WHY CAN'T I STOP

[HottRodd]

I use to only take 1 or 2 Lortab every other day. Now, I am up to 13-18 a day. I like the energy feeling. I am in NO pain whatsoever. I get a script from the doctor and I run out after 4 or 5 days sometimes 3. I am so tired of praying at night that I don't overdose....how in the hell did I get like this?? why did I let it go this far?? I am losing weight because of it, I find myself arguing with my boyfriend about me taking pills. and I lie to him about how many I take. No one knows I take that many except the people on this forum. I am scared of dying. I have struggled with panic attacks since 1998 and NEVER even took a pain pill until 2011, and even then, I wasn't in any pain. Just wanted to see how/why my mom takes them. But she's the one that really needs them. She lives with all over body pain everyday. But she takes about 10 a day as well. 2 Addicts in 1 house. I see her go through withdrawls & it scares me. I don't want to go through that. I do not work, so I am at home all day. But I do have a 5 year old daughter that I have to take care of. My living situation is STRESSFUL !!!! Everything is in my life. Is that why I take them ??  PLEASE HELP....QUESTIONS...COMMENTS....OPINIONS....YELLING....ANYTHING, JUST HELP  

[ROSYouralright]

Are you going to taper or go CT???

[Sonrissa]

Hey Hottrodd! You can stop. But you have to really want it. More than you want anything else. You do seem to recognize what is going to happen if you don't stop. So, what's the hold up? :)  it's time to set the date, and let's get this thing done. You will have tons of advice and support here. You can do this girl. You have a daughter that needs her mom! What do you think? Are you ready??

[ariley13]

Hi Hotrod! You continue using because you are an addict. Plain and simple. Your (all of our) brain is hardwired differently than 'normal' people. I struggled for years and years with alcohol and almost drank myself to death. I quit drinking almost 3 years ago (by far the hardest thing I've ever done!) and then got into a horrible accident and have been suffering from severe pain ever since. I started on Norcos and quickly built up a tolerance. I never abused them, but really I feel it was probably only a matter of time because I am an addict. I quit those a little over 9 months ago and feel pretty darn good. You have to do this. For you and your daughter. You are worth it and deserve to live a long, healthy, and happy life. You need to get honest with yourself and your loved ones that way you can get the support you need and have someone to hold you accountable. You also need to cut your sources for the pills. If we don't do this as addicts, we will find ourselves in a weak, or stressful moment and it will be right back to it. You also need to find some sort of aftercare. Everyone is different and use different things, but it's important to work on your recovery daily and find new and healthy coping skills for life. Please stick around this site and keep posting. It's a great place to get support, advice, and encouragement. I'm so glad you are here,and that you took the first step in getting well. Please take care and keep your head up.

[stilltrying1965]

Hi i was a heroin addict for 14yrs. I had to stop it was killing me. its true if i did not stop id be dead now. You need to stop taking the pills it does not matter what drug you are seing. You have a drg habit. But im 1141 days clean and if i get to 1141 im happy. I take it 1 day at a time you my friend have to do the same for you and your 5 year old daughter.You could try a taper or go cold turkey like i did. Dont get me wrong its the hardest thing i have ever done. And it will be 4u but its worth it. you get up in the morning and and instead of me thinking were will i get the money for my next fix. Now i have breakfast take my dog for a walk. Thats living thats a normal life. You can be the same it wont be easy it will be the hardest thing yo will ever do. Bt its worth the fight. And with yor mom having pain pills in the hose its going to be very difficult in that situation. you will get support encouragment  at MH. There are lots of ppl willing to help you bt you must do the hard work yo will feel ill yo will feel like yo want to crl up in a ball and cry yor eyes out. But rember your 5 year old daghter she needs mom Iwish you the best of luck and god bless you. plz try and get of this pain pill addiction you and your daughter desserves a clean healthy mom. Gofor it girl you can do it. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT James,,,,,,,,,,,,