WITHDRAWAL!!!! PLEASE

[godxcel]

Ok first off I am an Iraq Veteran. Im not saying this for any thanks just if someone else here has this problems after going inform me please.  Ok so since 2009 I have been on vic 5/500, perc 5/325, norco 10, perc 15, dilaudid, vico 5/500, perc 5/325 (IN THAT ORDER)....I did withdrawal once and honestly I can only remember the anxiety and no sleep (which ambien took care of for the sleep). Why did I take all this? I can tell you it wasnt because of recreation...I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis...they put me on Remicade which is a infusion...i developed Arthritis (usually 3 weeks after I took remicade its so bad I can not walk after a week of it starting) then came the Migraines, PTSD, and I tested posotive for ANA Lupeis. I thought I couldnt take the pain of everyday but, I cant take the pain of taking pain meds and being dope sick because the VA wont fill my script unless I go to PTSD Counseling.  In my opinion the VA in Cincinnati is rude and cruel to its people...I was told that the PTSD clinic was new and doctors had to refer people to pay for the new building in order to get meds filled for long time users of opiates.   OK SO!! :D....Day 2...Last night on day 1 sucked big old horse collars....My question is how long will this take? I remember it took 4 days last time and I was off them for about 3 months....I have been indulging myself on Excedrin Migrain (Because I get migraines no matter what and opiates develop rebound ones after not taking them), I take prednisone (havent taken it yet was wondering), I take 1800mg Gabapitan, Sumatriptan (headaches again), IMODIUM AD( Ive been taking this for years since I have UC and I am a pro crapper anyways), Extra Strength toilet paper (YA BUDDY), DAYQUIL (MIRACLE DRUG)......Please help

[dominosarah]

I am happy to see your update!  I am sending Congrats your way!!

[godxcel]

Larry appreciate your service also.  I dont care to discuss what happened because If I dont talk about it I forget about it.  Thats just how I work I guess. I think that if I get this sleep issue down I will be good to go...I do wake up refreshed without any get go.  Yes UC Blows but, hopefully she dosnt get the arthritis...it is probably the worst thing ever..People who have arthritis complain because it comes and goes...UC arthritis Induced does not leave unless you take Remicade...NO ARTHRITIS MEDICINE OR EVEN PAIN MEDS GET RID OF IT...just Remicade.  Its always there so tell her that Remicade is the way to go if she can get it free (Costs 18k a bag). Ben again, Not for me. I understand it works for everyone but I think that it takes bad days to realize what good days are so when you have a good day its a great day. Thanks everyone I am getting there.!  

[godxcel]

Thanks bro Im the same way but, I have been off them for 3 weeks and I know I am not going back. I am not one of those guys who trade war stories even with veterans I rather go to a comedy club and laugh. Me laughing and cracking jokes is my positive reinforcement. Thank you for the time responding but I dont take sumatriptan that much cuz seems my headaches are dying off.

[Ben727]

Hey, I remember this thread from November. So glad to see you're still clean. That's a huge accomplishment that I hope you take great pride in! I noticed that you weren't interested in AA/NA earlier in the thread. I understand, meetings were not for me either (although I did attend some as "due diligence"). I can say with an absolute certainty that organized aftercare is absolutely essential. For me it was a private addiction therapist. These don't come cheap, I know. And AA/NA is basically free. I'm not sure of the best way for you to find this, maybe someone else will have a suggestion, but I do believe getting some outside (professional) help and support is critical.

[Bubulous]

I am an Iraqi and Afghanistan vet.  I suffer from an addiction to pain pills and severe PTSD.  I am being treated for both along with being bipolar.  My girlfriend sufferd from Ulcerative Colitis recently and I wasn't with her at the time but the way she describes I would rather be going through the worst w/ds I ever been through in my life than go through that.  Blieve me the VA in Lousiville is worse than the one in Cininnati.

I can relate to almost everything you said.  Many people on here can give you advise about addiction and so can I.  However the main difference between most of them and me is that I have experience dealing with PTSD from deployments.  PTSD is about the same for everybody in the way you have to cope with it.  Whether you have been physically abused for a ling time, sexual abuse, or long periods of loss, plus many more.  If you want to share things with me about your PTSD you can post them hear or private message me if you don't wish to talk about them out in the open.

