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Avatar universal

When does life become normal after oxy, perc, tab, withdrawls?

My husband is nearing the 14th day of being clean.  I am wondering when life will become normal again. Or will it every be normal again? Sometimes I feel like life was normal when my husband was looking for pills all the time, and snorting pills all the time.  Our life is different now, its better but its odd.  Its odd because our routine has changed, we have money now, we have noninterupted time together, the phone isn't ringing off the hook like it used to.  I am wondering will I get used to the quiet atmosphere in our house.  My husband gets so crazy sometimes trying to sleep(because its so quiet) he starts arguments with me.  Give me some advice, Please.
How do I deal with this and how do I help him deal with it?

66 Responses
Avatar universal
the are meeting's for famly member's of addict's
They are NARANON meeting's and ALANON meeting's.
your husband just getting clean is a great thing.
Every situation is differen't, but most addict's start getting better  fairly quick, tho we do complain. You know  we are doing good, when we stop complaining, get involved with other  addict's staying clean, and when we start to care about helping other addict's to stay clean. 14 day's is wonderful. somthing to be gratful for.
good luck
Avatar universal
How did he get off whatever he was on?

Avatar universal
Please, I urge you to follow the advice above.  If you have
problems finding your local NarAnon meetings contact your
local NA helpline.  14 days is only the beginning.
Avatar universal
Hi wife- I'm a wife of one too as well as an addict myself. Finding an Naranon or if unavailable in your area, Alanon will provide you with information, help and support. "Normal" is a relative term. About the only way to get through is, trite as it may sound,is to take it a day at a time and do your best to take care of yourself during this stressful time and not get too sucked in. Much easier said than done I know. You obviously love your husband and to see him go through this is hell I know. Addicts are an impatient lot, I certainly am. When I gave up my loves, booze and valium, I thought okay I did this, I want my life back-NOW! I didn't destroy my life overnight and it took longer than that to salvage and repair it and many times I though, what's the use, this is soooooooooo hard.But it has been worth it. Now I am clean, my husband an addict as well, who was clean for a long time went through some horrendous medical problems and is now on Oxycontin for chronic pain. So again the dynamics change and it's tough but I guess I've learned I don't have to let myself be blown around by every little wind of change.His  recovery is his responsibility. Really the best way you can help is to do your best to take care of yourself. When you let that go you don't have anything to give to anyone else. You can be there for him, it sounds certainly like you are. Addiction and recovery from it puts the addict and family through lots of changes. The trouble sleeping is common and the longer one stays clean, awareness of all sorts of things happens. 14 days is indeed just the beginning, I or probably anyone else on this forum won't paint a rosy picture for you. It will be tough going for awhile. The hardest thing for me was all the expectations I had of what I wanted to happen and how soon I wanted them to happen. Recovery, your own or anyone else's rarely happens on the timetable you think it should. But there is hope, it sounds like he wants to be clean and he has you on his side so it sounds like you are off to a good start. Take care, keep us posted.
Avatar universal
Hello to all you out there in the Barren weekend wasteland of the internet!

I say that because I usually don't look around here much on the weekends...... APARENTLY, most of you guys don't EITHER! I thought most of the posts came in on Saturdays and Sundays while we Laze around the livingroom computer... HaHa. Guess not.

Well, I guess I'll See you all on Monday around lunch..(that's when we all get bored at the job and look around, Right?!)

Have a GREAT Sunday, Everyone.

Peace & Thunderstorms-
Avatar universal

Are you the same IR that posts over on the New Addiction Forum on the EZBoard?

I must have missed that your husband is on oxy for chronic pain. So am I. How is your husband doing on the oxy? Is he OK? And are you OK with it? I know it can get out of hand too easily. Just wondering.

Avatar universal
Hi Francois, Yep it's me, same old IR on ez board. I'm married to Skipper ( kip). You've been quite kind in sharing your oxy experience with both of us. He ( we) are doing okay. He's on 120mg per day with IR's for breakthrough. His pain doc just put him on Baclofen for the muscles spasms which seems to help but makes him feel loopy. As an addict myself watching someone in my household take a narcotic is tough, even though I know it is for chronic pain and like you, it enables him to have a life without horrendous pain most days. But my little addict's brain is always working, even though I know it is for chronic pain the fact that he gets to take drugs legit really gets to me some days. Makes no sense, I know, he is in godawful pain and would be miserable without it. Oxy has actually enabled us to have a life somewhat resembling what we had B.S. ( before surgery) we can walk, travel and have conversations that do not entirely revolve around pain. Hope all is well with you as well. Take care. IR.
Avatar universal
Baclofen is *horrible*.  It works better on my muscle spasms than anything else, but I can't carry on an actual conversation with anyone for *hours*.  In fact the last 10 mg. I took was over 14 hours ago and I still feel "fluffy".
The part about being an addict, but needing to take narcotics for pain is a real *****, too.
Every so often I *have* to suffer through withdrawal, just so the narcotics are effective for the pain.  If I don't go through withdrawal, I have to keep increasing the meds to toxic levels.
On a couple of other threads I've mentioned what a pain in the butt it is to watch my husband and brother take strong pain meds "normally".  The meds *always* work for them (as pain relief), and they *never* go through withdrawal!  The boys are lucky they're so nice, or I'd be forced to pour ice water on them when I can't sleep because of restless "body" and they're both sawing logs!

