Aa
WHY cant I find aftercare?? I dont want to relapse!!
Day 16 I feel like I am in a really pivotal point in my recovery and I cannot find a counselor to help me!!! I have been looking for an aftercare counselor for several days straight and have gone the entire detox 100% ALONE other than you guys. I dont want to go to a rehab center for many reasons including privacy and because I need more comprehensive counseling. I have called THREE rehabs looking for referrals... or just he name of someone "outside" they know of and they all want me to come pay them $200 to $400 for a referral!?!?!?! Ridiculous! I look on line and I find nothing! Just counselors but nothing for addiction counseling. I DID talk to one addiction counselor today but she couldn't get me in so she referred me to a friend of hers. I left her a message and now I am playing the wait game again.
I am having really bad anxiety and I keep thinking about calling the pharmacy to refill my norco. I dont want to relapse. All of the stress and feelings from my Grandfathers death (see journal entries) are finally flooding in and I have no way to deal with them. I need to find someone asap!! Does anyone have any ideas? I live in the Bay Area, CA. My heart is pounding so badly........
I am having really bad anxiety and I keep thinking about calling the pharmacy to refill my norco. I dont want to relapse. All of the stress and feelings from my Grandfathers death (see journal entries) are finally flooding in and I have no way to deal with them. I need to find someone asap!! Does anyone have any ideas? I live in the Bay Area, CA. My heart is pounding so badly........
GOOD NEWS! I am feeling so much better today and I am not sure if it a placebo effect or if the supplements are working already! I slept through the entire night last night for the first time in ages and the anxiety has decreased dramatically. It will be interesting to see how the afternoon goes as that is when my anxiety peaks. When I talked to the nutritionist last night he said that it is a good idea to take the 5htp with the samE if you have anxiety and depression. One of them works on seratonin levels and the other on lack of amino acids.
SECONDLY, I FOUND A THERAPIST!! She specializes in addiction AND anxiety and mood disorders. Yay! I dont get in to see her until Wednesday but the progress is great. It makes me feel good that I have that appointment to get to. Another reason not to pop a pill ... at least until Wednesday, lol.
I will admit that my cravings are still present and I am fighting with the voices in my head every 15 minutes or more. I am definitely "white knuckling" it until I get in to see the therapist.
Many thanks again to everyone abrown1178, Cupp78, ArmtheHomeless, paaddict, hobbity, worried, beachcomber4you, gizzy and mandapanda. The posts, pm's and notes are awesome. I really cant believe I made it through yesterday. I hope I can be here for all of you too!
SECONDLY, I FOUND A THERAPIST!! She specializes in addiction AND anxiety and mood disorders. Yay! I dont get in to see her until Wednesday but the progress is great. It makes me feel good that I have that appointment to get to. Another reason not to pop a pill ... at least until Wednesday, lol.
I will admit that my cravings are still present and I am fighting with the voices in my head every 15 minutes or more. I am definitely "white knuckling" it until I get in to see the therapist.
Many thanks again to everyone abrown1178, Cupp78, ArmtheHomeless, paaddict, hobbity, worried, beachcomber4you, gizzy and mandapanda. The posts, pm's and notes are awesome. I really cant believe I made it through yesterday. I hope I can be here for all of you too!
To Sf girl,
I started taking Sam-e along with tyrosine and b vitamins. We'll have to let each other know how the supplements are helping. I am only on day 4 of Sam-e so too soon to tell.
I just want my brain to stop craving and my neck pain to go away! Taking tylenol and going to get a massage to hopefully give me some pain relief. Your doing Great!
I forsee myself eventually going to a meeting b/c I think it will be very helpful in my recovery but still haven't found one that will work with my schedule. I will eventually though.
Take Care.
Annie
I started taking Sam-e along with tyrosine and b vitamins. We'll have to let each other know how the supplements are helping. I am only on day 4 of Sam-e so too soon to tell.
I just want my brain to stop craving and my neck pain to go away! Taking tylenol and going to get a massage to hopefully give me some pain relief. Your doing Great!
I forsee myself eventually going to a meeting b/c I think it will be very helpful in my recovery but still haven't found one that will work with my schedule. I will eventually though.
Take Care.
