DONT GIVE UP! Ive been where you are....i sat in my car for a whole night until about 6 am rocking back and forth becasue my body was screaming....I had gotten one hrs sleep in 2 days....i had to remind myself second to second I CAN DO THIS.... IM DOING IT....ITS WORTH IT. I don't want to end up like how I used to be. Instead of day to day I took it second to second. I KNOW IT'S HARD BUT YOU CAN DO IT....definately try to go get sum valeria root. I am told when people come off methadone they don't sleep for weeks and weeks....I slept the first night i got the valeria root and melatonin. Keep me posted on how your doing ok? Message me anytime!
BREATHE!! Calm down..to be honest, you aren't making much sense and I understand that. It is hard, I know. So take a deep breathe and tell us what exactly you need help with?
I am on day 7 of 0mg methadone...I understand how your feeling. I'm not a doctor but I used valeria root to sleep and still am until im completly withdrawal free I take 3 than an hr later 3 more...one 5mg of melatonin and i'm out like a baby :) Hope this helps...if you need anyone to talk to PLEASE MESSAGE ME!!! YOUR DOING GREAT JUST REMEBER ITS ALL WORTH IT
i was doing ok a few hours or so ago and im so tired im trying to keep my mind clear and listen to what others have given there advice and i was ok it wasnt that bad then i just start thinking about how ive gone a whole day without pill and how i can do this to me thinking of the last time and im already shakey then found out it wasnt when i thought it was two days ago and i start doubting i can do this took my xanx out of the house so nervous that i sit another night and its a nightmare to sit night after night watching the wall or just thoughts racing thru your head but i dont want to stop trying i just dont know how to do it without pumpin myself up with something i think im just so tired its making everything harder
thanks im just so exhausted ive consumed myself with being done with this and have gotten rid of everything so theres no temptation but also no security and this is how i wanted to do it because everything else id probably give up i just got to be done with this you know,thanks advice
Try and relax hun. It is going to be hard for the next few days---physically. Okay? But you already decided that you ARE going to do this so hang in there. I promise, it will be over soon.
i know ive tried this so many times and actually for weeks once i quit i thought i did it but as the days passed i felt a 100 times worse and fell back and thats what im worried about never feeling the way i used to and thats what freaks me out im never gonna be me again and people on here have said that took some work
ah dude i read your post and i know that had to be brutal i thought i quit once but that guy wasnt me i mean i was in such a depression i lost intrest in everything i ever had i had nice cars like chevelles ,camaro,a couple harleys now gone i could not have cared less i started thinking what if i do pull this off im gonna hate me and i dont want to make my familys life hell then thats how my kids will remember me ya know jagofff or junkie either way i cant win so i guess im just trippin ,thanks
You have to remeber that you want the old you back....and the damage thats done to your body takes time. You will get the old you back.....but anything worth the fight is worth fighting for.....it's not easy I know....but think about how many people want to old you back again too. I now feel everything happens for a reason....and I have said before maybe those of us here are put through this because other people around us couldn't make it through. Your not just anyone you decided to do this for a reason and don't loose sight of that reason. How did you feel when you got to the point that drugs ruled your life....would have done anything to reverse time? Never regret what you have done inlife...makes you the person you are today. How many people you know that would have made it past the decision to actually do something about their problem? Not many my friend.....THERE WILL BE ROUGH DAYS....JUST REMEBER WHAT YOUR DOING NOW EACH STEP EACH MINUTE IS THE PATH BACK TO YOU
ah man your killing me i know what ya mean everything your saying is true not taking the vics yeah bothers me but ive done that part and it was one of the hardest things i ever did but compared to how i feel and act it was brutal yeah i do remember that first pill everythings a blurr for probably gotta be four years except that pill and then it was over i could not function without that bad boy i mean nothing i was here but like gone all the time no intrest no drive i never would of thought ever this was gonna be me unreal i mean my wife has to hate me were moving in a couple weeks imagine how excited i am to load a truck and drive 2000 miles feel like i tore my family apart and i did i was actually gone leave i couldnt take scewing them up anymore im more harmful to them being around i even tried the whole suboxone thing for 4 or 5 weeks that worked for a couple of weeks and was every week and was like1600.00-1700.00 a monthi i had to quit then im looking on this site and everyone on that stuff is like taking 16-20mg everybody i read about this dude had me on 80mg first week then120mg the second so im reading all this for last two days and hearing about so many people going thru same thing makes it seem to me even gonna be harder i quit drinking after a year of hard drinking thinking that was gonna help it just made it worse so i just quit one day aint had a drink since i can do that but icant with the pills because thats what makes me feel normal i guess thats what hit me today and kinda tripped i stiii am not gonna take anything because there might be a slite chance it all works out i nkeep telling myself
