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Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
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Avatar universal

Who am I?

Hi Guys, Made an appt. with an addiction counselor today for Friday morning. I ahve so much anxiety about it because i feel like i have been a fake for so long, i dont even know where to start. the image i always have portrayed is i am the "martha Stewart" that always has it together. Today (day 8) i  dont even know who i am...crazy isnt it at 43?!  anywho, just venting here and wondering if anyone has had the same face as i have had for so long and have learned to just be you? thanks!!
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495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
I thought i was Mighty Isis when i was using.  I wasnt.  Pills give us a false sense of security.  The real you will come back and you will life that person.  Nothing better than looking in the mirror and liking the person that is looking back at you.  Good for you on getting aftercare.  That is so vital to our success.  Congrats on 8 days!!!        sara
Avatar universal
Way to go on those 8 days and kudos to you for making an appointment with an addiction counsellor, that should help so much.

Drugs change us for sure, but it's crazy how in active use we can't see it. Your so early in recovery right now and it's baby steps at first. Recovery is also about finding ourselves again, for many of us, it's like a rebirth. Enjoy the wild ride, you have a lot to look forward to:)
Avatar universal
Hey all, Thanks so much for the words of encouragement! I cant tell you guys how much this board has helped me in the last 5 days!

Blu, thanks too for the heads up. The counseler i am going to see practices in a very unorthodox kind of way. She is a Christian woman who has come highly recommened by 2 people i know and trust. She doesnt have a typical practice, as she does this out of her home. We spoke briefly this mornign as she quit her day job to help people as she felt this is her "calling". She doesn't even have a "fee" for counseling. She said that whatever I am led to give her is enough. She relies on God in a very "religious" way to provide.

I am hoping she can help me stay clean and help me to understand why i do what i dont want to do. I will def keep in mind what you have said.

Thanks again. You are all very inspirational to me and have helped me stay strong.
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495284 tn?1333894042
City of Dominatrix, MN
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phoenix, AZ
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