Annie
Just wanted to add my support for the aminos, vitamins, and supplements. I am on day 15 right now and I am feeling very good. I still think about the pills occasionally, but it is a very quiet voice in my head and I can focus on something else and it is gone in minutes. I have tried this MANY times and this time has been the easiest and quickest of all of them. This is also the first time I followed the Amino Acid protocol (down on the right side of the page). Please keep doing it, I think it truly help ALOT! I take melatonin, a sleep formula from GNC and Theanine about an hour before bed, and I have been sleeping GREAT.
Another very important part for me has been going to NA meetings. This site is great, and NA just takes it to another level. There is amazing theraputic value in sitting and listening to people who completely understand you and your addiction, and seeing that you can move past it and there is a much better life without the use of drugs.
I looked at the meeting locator (http://portaltools.na.org/portaltools/MeetingLoc/) and there are LOTS of meetings in your area. I would HIGHLY recommend trying it. Just go and listen and use what you can. I can't wait to get my 30 day clean keytag!! Whne I was having weak moments in the first 7-10 days I would think about the things I heard in the meetings...about how easy it is to fall back in if you are not constantly aware, about how important it is to live just for each day (minute to minute at first for me), and how much better thir lives have been since they have been clean. NA has been a Godsend for me.
Remeber that one pill is too many and 1000 will never be enough.
Another very important part for me has been going to NA meetings. This site is great, and NA just takes it to another level. There is amazing theraputic value in sitting and listening to people who completely understand you and your addiction, and seeing that you can move past it and there is a much better life without the use of drugs.
I looked at the meeting locator (http://portaltools.na.org/portaltools/MeetingLoc/) and there are LOTS of meetings in your area. I would HIGHLY recommend trying it. Just go and listen and use what you can. I can't wait to get my 30 day clean keytag!! Whne I was having weak moments in the first 7-10 days I would think about the things I heard in the meetings...about how easy it is to fall back in if you are not constantly aware, about how important it is to live just for each day (minute to minute at first for me), and how much better thir lives have been since they have been clean. NA has been a Godsend for me.
Remeber that one pill is too many and 1000 will never be enough.
Glad it worked out. Try and only use one at a time from now on. That way if one stops working for ya you can switch.
I hope you get a goods night rest and keep up the good work.
Im proud of ya that you didnt go fill that script. Thats the easy way out. Glad to see your facing your problems head on. Keep up the good progress and in no time youll be back to normal.
I hope you get a goods night rest and keep up the good work.
Im proud of ya that you didnt go fill that script. Thats the easy way out. Glad to see your facing your problems head on. Keep up the good progress and in no time youll be back to normal.
Thank you for everyones notes and thoughts. I went out and got the 5htp, SamE, multivitamin and theanine. I took them all when I got home and after a bit decided to go for a drive. I drove for about 45 minutes and as I started feeling calmer I also started thinking... I should go to a meeting. I called 411 and got the local AA chapter (not NA nearby) and low and behold there was a meeting going on 1 mile from where I was! I drove over there just as the mid-break was going on and just sat for a while. I didnt go in but now I know its there and I feel soooooo much better. I was really scared today and now I feel like I might be able to sleep tonight. I think the supplements and especially all of the support here made a huge difference. I will report back on the supplements again tomorrow.
worried - I will call the number tomorrow... good to see you ;-)
hobbity - I will get IN a meeting next time. I was just so wiped out from a tough day and it was half over. I will :-)
paaddict - thank you for all of the extra information about anxiety and addiction. I do have insurance so I think I will be able to get at least SOME of it paid for. I will find out soon I hope!
YOU ARE ALL AMAZING. I did not fill the script. (((((HUGS)))))))))
worried - I will call the number tomorrow... good to see you ;-)
hobbity - I will get IN a meeting next time. I was just so wiped out from a tough day and it was half over. I will :-)
paaddict - thank you for all of the extra information about anxiety and addiction. I do have insurance so I think I will be able to get at least SOME of it paid for. I will find out soon I hope!
YOU ARE ALL AMAZING. I did not fill the script. (((((HUGS)))))))))
hi,
so sorry you are going through this. it's so tough feeling like you do, my addication was to xanax plus the morphine.