how long did you go thru your problem for im sure it was quite awhile, it so unreal that little yellow pill ran my life it caused every problem i have today but i promised everyone i would start weening myself off those the booze, xanax and i did for like the last four,five months i did a complete turn around compared to how i was so im starting to feel a lttle better no booze the xanx only to sleep and slowed down on vics and my family is looking at me wierd asking me whats wrong and im like nothin things were better well then they start accussing me on being on coke or meth i cannot believe what im hearing because i wasnt all jacked with downers anymore just a zombie sittin there .what should i think thats all they have seen for years i couldnt blame them thats when i decided to just to it and thats it and i am still confident i can do it i cant live anymore by them pills.thanks for talking with me it helped alot put me back on track im just gonna wig out for a bit i have no doubt your gonna be fine i can tell by your attitude your done with it all im sure.talk to ya
Yes i did have my problem for quite awhile even though im young. I didand said things that I never would have before I let it take over every single aspect of my life. I hear you on the whole family thing...even when I was on methadone everyone would say are you doing drugs....whats wrong with you. I found that instead of getting insulted or denying it I talked to my family about it. The fact of relapse is an everyday occurence for us. But we don't have to be part of the statistics. Not trying to get personal....you have issues where you need the xanax and vics? Boose mixed with the oxy's, percs, vics, opanas, anything opiate related was my heaven. It is hard but now I don't even want to touch alcohol becasue once i do the thought of using will be in the back of my mind. Yes we put ourselves here but your family obvisouly loves you and you mean alot to them. It's great that your done with all that....just keep it going. One day at a time....don't think about tommorow or yesterday...you never know what today will bring. This a great acheivementt and we have spent so many years messing it up that IT DOES TAKE TIME....I'm not there yet either but I look at the small things that I never noticed before. I'm glad your back on track.....withdrawals are temporary....what your working towards isnt. Hope your able to get some rest. Let me know how your night goes ok!
you know let me tell ya just one thing nobodys ever asked if i had issues and it was only one issue remember i told ya how i remember that one pill well the guy that gave me that pill we worked together we did auto glass together there then i became manager and we were friends good friends his kids and wife used to come to our house almost every weekend play with my kids all ffriends for eight years he was the hardest working guy i ever seen great with his kids real stand up dude,i had money put away i thought id open my own shop so i talk to him and ask him if hed go with me.now this was a big deal because we both made alot more money then we should have but our boss paid it cause he didnt want to be there., one week later were gone i go grab all my money were going to the lawyer and accountant i decided to make him half owner i thought if he worked that hard for our boss hes gonna work harder if its his so we start off strong everythings great were busy making money so this goes on but remember that pill it kinda was more involved then i knew he always had a few always handing me a couple wich i didnt really ever do i had like a soda size glass full of them he gave me cause just wasnt that into them like the weekend id have one or two thats it ,so im working one day i pulled a groin muscle man what pain i couldnt get in a car nothing so i just worked out of my house for like six weeks it was crazy this kid that worked for i hadnt paid cause i was kinda laid up so he comes by the next couple days he takes me to bank to pay him i didnt know how many hours but it was at least two weeks i pay him a thousand so hes happy i go to cash the check hand to the girl and i will never forget theses words sorry mr.mitchell you dont have enough to cover i asked her how much was there and she said six hundred bucks but i knew i had no less then 35 to 38 thousand dollars in there while i was out he stoled every dime i had left me with six hundred dollars and cruised he took everything i had left me with 5 -6 grand in taxes i finally find him and he tells me sorry hes real bad with money this guy who you think you know for years takes all that money and shoots it in his arm gone this all happend to me in one day before noon i think i just had a break down where i completely lost my mind and that glass full of pills was soon gone and there it started ,He just died a few weeks ago with a needle stickin out of his arm that was the one issue i had and now i have to move cant afford my house anymore and theres no work here ffor what i do,Him doing that is what turned me into this, aint that crazy.....funny nobody has ever put that together before sorry didnt mean to bore you or dump all that on ya and thats why im this way now i was like the guy you would last guess that would be this way.DUDE THANKS JUST GOING THRU THAT HAS CLEARED MY HEAD UP TO GET THRU THIS WITH NO DOUBT THANKS AGAIN SORRY I WENT OFF BUT ITS HARD FOR ME TO STILL BELIEVE THAT HAPPEND AND WHAT IT DID TO ME AND MY FAMILY,ONE THING!!!!
