idea of disappointing all of my friends here.
I know this terrible 'low' feeling will go away-goodness knows I've been here before-but this time around I wasn't abusing the pills. Which adds insult to injury.
Anyway-enough whining I guess.  I hope everyone is doing well. I'm waiting for the RLS to completely go away and for my sleep to return to normal. I'm going to be around my computer for a couple of days before I ship out again. Any suggestions as to what he heck I can do for RLS, sleeplessness and anxiety while trying to work out of a VERY small 5th wheel trailer in the middle of nowhere? Going for a long walk is out--Cougars and Bears (I'm not joking).
I should know the answer to my own question..it's just hard to think straight right now.
I miss you guys and look forward to the day when I can come back on a consisten basis!
Stay strong,
6 Responses
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350867 tn?1208242009
Glad to see you're still hanging in there!  I made it through.  No longer have ANY cravings for them.  And am in awe looking back at the amount of time I spent with those pills in my life.  I enjoy everything so much more now.  I guess you already know what to expect exactly.  I just wanted to let you know that I'm here and happy to see you're still GREAT!  You really help support me when I needed it. _Rebel
Helpful - 0
333612 tn?1302883390
Thank you for the kind words-long time no talk  :-)  I feel GREAT now that I've heard from you. I'm actually getting kind of sleepy and am thinking I might actually be able to catch some shuteye if I don't over think it.
I'm so happy you are past the cravings! Congrats to you. You've got to have a few months under your belt now. Wow!! It is amazing how much time of our life we p*ssed away with these stupid little pills. Grrrr........If I only knew then what I know now.
I can honestly say that I don't crave the pills anymore either. I loathe the pills actually. Keep your fingers crossed that I don't hurt myself again and have to go back on pain meds. I'm sure glad I have this place to come to though.....I need you guys.
Keep on keeping on Rebel
and don't be a stranger-Like I said-it was really nice to hear from you.
Stay strong,
Helpful - 0
306455 tn?1288862071
So good to hear from you and glad your back is better, but really sorry your having to go thru w/d again.  Have you tried Hylands Restful Legs  OR  Hylands Leg Cramps with Quinine for the RLS? Works pretty good.
Your job sounds so interesting....yet not, if that makes any sence. lol  Where are you doing this research that your out with the bears and cougars?
Hang in there, you can get thru this. We're pulling for you.
Take care,
Helpful - 0
401095 tn?1351391770
Thinking of you and glad you dropped in....wow...sounds exciting but now a great comfy way to go thru WDs...it is good u cam clean with your co-worker...support helps instead of him/her wondering what is wrong with you this whole time!  I am sure it made it more peaceful/if possible/for you....i remember when u helped me when I first came to the forum....u can do this and get back with us soon
Helpful - 0
356054 tn?1218552475
You do know the answers to your questions but I totally understand where your coming from. Try to get some bananas and multi vitamins. Drink lots of water and if possible get something for the anxiety. The anxiety is what led me to relapse. My hats of to you for going through this again and getting clean. I don't know if you can do this while working but crossword puzzles,books or anything that can keep your mind busy without straining it will help pass the time as you go through this. Good luck Greebs
Helpful - 0
199177 tn?1490498534
greeeeeeeeeeeeeebbbs ya know I luv ya :)
Helpful - 0
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