I have chosen the suboxine route this time aound, so far it's been the right choice for me, I have a 28 yr addication history along with chronic derpression and anxiety. I have experniced some really bad counslers , some ok but not very helpful, a few i did click with but they'd end up leaving, An angel came to me one day in the form of Gail,she helped me understand how being raised in an alcoholic home affected my life today. I was lucky to have her for almost 5 yrs. try to be patient , it will happen
You don't mention if you have insurance or medical card, i know you said 200 hundred, self pay is almost impossible these days.
I would keep pounding the sidewalk till you find a good counslor or a meeting. It gets frustrating but you sound determined. I live in a small town. No NA meetings, and only one alanon.(there are allot of AA meetings) I go to NA meetings on line.I would think in San Franscio you'd be able to find lots of help. I met someone here that lived in Las Vegas. He said he could find a meeting just about any time , any where.
Have you ever heard of dual/recovery? for addicts in recovery that suffer from depression , anxiety. There is allot of info on it on line.
I have never been to a treatment center , I probably needed to do it at some point in my life but I always worked.
good luck with your friend helping you out. I hope that you find someone soon.
oh yeah, don't throw your time away by getting the script filled. you'll be so mad at yourself, think about how far you've come instead,
good luck
paaddict
so sorry you are going through this. it's so tough feeling like you do, my addication was to xanax plus the morphine.
I have chosen the suboxine route this time aound, so far it's been the right choice for me, I have a 28 yr addication history along with chronic derpression and anxiety. I have experniced some really bad counslers , some ok but not very helpful, a few i did click with but they'd end up leaving, An angel came to me one day in the form of Gail,she helped me understand how being raised in an alcoholic home affected my life today. I was lucky to have her for almost 5 yrs. try to be patient , it will happen
You don't mention if you have insurance or medical card, i know you said 200 hundred, self pay is almost impossible these days.
I would keep pounding the sidewalk till you find a good counslor or a meeting. It gets frustrating but you sound determined. I live in a small town. No NA meetings, and only one alanon.(there are allot of AA meetings) I go to NA meetings on line.I would think in San Franscio you'd be able to find lots of help. I met someone here that lived in Las Vegas. He said he could find a meeting just about any time , any where.
Have you ever heard of dual/recovery? for addicts in recovery that suffer from depression , anxiety. There is allot of info on it on line.
I have never been to a treatment center , I probably needed to do it at some point in my life but I always worked.
good luck with your friend helping you out. I hope that you find someone soon.
oh yeah, don't throw your time away by getting the script filled. you'll be so mad at yourself, think about how far you've come instead,
good luck
paaddict
Can you at least find the NA meetings in your area? It seems that would at least help if you could get to a meeting and then maybe talk with the group and see if they can recommend a counselor or someone they would advise. I think NA would be better than not having anything. It seems you could call a hospital or a detox facility and ask if there were any resources in your community that would be willing to help you. I know I am about to start rehab and there are many many resources that they are planning to send me to but I am on the east coast so no help to you on that.
Dig around in this link you will have to copy and paste it into a browser window to get the link to work but once you do this site seems to have quite a bit of resources and connections.
http://www.recoverymonth.gov/2008/voices/default.aspx
Dig around in this link you will have to copy and paste it into a browser window to get the link to work but once you do this site seems to have quite a bit of resources and connections.
http://www.recoverymonth.gov/2008/voices/default.aspx
Hi ! I found my after care through one of thr local hospitals. There were many I could have gone to, Insurance was the only thing I had trouble with, I sent you a message yesterday about your Grandpa, Keep up the GREAT WORK! I'll pray for you and MAY GOD BLESS YOU IN JESUS NAME A-MEN!!
I called Whole Foods and they carry all of them! I am headed down there right after dinner. thank you so much!
The best is to go to GNC and get them. Im sure your local pharmacy like walgreens or super market will have them. Just whatever you do. Dont look to the pill for a out. The problems you have no will come back twice as bad.
Like you im having to deal with a death in the family and deal with all sorts of ******** that I never felt cause I was so doped up. Just make sure you keep strong. Keep your head up and get them vitamins!!!
Good luck and all my love
Like you im having to deal with a death in the family and deal with all sorts of ******** that I never felt cause I was so doped up. Just make sure you keep strong. Keep your head up and get them vitamins!!!