Avatar universal
I found this list on the net.

panic attack's
muscle spasam's
difficultiy swalling
sensitive to noise
pin's and needle's in hand's, arm's , leg's
memory loss
prone to bout's of crying.
I think i have experenced all of the above in the last few year's , i was in the dark about most of them .
So are there more.
Avatar universal
You know, way back before I sustained all those injuries, I would sometimes get my hands on a Percodan or something. Maybe it was for some dental work, or for instance I had to have a melanoma removed from my chest and was given a bunch of Perc. Or maybe a friend had a couple of dozen and gave me three or four. I would take 'em, and when they were gone, that was that. I didn't got out looking for more. I guess I was sort of a druggie opportunist. I would go for months, years, without even a milligram of any kind of opiate.

Now I always said that if I had a lot of money and a source, I'd be dangerous on the downers, the opiates. I look back on those statements today and laugh at myself. And now I read your post about envying your husband the pain meds.

Well, here I am today, three and a half years post near-death injury, taking 100 mg oxy twice a day just so I can put one foot in front of another and think to myself how foolish I was to make those kinds of statements.

I've had only one bad experience with oxy, and that was when I was using it for breakthrough nearly every day for months and suddenly stopped. You may remember me mentioning 8 months of deathly depression. I could have returned to taking the extra 20 mg each day, but that would have been a slippery slope. And I would have had to admit failure to my wife, my doctor, and myself. So I gutted it out for the 8 months, and now I'm ok and taking the oxy just as it is prescribed. I will no doubt be on this the rest of my life. It's scary.

Anyway, I do hope you continue controlling your urges to perhaps get into your husband's pain meds. It's a soul killer. I don't know if you have children, but I've heard so many women talk about how painful it is to give birth, but how it's immediately forgotten just the instant the baby is placed in their arms for the first time. I think addicts are like that. They remember how good the opiates feel, and forget all the pain associated with them. Even after my experience, I find myself thinking about how nice a crushed oxy would feel. Then I force myself to remember the 8 months of pure hell. And I forget the crushed oxy and have a nice, cold Coke (-ca-Cola)!!

The grass always seems greener over there where your husband is, but look at what he has to go through for it. And I can tell you from experience - there's NO HIGH in an oxy when you're on them for pain. There's that chance at having a life again, just as you have said. Wise; you're very wise to remember that.

I guess I'm being preachy, but I don't mean to be. I just saw your comment and it made me remember how cocky I was pre-injury. I didn't know what I was talking about then. I do now. Wisdom certainly can come at a very high price sometimes, can't it?

Love to You and to all,
Avatar universal
Francois- I don't think you are being preachy at all. It is a point well taken. Kip says to me often, "I never thought what I would do if I acutally NEEDED drugs like these". I hope I don't  ever need them, curiousity has killed this cat a couple of times. I am truly grateful for what I have today in terms of being clean, I guess I don't think of him or anyone on pain meds former addict or not as "unclean". He struggles with it from time to time as you know. You seem to have a good sense of where you are and where you need to be with Oxy and I do admire that. It doesn't rule your life, it allows you to have one. We enjoyed reading your post about putting your Oxy's in the freezer, he utilizes a safe deposit box for the same thing. Our house got broken into last spring and all they took was cash and Oxy,left computers and other toys alone!
     Well it's tax day, if I were still drinking I would be off to drown my sorrows, instead we are going to drive down to Kansas City today, eat some good barbeque, shop, listen to some live music. I'm stopping by the post office on my way out of town,  I always make them wait til the very last friggin day. I'd actually wait til midnight too except I plan to still be out having fun by then hope. Blessings to you.
Avatar universal
Hi wife~
I have to agree with the previous advice you've been given and very strongly suggest that you find some support group meetings for yourself.  There are not Nar-Anon meetings in my city, so I attend Al-Anon on a regular basis.  It is a real lifesaver for me!!  

