Weak moment

[Cira30]

I guess I will bump my clean days to 0. Have to be honest with myself. After the surgery I ended up hanging morphine for a couple of days (low doses). Post op pain I took 15 mg lortab today. I regretted it after I did it. I don't have access to the pills. Someone is holding them and giving them as prescribed for the post op pain ( it was ordered 1-2 tabs every 4 hours). I had 2 pills today. I kicked myself so bad I had my friend just flush them. I was taking the toradol all last week for the pain but the Dr. Said no more NSAIDs for awhile, that is what contributed to the post op colitis. Hopefully 2 pills and a couple of doses of post op morphine won't put me back through wd's. so I am done kicking myself and moving forward

[ROSYouralright]

Just hang in and hold on! YOU CAN DO THIS. Keep your mind busy

[Cira30]

Good. My biggest gear was going through withdrawls (acute) again. I was already over the "hump" and did not want to go back. After the surgery I had "therapeutic doses" of narcotics for 4 days post op. so today is the first day without anything since surgery. I don't feel anything physical. Just all the psychological crap. Knowing my mom has the bottle, I could ask for a few, knowing my pain is not that bad, oh but this RLS, and I am bored, you know the mind games :)

[michael1953296]

From what you wrote it's not a relapse. Nursegirl is correct as well as the other posters. You are doing fine and should not get WD's.

When pain meds are taken as prescribe and just for the pain you should not feel a buzz just the pain abating..
no worries
Michael

[cleansweep1813]

Hey Cira.... I would not consider what your going through is a relapse. You didn't take a pill just to get high.... You have legitimate reasons.... Your under doctors orders.... Don't beat yourself up!!!! Best Wishes!

[ROSYouralright]

Don't beat yourself up AT ALL. You just had surgery!! Good job on allowing your mom to hand them to you as prescribed. That took strength of mind. Best of luck to u.

[Cira30]

I think he knew without me saying. Because I refused the script all together at first and then I could tell he knew something. He said " well I am going to give the prescription to your mom, she can give them to you when you need them. You are going to need to take a few and don't beat yourself up." She may have told him. He wasn't my reg Dr. He was a consulting dr

[nursegirl6572]

IMO...yes.  I don't see anywhere where you were abusing them, sneaking them, taking them for stress versus pain (or taking them when you didn't have pain), drug seeking for more...none of that.

I personally don't think it constitutes a relapse.  YOU know what's in your heart and soul.  If something is telling you deep down that you took something when you didn't need it, different story.  It can be tough to figure out, I've seen people struggle trying to figure out if they had ulterior motives.

From the exact words you posted here, sounds like normal pain control, with a plan (someone holding them).  Does your doc know about your addiction?

[ariley13]

Don't beat yourself up over this. This was something unfortunate that was out of your hands. What is important is that you took the meds as prescribed (well, less than prescribed!) and didn't abuse them. You had a plan set up, and you followed it post op. You had a trusted person hold your meds so that you would be accountable. I think you did great. Focus on getting yourself all better and then you can focus on your recovery again. Take care of yourself and try to keep your head up.

[Cira30]

Yes I didn't take enough to even get close to a buzz lol. So I should still stick with my clean date of almost 2 weeks then!!

[nursegirl6572]

If you used the pills as prescribed and for real pain (and weren't talking yourself into taking them because you wanted them) then it's not a relapse whatsoever.  

A relapse is based on the behavior, not just the substance..that works both ways.  Just like if a person who used to take hydros had an alcohol binge it would be a relapse (IMO anyway), just because a person takes an opiate for real pain, it isn't a relapse. If you think of it in terms of the BEHAVIOR versus just one factor (substance), then it makes sense.

An alcoholic who has not touched a drink but developed a serious gambling problem, complete with all of the lying, sneaking, etc...that would be an addiction relapse.  A person with migraines who took Vicodin off a friend for the pain...that would again (IMO) be a relapse...because it's addictive BEHAVIOR (self medicating).  There's a lot of disagreement about what constitutes a relapse, but this has always been my understanding.

If you know in your heart of hearts you were taking it for genuine pain, and you didn't abuse it (which it doesn't sound like), then you're fine.  You were following doc's orders.  

Your sobriety is intact IMO from what you've posted.  

[glamisgirl]

Good for you. You will be fine. I don't think you will have wD's just maybe a little bit of cravings. Its hard I know you just had surgery so try not to beat yourself up just move forward and that sounds like what you are doing.