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Avatar universal

What gave you hope?

I'm feeling pretty hopeless and scared right now. I'm day 2 clean and I don't know how to live a life without drugs. What am I going to do with my every day life.
I'm a stay at home mom so I had the perfect setting to use. Pleanty of time while the kids are at school /in bed for the night.
I feel like I needed Drugs to properly function.

I know all this is a lie, but my addiction is telling me it is what I need.

Please help.

13 Responses
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Avatar universal
My inspirations:
1) my kids and all the fun things we can do
2) Mornings - to wake up each morning and feel good was what I wanted.
3) to be happy bc you know you really aren't
4) to do things without my pills stash to get me through
5) to be healthy again
6) to not be so darn tired all the time

We all can't figure out what life is supposed to be like. Here is the reality - it's not eventful or exciting all the time. You have to plan your events for the week. Otherwise you do the normal - kids, food, shopping, cleaning, yard work, TV, reading, music, cooking...... Everyday. It is ok to do nothing but watch TV at times.

Visit family or friends. Join a gym and workout. Go shopping or lunch with a friend. Take some college classes. Volunteer. Get a part time job. That is life.

On weekends etc you can go to a movie, go out to dinner, park, pool, some guns with the kids husband and family. That is normal life. But you have to make the plans and decide what to do and how much. $$$ permitting of course. My excitement this Summer was taking the girls to WI Dells for a long weekend. We went and saw a bunch if movies and swimming. This is the 1st Summer I have done all that. So much fun.

It's up to you what you do. One day at a time. You define what a normsl life is. There is no one definition.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm one of those extra stubborn people. I had to take my addiction in it's progression to the point of near death. I guess I finally realized drugs was no life at all and they were going to take my last breath, unless I decided to make a change. My hope was that I could be healthy again physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I guess you could say my hope was life itself, it sounds simple, but it was very intense for me. I was tired, so tired and scared. I really had nothing to lose by quitting, but there was hope I had something to gain by quitting. I didn't believe I could heal for a long time, so I out hope in what the old timers in recovery said, "It keeps getting better." Well, they were right and I was wrong, so there you have it, I lived on other's hope, until I had my own.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I want my life back . I love my children they deserve the best mom I can be.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I appreciate all of your posts. I helps give me hope.
I really appreciate BlueJay and PinkGirl. It really helps to know that there are other stay at home mom's out there going through the same thing.

Helpful - 0
10487905 tn?1421080183
What gave me hope was when I surrendered all my will power to god or whatever you believe in.  Not that I have will power lol. I prayed everyday to god to just it all away from me all the misery all the pain and also all the thoughts in my head making me want to use. But it work the harder I tried the more god lifted off of me until I didn't even want to use anymore.  I've been clean from herion for over three years now and I can honestly say I haven't wanted to use in so long,  I feel at peace with myself now so I dont feel like I need to numb myself anymore.  Praying will give you your hope and strength back u just have to pray very hard really want it and show god you are willing to do some work also!
Helpful - 0
4522800 tn?1470325834
I wanted to Live not Die!!
One day I was in my 20s & the next close to 60
I did not even get to age gracefully!
Get out while you are young.
Just know it is a Disease and we can not do this alone. Get all the Support you can so you are not alone in your own head.
I wish you the best!
Bless
Helpful - 0
9734245 tn?1407160118
I am at the same point as u...I am also a stay at home mom...and I also am starting to question everything.  Just keep telling urself that ur addiction wants u dead....becuz u, yourself, would never harm urself and cause urself to do damage that will hurt u or kill u and take u away from ur kids.  YOU wouldn't do that.  but ur addiction will.  Just don't listen to it cuz its a liar....and its hardest in the beginning.  U can do this.
Helpful - 0
7680419 tn?1399056811
Knowledge gave me hope. Knowing that the pills are a sense of false happiness. False energy. False perception.  And seeing the world lighten up when I started my tapper only clarified all those feelings ;). Good luck in your journey and remember you can do it! And it does get better.



Helpful - 0
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
What gave me hope was that i knew i had the power to finally live and not just exist.  I knew i didnt have to be tied to those pills anymore.  You have the exact same power~
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I have my husbands full support. Which is helping so much!
I also just got a script for clonidine and something called lamodal(?) for the diarrhea. This has already set my mind at ease.
Helpful - 0
7163794 tn?1457366813
COMMUNITY LEADER
Dont push it...day 2 is when you start questioning why your doing this, i think. You know why u made the decision to quit, but your brain and the drugs are just trying to make u question yourself. Could it ever be a bad thing to quit drugs??? No! Give yourself a break...the next couple if days are going to suck, u know this ahead of time, just bite the bullet and push yourself through it. Maybe revisit the "why" question in a couple of days...i will bank u will think differently! Just ride through it. Are u doing this alone or do u have help?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi, I can't stress this enough: do not listen to your brain at day 2!!!! You're brand spankin new into being clean and you brain is absolutely HAYWIRE!!!

You just had your safety net ripped out and your emotions are all over the place. Loss, extreme depression, extreme anxiety are normal. You don't need to "figure" anything out right now. Just get thru the initial physical and mental pain right now. That's all you need to do. No huge life questions!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I can completely relate, I'm also a stay at home mom, one of my kids go to school my other is 2. I would pop a pill in the am when I woke up, it gave me energy, or so I thought, to function. Nap time and bed time was my time to really use. I'm now day 5 without any pills and I feel so much better than when I took them. The first several days were really hard, especially during nap time and bedtime. I didn't know what to do with myself, I felt lost. Now, I honestly don't think about the pills. I've picked up exercising during the mornings and by the time it's nap time I'm pooped and need to relax. Try to change your routine. I wasn't able to watch TV much at first because I would just take pills and relax with TV but now I've been able to sit a little and watch it. Stay busy, go outside it helps so much. What helped me stay on the right path was just having those few moments at first when I felt great, my energy peeked I felt like my old self was coming back. I was tired of needing pills to function. My kids needed a good mom, not one who was always tired all the time because of the pills. You can do it. The first days are tough, but keep your head up. It'll get better, I promise.
Helpful - 0
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495284 tn?1333894042
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