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Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
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16651964 tn?1450072251

When will I lose the desire to want to take them? Or how do I?

I am a college student studying to become a Physicans assistant like I have always wanted to be since 5 years old and in 9th grade I had some horrible injuries happen to me where I was on pain killers during that time and I was in and out of the hospital until I graduated. I am now in college and I can go long periods of time without taking anything but when I have a bottle I will finish it very fast. I don't want to feel like this my whole life. Why do I have it in me to want to take them? I think that pretty much everybody likes the feeling when they take a opioid but why why why do I always feel like this? I realize that if I'm ever at somebodies house and they have a full bottle I will take like 1 or 2 just because? Help me, I hate this so much.
2 Responses
Avatar universal
Welcome to the forum. I remember at the beginning of my usage asking that same question over and over: what is wrong w/ me??? The answer is: we are addicts.

Being an addict doesn't just "go away." It will get worse and worse until you have no life left. You need outside help like we all do. Firstly, you will have to keep away from pills. Most importantly, I would talk to a counselor and go to an NA or even AA meeting. Everyone in there understands and has had the exact same desire as you. It does go away, but only w/ a lot of hard work in a recovery program.
Avatar universal
Hi  and welcome....I agree with jifmoc  I lived in active addiction for 35years  it is a progressive disease that only gets worst with time  it was the last 15yrs that brought me to my knees with the pills I to sat and wondered how long it would take until the desire to use would go away.....it wasent till I hit the rooms of N/A that my life started to change by working the progam going to meetings I lost that desire to use....something I thought was impossible....the real key here is you need to treat the addict that still lives in your head long after the pills stop.....this will not magically go away on its own it takes work  but with time and the progam you no longer have to be a slave to this disease  you sound young  you have 2 choices you can let this disease keep resefacing in your life or get help  I only wish I had done it wile I was young google a N/A meeting in your area and go you got nothing to loose and a amazing life to gain........Gnarly
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