Good luck and all my love
You are BOTH awesome..thanks so much for being here right now. :) I already am feeling a little better just coming on here!!
mandapanda and I have been in this together from day one! We always check in on each other. Thanks for your great posts too. your awesome!
hi everyone. thank you for your words. I just feel like I am sliding down this hole again and my mind keeps saying "a pill ould make you feel better. you wouldnt care about any of this s*#t you are dealing with if you had a pill". crazy.
armthehomless, can i get all of these supplements at whole foods? thank you so much!
mandapanda... pm me if you want. (((HHHHUUGGSSS))))))))
armthehomless, can i get all of these supplements at whole foods? thank you so much!
mandapanda... pm me if you want. (((HHHHUUGGSSS))))))))
Ok seriously im not laughing at you at all, but in the middle of your tears coming down, you gain composure and answer her post to help her, that is awesome:) anxiety is awful. hang in there ladies
hey again, okaaay now that I've calmed down a bit after posting, please don't get your scrip filled! I had those same thoughts today, mostly due to panic. Are you able to see a physciatrist? thats evidently what I'm going to have to do, but through the county because I have no insurance coverage. I know we're both in the bay, so I'm sure your county has something also? I hope you're feeling better and stay strong with me today!!
Im on day 20. DO NOT GO GET PILLS. DO NOT!!!!
It is not worth going into that slump again!!! Im not sure what medications you are talking so its hard for me to say what you can take.
I have had SEVERE!! anxiety since day one and its been the worst part of my recovery.
Please stay strong. Your not gonna die. It really does pass.
Things that helped with my anxiety were as follows:
Working out
eating right(when i can eat if at all)
Sam-E (literally a godsend if you are not pregnant or on antidepressant.)
5-HTP
Theanine(natures valium)
Multivitamin
Talk to the people you love, let them know what your going through and that you need them to be strong for you. The main thing is dont sit around and dwell on the anxiety (I know its harder then **** but it really helps). Get up and move around. Just dont pace. Clean, wash, stretch, do WHATEVER you can do.
If you can and your not taking SSRI. Please go get Sam-E itll really help ya.
Oh yeah another one of my favorites( gotta be careful it does have sugar in it and you want to avoid sugar) is glaceau vitamin water B-relaxed. Its really helped. It has jackfruit plus guava b vitamins and theanine(a natural valium)
Keep strong. Im in the same spot now. Day 20.. and it just keeps getting better and better. Stronger by the day
It is not worth going into that slump again!!! Im not sure what medications you are talking so its hard for me to say what you can take.
I have had SEVERE!! anxiety since day one and its been the worst part of my recovery.
Please stay strong. Your not gonna die. It really does pass.
Things that helped with my anxiety were as follows:
Working out
eating right(when i can eat if at all)
Sam-E (literally a godsend if you are not pregnant or on antidepressant.)
5-HTP
Theanine(natures valium)
Multivitamin
Talk to the people you love, let them know what your going through and that you need them to be strong for you. The main thing is dont sit around and dwell on the anxiety (I know its harder then **** but it really helps). Get up and move around. Just dont pace. Clean, wash, stretch, do WHATEVER you can do.
If you can and your not taking SSRI. Please go get Sam-E itll really help ya.
Oh yeah another one of my favorites( gotta be careful it does have sugar in it and you want to avoid sugar) is glaceau vitamin water B-relaxed. Its really helped. It has jackfruit plus guava b vitamins and theanine(a natural valium)
Keep strong. Im in the same spot now. Day 20.. and it just keeps getting better and better. Stronger by the day
hey hun, I'm sorry you're not doing well either.. I'm going to post too, as I sit here in tears, I don't know what else to do. xoxoxo
Even though your struggling right now and thinking of calling pharmacy this is a great post. I think a counsellor is a great idea but i dont' know of any info for you to find one from where you are. Getting clean is more than quitting drugs, it's dealing with life, such as all these feelings with your Grandfather's death, so do whatever it takes to do so. The last thing you need right now is a refill and you know that. Im sorry im not answering your question really, but reading your post i can see how bad you want to stay clean and just took that first step by asking for help. Keep searching for a counsellor, keep talking to us, but don't do something you regret. 16 days is so good and your head is just starting to clear so please don't give up. In the meantime, have you ever attended AA/NA meetings.
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