Good Luck,

Larry

[evolv]

congrats man, that's great! are you taking the sumatriptan every day? i get magraines as well, but i only take that when i feel one coming on - it acts like caffiene so it gives you a lot of energy but not in a good way - like shaky too much coffee energy. I would stop that if you can, also stop the L-Tyrosine and drink lots of water, and less sugar/coffee/caffiene of any kind if you can. your body is compensating, it will take a while to settle down. For sleep, you can try some gentle stuff like Valerian Root (herbal) or even Banadryl (it's for allergies but makes you very sleepy and as long as you don't take more than one, you will wake up refreshed. I'm not a doctor, so check with yours before mixing anything, but I have experience with all this and that's what I would do. Congratulations to you, I'm hoping to be there soon. And just as a plug - I thought AA was stupid, I"m an independent, skeptical, stand-off ish guy who thinks I can do everything on my own and I don't need any help - but I've gotta tell you AA change my life. AA saved me. It's the only reason I'm here today. Everyone I've ever met in those rooms has had nothing but positive and supportive energy and caring. It's terrifying to go your first time - but imagine this board, but in real life, with people who will take you out to coffee afterwards and trade war stories - because you have been through a serious battle, and you won, and hearing from people ten years ahead of you on the path is really helpful and inspiring - having someone to call when you think you're feeling weak, someone who would never judge you. I'll shut up now but there's no shame in it, it saved me. And thank you for everything, we all owe you a great debt. Call on us any time, we are here.

[godxcel]

I think its been almost 3 weeks but, I AM STILL PAIN MEDS FREE....Now lets see if you guys can help me with this one....I HAVE WAY TO MUCH ENERGY....its as if i hate having this much energy..I cant sleep at 11pm...I go to bed at 3-5 am. LoL makes you wish you had pain meds at night but, thats for the birds...So what you all think? Had the same problems? Im feeling pretty good but its like my mind is racing with crap all day and night. But otherwise everything is falling back to normal.

[dominosarah]

Each day will get better~

[godxcel]

~Day 3~

I didnt sleep much but did get some sleep...I have started out the day with alot of arthritis pain but, fortunantly it is going away. I think because I over did it with playing basketball yesterday. Im starting to get a little boost of enegy thank god.  I cant wait till the day this is all better and I strive for it...ill keep you posted later tonight and tell you all what is happening..Thank you again all!

[marycarmel]

Blss your little son!  From the mouths of babes.  And it's okay to cry;   it's cathartic.  Just keep taking it a minute at a time.  You can do this ... prayers for you and your family.

[dominosarah]

Hi and welcome to the forum~ A big huge thank you for your sacrifices you have made for this country.

You will experience rebound pain for awhile.  It;s that brain game that goes on.  The pain suxs the big one but for many of us it did decrease with time.  Hot showers or baths are good.  Bananas are good for you also.  Try and stay as active as you can.  You are doing great so keep it going~

[godxcel]

stick with it. I cant believe how better I feel. I wish the anxiety would go away but, hey thats little stuff. I dont mind staying up for awhile and taking a nap with my son later.  I hope all goes well with you..The only crappy part is my arthritis is so bad i think thats what is keeping me up also. Take it easy and please respond back I hope you are going good with everything and trust me crying, laughing, and praying can never hurt!

[toothfairie]

first......thank you for your service....and congrats on making it this far.....i'm glad to see you have some energy back.....i'm on day 14 clean and still get really tired.....keep up the fight and we are all here for you and each other!!  looking forward to hearing about your progress....good luck to you!  and so thankful you have wonderful sons that are with you thru this....

[WeanQueen]

God Bless You, u almost made my cry, u make it sound so easy, I down play it till my knees get weak and I give in, but I'm opian free, first 30 hours , longest in 3. 1/2 yrs,   Some things are Beautiful and when we get right and feeling normal, ... You help us while we help you, you're very appreciative an God helps, so I'm Glad to see you mention him so much.   It's a sort of twillight zone. I wonder when normal will arrive, but either way I'm waiting on it.  