Are you blaming your friend for the situation you are in now?
are you asking me if i blame the guy who stoled every penny i had stuck me with back taxes the one that closed and drove my buisness in the ground ,making it so i have to leave my house my house and my kids have to maybe live in a apartment in the ghetto lovely south side chicago how nice oh and to qaok spent bought with all my money herion and shooting in his arm you know ive been up since sunday so ill just get to point ill shoot out around about number ball park it with debt plus cash bills for product i would have to say about real close to 50.000.00 dollars at least and lowballin 37,000.00 of my money so do i blame him for my situation a lttle bit.
oh im sorry i forgot i was having real bad panic attacks and was and still am up from sunday morning i needed one of my xanx but forgot sent them out of the house this morning because i want to be done with this start gettin more fired up the one of two people who are on my comment board and not the one that may have been a cop before but the other person on board was very cool i started to calm down and shes talking telling me you know you can do this so we went back and fourth then she ask me a question that nobody ever has i read it i instantly lite up i mean went off wich i do need to tell her im sorry for going off like that,so all W/D feelings are replaced with something else and yes it did suck and was full of rage but after 15 20 minutes i felt preety good, really think about it my kids have to move from a house they grew up knowing i had to spend my retirement on bills on lack of good paying jobs to be 40 and start all over youd be ok with that?
I was just asking a question is all......Hope you get some sleep.
ya sorry been kinda a constant reminder in our house as we have been packing it up,still not thinking im gonna sleep for sure now i gave up my xanax so didnt mean to be rude just a bad experience for my whole family on top of all my great idea of becoming a junkie at 36 or 37, have a good night
i know you are worried about not feeling well in the future but i would ask you to focus just on each day for now, even for each hour. If you feel depressed in the future, you could always ask for a mild antidepressant to your doctor. Not selfmedicating with pills that are not intended for depression and make more harm than good on the long run. This is a mistake we all have made in the past, selfmedicating and getting ourselves into much worse problems like addiction so... step by step. Keep being positive on the present, you are fighting for a healthier YOU and this is worth it :)
I WAS DOING GOOD TO THAT POINT MY MIND JUST STARTED RACING IM A WHOLE DAY OFF PLUS SOME PERSONAL EVENTS WERE BROUGHT UP BUT AFTER ABOUT AN HOUR PLUS IM STILL UP SINCE SUNDAY MORNING IM PREETY GOOD NOW JUST CANT SLEEP IT HAS TO BE OVER 50 HOURS OR MORE
yeah, i know that we can't seem to stop overthinking but it is the worst time to start racing with our mind, we are not at our best, aren't we ? :) we beat ourselves really hard when detoxing...I repeated to myself that i would have time to think about whatever once i felt better... This is the reason i speak of staying busy and even watch some funny videos, the hours keep counting and you will soon start feeling a bit better... but lack of sleep is really tough for the first weeks
I am sorry to hear that you are having troubles. I can relate to starting all over it's a B****!There are so many compassionate people on this site who can help. I'm on day 16 no pills-methadone- but I've been on percs,oxys any opiate i could find b4. Totally clean for 16 days- it's not easy but it is worth it- YOU are worth it! Your kids are worth it. I saw this today and it seemed to kinda help me. Hope it does you:
If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.
— Lao Tzu
BE AT PEACE MY FRIEND!!
I'm trying to focus on the present.I wish you luck too! TEENA
Wondering if I'd ever feel normal again (and not the 'normal' that pills caused) was one of my biggest fears ever when quitting. Pills are pretty much synthetic good feelings. They force your brain to make these endorphins that make you feel good. And the longer you take them, the more your brain forgets how to make those feelings on their own. It takes a lot of time to feel GOOD again. But just focus now on staying alive. Each day it'll get easier.
thanks for the check in that was very nice,yeah we have had our share of bad luck last couple years sometimes ive had enough to cover 10-20people and yeah there are lot of good people i met on here and i find myself sitting for hours feeling so bad because everyone to a degree are dealing with the same thing and these kids man i get chills when i read 18 year old kids ben on meth and now has to face that detox and i know how bad they are from what i take and im sure those are probably a bit harder i didnt decide to destroy my life till my middle 30ys , it looks to be working good for you from all you were dealing with i got real bad last year i was taking whatever i could get my hands on like i was on a mission to self destruct thank god that stopped it was a solid six months just hands full of anything drinking morning till i passed out but i never did so i finally just competly stopped drinking and random pill binging i mean six months ago was a blurr and now theres only one thing and try and try that i have put myself in more w/d to get rid of so this was the first time i ever did like this counsling or support group so will see,it seems to work for you and i can just tell by peoples attitudes is amazing how everyones so positive is this your first time doing anything like this if you could write me back any of the experince you could share i met this girl on her i think she isnt even 27 yet and ive only been on this site a few days and watched what she went thru in a matter of days and we talk on here you would never of thought with how positive and just full of life she is its inspiring to me i was having a hard time yesterday day before she just start talking to me calmed me down and telling me how i can do this pumps me all up and then find out im not going thru anything near shes going thru she did all that for me while she was in the middle of her detox i was blown away well im gonna let you go cause you cant get a word in sorry didnt mean chew your head off but amazed by some people i talk to so please write me back and thank you again writing its really nice..