I have been where you are now.  I know what it is like when he hits 14 days and start hoping for everything to be "normal" again.  That just isn't the case. There have been some major changes in your life so far and I'm sure there will be many more.  When a person stops using drugs or alcohol, it doesn't "fix" everything like we're hoping it will.  As you've already found, the can become rather unpleasant to be around when they are going through their own struggles.  This is the time for you to focus on taking care of yourself...

You may want to check out http://naranon.com/forum/.

Avatar universal
Thank you all for the info I appriciate it greatly.  
Francoise to answer your question, he was on oxy200mg or percs 150mg or tabs 150mg everyday.  He was not prescribed anything!  On easter sunday he decided to stop because we were broke and I was sick of it (I guess he was too). So the next day (monday) he was at home doing bad.  We stayed at his mothers house for 8 days while he detoxed. He threw up had the shits and couldn't remember anything for 3 days the only thing that helped him stop shaking was clonidin a bp med that the doc prescribed.  The next sat. 6 days into detox he had to go to the doc and get fluid for dehydration.  And the doc prescibed him sonata for sleep. Which didn't help a lot.  He is doing a little better now he is on his 16th day.  He wants to snort a lortab on occation because he doesn't think he'll have a problem with that (I know better, he's an addict) so far he hasn't. I keep trying to talk him out of it. To him Lortab is the gateway drug to oxy's.

Thanks you all!

Avatar universal
Yes, and then there's my personal favorite that awful feeling in your limbs where you just have to move them or it won't stop.  Keeps me from resting at all.
I think you folks have called it "Restless leg", or "Restless limbs".  For me it isn't painful, just really, really oogy.

wife of ...
I wish your husband would come on this board, or go to NA or something.  As long as he doesn't he can keep "fooling" himself. Like the lortab snorting.  A great many of us are here *just* because of lortabs (hydrocodone).  I'll bet he already knows this, he just thinks *you* don't know, maybe?
It is extremely addictive.  It doesn't matter how he's getting it into his blood stream - shooting up, snorting, swallowing.
He's making excuses to you, at the very least, and probably himself, too.
*You can't make him stop*.  The only thing you can control is *you*.  Get thee to an Al-anon, lady.

I've been on both sides of the addiction fence - User and co-dependant.  You really need help of your very own, m'dear.
I'm so glad you found these boards.  I hope we can ease things for you a little.

I'm warming up to go through my own detox.  I'm scared, frankly.  I've come off of Vicodin before, but never after taking so much for so long.  I'm weaning down, will find some way to obtain Buprenex, and I'm reading every single one of these posts.  Over, and over and over.
Thank you *all* so much for your presence in my life.  I hope I can return to each of you what you've given me, including the kick start I got when I tripped over this board a few days ago.  You've given me the drive to do what's been in the back of my head.  Now it's in the front.  

