For those of you still around when I was coming on here a little while ago, I just wanted to say hi. I haven't been on in a while and I just got on and I see some familiar names. For those of you who remember I went to rehab at the end of last year. All of you guys helped me so much to get to that point, I just want to say thank you. I was sober for a few months and things were really great, for once I felt really genuinely good. I could wake up in the morning on my own and not needing drugs to get out of bed, that alone was amazing, things with my family, friends, work, it was all coming together, and I was living a real life. Unfortunately, recently i've relapsed :((. It is really frustrating, I feel like i'm back to the beginning in some ways, but I know what I have to do to get back to where I once was. For anyone out there reading this trying to get sober themselves, all I can say is I think you have to really want it for yourself, not for anyone else. I was addicted to oxycontin, snorting about 3 80's a day, and doing anything without it was absolutely unbearable and unmanageable, if i was not on oc, i was capable of doing nothing, and I got so worn out of trying to stop and constantly relapsing. The thing is, I thought I really wanted to stop, but when it came down to it, I wasn't willing to do ANYTHING for my sobriety. I still hung around old places and old friends, although I was going to meetings and working the steps, I couldn't fully commit myself to it. They say half measures avail us nothing, and I think in my experience that is true. I hope I can get to the point where I can stop being so stubborn and just do what i'm told. I'm still trying, i'm not giving up, and I hope anyone out there trying to get sober, today, tomorrow, next week, or whenever can stick with it, there is so much more out there, and for a brief moment I had a taste of it. I hope I can get back there. To everyone out there who remembers me, how are you? I hope all is well with everyone, it is so nice to see people on here still helping others.