[godxcel]

I do not deserve so much support since I was just wanting answers.  For your concern about me going to AA and the UC I have remicade and I am so close to remission with Remicade (MIRACLE DRUG, Except it brung on the arthritis). Btw my name is David. I feel a little anxious tonight but, I have to say its great to be opiate free! today i sat on my sons swing in the back yard..put my headphones on and listened to "Fly over states" almost 10 times watching the sky thanking GOD (I am not a preacher of any sorts but he is doing great things because I have prayed to him everyday for help). I watched the sky for the first time with eyes wide open without being "HIGH" or "Zombie like" and just watched the clouds...no lies...I will pray for everysingle one of you for your help and your dedication for helping others. I will be on here everyday and post my day to day action. THANK ALL OF YOU!

[WeanQueen]

Get what I got on day 22,   L. Tyrosine, it's part of thompsons cure, but if ur off, your dopamine is effected, lots of mental stuff getting off drugs, that stuff is cheap $7.99 and omg I feel half normal.     It works on dopamine it's just a vitamins but I've never felt this good in 24 days, I'm 30 hrs clean after   3.  1/2 yrs !!!!!      I'm done and this is the most helpful stuff I've found !  Serious xoxox.   Come back, keep us posted .  

[selfinduced]

WOW, WOW AGAIN. So very blessed. . Your sons are GREAT!.

[godxcel]

My son is my after care...I dont need AA...I want to do this and will do this but I thank you for your interest and concerns...My baby boy Gavin last night on the 1st night seen me crying...A grown 28 yr old man crying cuz I was in such anxiety...he reached over and said "Its okay daddy" and laid back and he fell asleep. Thats my AA.

[selfinduced]

YAY!!! So glad to hear of your high energy. You may have a few days where you'll dip back down, but don't get discouraged. Each day as your body and brain heal you'll improve. Keep posting and let us know how your fairing. Remember exercise, but no bench pressing a car just yet. WAY TA GO XCELL!!

[marycarmel]

Glad to hear you're doing so well so far!  What are you planning for aftercare?  AA/NA, private counseling?  It's a good idea to think about putting that in place as the people that seem to have the most success seem to do some sort of aftercare.  Again, do you have a plan to deal with your pain?  i don't know a lot about UC other than it is serious and painful.  Can you talk to your doctor about how you're going to manage that?  So glad you're feeling so good!  Keep up the good work.

[Pat1956100]

What a great attitude and I wish I had some of that protein drink.  I have heard about it before but didn't realize how great it was for energy.
Day 14 and still would love an energy boost.
Congrats and keep posting.

[godxcel]

Hey im back and yes I am alive....still day two...i bought some b6 and protein drink called WHEY Protien...it ***** drinking it but the boost of energy it gives is unreal..MY MIND IS LIKE DOOD LETS GO BENCH PRESS A CAR!! of course i would fail and drop it and go to the hospital then be back on pain meds..in another note for some reason taking: Imodium AD, Excerdrin migraine (caffeine boost without the jitters), DAYQUIL, b6, and protein drink...ARE MIRACLES...I feel so good right now expecially since I opened this forum question up and you guys are so damn positive and I really appreciate it so much! might sound dumb to you guys but thank GOD really...without him this would be hurtful and I would fail so bad...Honestly love this forum and love you guys....btw is this some kind of endorphin going horrible that I am so happy? LMAO THANKS GUYS!

[Norco1947]

Hi Godxcel ,  I am a Viet Nam Vet. & I  thank you for protecting us . Give the VA another chance , The addiction Dr's there were a big help for me . Yes the PTSD clinic is messed up . They deal with every thing and and every body and try to blend combat PTSD in with the rest . Does not work well .
Your worst W/D will last about 100 hours after that it gets better day by day .
Make sure you eat & drink lots of water . Must eat to heal .
Post questions & fight hard , Stay positive You can do this ... Ron

[marycarmel]

Just chiming in to say thank you for your service.  Sorry to hear with all you're going through.  IC is a really painful and serious condition.  Is there a way a doctor can work with you to taper off all this?  I'd go easy on the Excedrin with all the caffeine in it.  I love Sleepy Time tea and Alteril to help with sleep issues.  I think Imodium is a wonder drug for withdrawals but I would think you would want to check with the doctor with your IC.  Would they consider letting you see someone outside the VA for your PTSD?  I'm a former migraine sufferer and I know how bad they are.  I have never tried them but I know there are a couple of meds used to abort a migraine once it starts and also I think Imitrex is used as a preventative.  Staying hydrated is really important so drink as much as you can.