Thank you again.
Avatar universal
I feel for you, what you are going thru is probobly equal to what he is---and like you now know,it's only the beginning.
The Withdrawal time frame seems to depend on 1) how much you were taking and 2) for how long 3) if he has ever tried quiting before. (most people don't make it the first time they try)
If he was taking all of the above *oxys included, I would guess he has a fairly long term /highdose addiction--if it includes 1-2 years of oxy abuse 80-200 mg a day then your in for a ruff ride.
Iv'e read and heard it takes about 30 days to rid your body of any trace of the hydrocodone or oxycodone--the 1st week you sleep, the next 3 you can't,that just makes it so much worse. If you can get the Dr. to perscribe a sleep med like soma or zanax--a 2 wk supply only--and only YOU know where the pills are! That would help, but be careful they are also addictive and must be used in moderation (we addicts are realllll good about getting the co-dependents to give us just one of the pills that are hidden -"PLEASE"
The depression comes after the sleep sets in , that lasts, from experienve and reading this foram about 30 days for each year you were addicted to oxys-- an SRI (anti depressant) will probobly help, but I truly belive if he is going to make it , he will need to start going to NA ir AA meetings and like the others have said YOU need to go to a meeting and meet others who are going thru the same thing and experts who will help you understand what he is up against. It's going to be hard for both of you, but you will probobly have to be the tuff one and will have to grit your teeth and take some **** andfor sure listen to some anger.
It is a blessing for him that he has a wonderful wife who has stuck with him and is now going to help him thru the next year.
Someone to hold him,comfort him and help him through this truly awful time. If you give all you can AND expect nothing back for 6 months, things will start getting back to normal.
There is also a detox med called Bupernex, it can be hard to find and it is injected. It is a wonderful drup to help during the real ruff 1st month or two (but not more than that it's addictive too.) Good luck to you. You must have a beautiful heart--mabey when your husband is feeling better he would like to post--it helps a lot, thepeople her are the best
God bless you, keep the faith.
Avatar universal
12 day's cold turkey , things are going ok.
IM just taking the receipe, it's working great for me.
I think anyone who tries it should do it for a whole week.
Like it is suggested. I know my wife is the type of person
who would try it for 1 or 2 day's and give up on it and say it did not work. Give yor self a break and try it as suggested.
Any way on my 4th day taking it i started to have feelings like i have not had for years. I was driving my car and the song's on thr radio sounded better, the tree's and nature it self  seemed to be comming alive. because i have been so numb for so long, Im somentally and emotionaly
uplifted, i just wanted to get out of my car go play frisbee.
For me a 43 year old grandfather these type of feelings have been far removed for the last 4 year's.
thanks to skipper and everyone who turned me on to this recipe.
Also thank,s to all for sharing thier struggles an pain and also theier hopes. I truly am grateful. I am a hard core addict went to my 1st NA meeting in 1975 back then i got 6 months , when the spring time came everyboby used , so did i, i thought i would be back to meeting's in a week or two. But it was like an under tow
Iwas gone for 8 years.
i heard some one asking about normal people , I was told one time
the definition of a normal person was ONE PERSONALTY OR LESS.
Well that's not me.
Most addicts are the best at somthing, like the very best.
What are you the best at.
most addicts are collector's ,what do you collect.
addiction is either ONE EXTREEM OR THE OTHER.
MY wife once siad to me 10 reasons why addicts USE.
My dad is 75years old  an has 35 years sober in aa
his sponser has 47 years sober. my  dad had new job evrey 6 months for years his sponser had the same job for 40 years =
Avatar universal
i am in the process of helping my best friend kick his oxy habit, and i am scared, and not really sure what to do to help him.  i know later today, he is going to start getting really really sick, and i just want to know if anyone knows what i can do to help out what he is going through
Avatar universal
quiting oxcotin can be most difficult.
How much was he taking. can he taper down , or is he set on just quiting cold turkey.

If he is just going to quit , he needs to get a vitamaine called l-TYROSINE take 8 500mg tab a day the first week.
take 2 B-6 tabs
cal maginsuim   and a multi vitamin
vit. a and vit c

                    THE TYROSINE AND B6 seem to be the most imoortant.  
if he get the runn's get some imodium asap. so he does not lose all the nutreints in his body. if that happens  it is quite painful     PS and read all the post through this site
Avatar universal
thank you for getting back to me.  he wants to just quit cold turkey, but cant be sick and miss work, so we are trying to find out the best way to do it.  he is up to about 60 mg a day, but also has taken some dilladin pills.  and idea what would be the best way to go about this?
Avatar universal
stay positive ,keep posting and read all the post you can.
we are all here for ya, we are all traveling down this rocky road
together.  your in my prayers .  
Avatar universal
I have been taking Vicodin for about 2-3 years...500 mg...between 4-6 tabs daily.  I am taking them for the pain associated with fibromyalgia.  I started doing some research and realized how addictive they are.  So, now the struggle of coming off of them.  After reading all the posts, I am not sure what to expect.  I am going to taper down...taking three tabs a day.  Any other suggestions?  Thanks in advance.

Avatar universal
Thanks so much for your reply.  I will give it a good try.  This is day two of tapering....have had a headache...just kind of not feeling well....but I know with God's help I can lick this.

Avatar universal
after you   taper down you can expect withdrawl symptoms
body aches , general diccomfort, depression, lack of energy.
the runs and more. you can find more info throughout the fourm.
Im clean 16 day,s and ive been taking imodium for the run's
drinkink a lot of water.
im taking the reciepe as advised on this fourm.
L-tyrosine 8 aday the 1st week then 3 a day week 2.
along with 2 tab's of b-6 a day
cal/magnisum. vit A / vit c/ copper/magnese/zinc.
well it's been a life saver for me. I take banna's for leg spasam's they contain potasiumand a natraul source of l-tyrosine.
gatorade is good to help replenish any lost electolites due to the runs.
another problem is  the inabilty to get any sleep, once you stop taking all med's.  
good luck and really give it  a 100% it works.    peace.
Avatar universal
well here i go again. just cant seem to stay off the pain med no matter how hare i try. I am so tired of lying to family and friends. I just want to give it all up and quit trying. if i stay in on the stuff at least i know what i will be doing the next day. I know i dont make sense right now i'm so upset. is there anyonw who can help me? all i want to do is get high and stay there. is there any hopw for a helpless addict as me? I am tired of trying.
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