Why Stop Taking Opiates?

[lisacolombo]

Here is my problem, I am being treated with oxycontin for about four years now for an old back injury by my doctor. I find that I have much more energy more focused and more open towards others. This is truly not denial, I have been promoted to a senior management position on the job, I have written a software program, which I was able to market and sell for a lot of money. It only becomes a problem when I run out. I realized I had a problem when I came up short one month and I could not function and had your classic symptoms. To be total honest I do not want to quit but refuse to go to the streets and spend my hard earned money on drugs. What do I do?

[P&SAF]

Sounds like your husband is going to need help with his addiction.  Doesn't sound like he can or will do it alone.  Also, he's got to be the one to decide that he's hit rock bottom and do something about it.  My opinion I guess.  My husband nagged me and I just resented him even more.  Of course he heard a lot of denial too.  I think it's just like alcoholism you know?  He has to admit that he's addicted and decide for himself that he his.  I just know that my husband made it worse for me because I was already feeling like a bad person and he was just enforcing that.  The only thing that made me decide to quit was my pain doctor cutting me off of the pain meds.  Fortunately I hadn't gotten to the stealing of pills but I sure did ask friends for them if "they weren't going to use them".  You know, "didn't want them to go to waste".  Fortunately I have a very forgiving husband.  I don't know if playing the "touch love" card will work with your husband.  I guess it's different for everyone on what finally "gets" to them, but because of my experience, I would try to be understanding.  Still nag but understand that it's that addictive chip that most of us have for anything and it's not something that we had a choice on.  (the addictive chip that is).  I wish you good luck and hope he sees the light soon.
P&S

[P&SAF]

Awesome posts and good on you Lisa!  You should feel very proud of what you've accomplished over the short timeframe and your will power.  How does taking the one pill at 9 AM make you feel?  Is it the "high" or "confidence" that it gives you?  Or is it actually relieving pain?  I'm going through a similiar situation and I wonder if just the one pill will stay at one pill.  If being taken for pain?  Have you noticed your memory has been affected now that you're off the big doses?  And your intellect as posted by Avallonmist?  Sounds like you were on the pain meds about the same amount of time as myself.  Do you have any problems with concentration?  Or the lack thereof?
Interested in your progress.  Kudos to you!
P&S

[MO811]

I'm in a similar situation w/my husband. Unfortunately, I don't know how far it's gotten.. how many he takes a day... We had an argument in May about him buying vicodin from his friend (which took almost 3 wks of investigating because he wouldn't fess up).  I recently found a bottle of morphine 4 mg and a label for a rx refill under his mom's name who has many medical issues.  I spoke to my mother-in-law and she called her pharmacy who sure enough said she just filled Vicodin on 10/7 when she really hadn't.  I'm so upset because he promised me in May that for our family (we have a 1 yr old) he was going to stop. I saw him go through physical withdrawals then, but I can't believe he's going back to it now.  What do I do?  I don't want to be babysitting the rest our lives.  I'm so concerned. I'm waiting for him to come home from work to confront him... =/

[mm27]

your story is somewhat like mine without the promotions and what not.  But the energy level and openess with others was great.  I am on day 13 of CT.  I do miss the extra pep and pleasure i felt but i enjoy not worrying about getting vicodin at a high cost and the felling that i am taking control of my life again without drugs.  I was taking 20-30 most days closer to 30 and some days almost 40 vicodin 750 ES.  At $3-$4 per pill you do the math.  It will ruin your life because all you can think about is where am i going to get my next pills and how will i pay for them.  not only will you experiance terrible withdrawals you will eventually start spending money on drugs that should go to family things, house payments, you name it you will eventually get there.  I was to the point that i had to take 4-5 right when I woke up or I could not function.  If i were to sleep in past 9-10 am I would wake up in sweats and shivering until I took my pills.  Its no way to live.  No matter what you think It WILL GET WORSE.  Please try to stop now before it gets too late.  Good Luck.

[lisacolombo]

Hey all, hope this finds you all well, happy and clean, it has been a while. Since my last post I am down to one OC (1x30MG) at 9AM everyday no more no less. I will be at one for a while I do not see a clean life in the near future but do not read my failure as uninspiring  to those who are trying to get clean.

[TysonRed]

Just wanted to stop by say it sounds like your doing a good job with the tapering, if Im correct you've gone from about 100-140mgs of oxy to about 20mgs daily which I know from experience isnt easy to do for most people. I myself have always been a tapering person, sometimes its a struggle to not give in but I found that I do possess the will power to sustain a tapering schedule. Most of my drug use was with oxycontin which led to methadone(big mistake for me), got clean a few times but it never lasted. The last go around I went the suboxone route rather than tapering down off 140mgs of methadone. Theres so many posts to your question that I got a little confused about whether you were going the suboxone route or getting ready to quit at the 2 perc's/day. If your really at that low of a dose then honestly I would just go for it, for me the physical part of w/d's from oxy really only lasted anywhere from about 4-7days, which when you look back it really is the easiet part about getting clean, the staying clean dealing with cravings, no energy, lack of motivation has always been the hardest part but with time is really does get better. Like I said I got a little lost about exactly where your at but I basicly I just wanted you to know that you can do this, try to stay positive and realize that this will only benefit you down the road, because if you keep taking the pills they will eventually turn on you and ruin everything that youve worked so hard for. Its been a major adjustment for me being sober, but Ive found with living a healthier lifestyle, excercising, eating healthy meals, drinking lots of water, I can honestly say that my body and mind have never felt better. I have more energy now than pills ever gave me, the hard part is having the patience to allow our bodies to fully heal themselves. I wish you all the best, its sounds like your doing well. Best of luck to you, keep up the good work, stay positive and determined and you can get through this. Take Care!

[Rupp86]

whats up lisa? glad to hear your doin good.  I'm at 21 days now feelin better than ever.  Excedrin actually works wonders.  The only non-narcotic ive found that helped with pains and RLS.  Anyways keep it up!  Best of luck

[Avallonmist]

I know reading this is hard and you're probably desperately searching for one of us to give you an answer that will let you keep the pills and live sober...I know... I looked for that answer too, about 3 years ago.
Now you're coming up short every month; and let me guess, your ran out faster this time than last time..mm?  You have choices; they aren't fun choices, but they are available. 1. You can go to your Dr. and let her/him help you come off. Most Dr.s will help their patients through withdrawal.  
2. You can check into rehab and probably have the most success via that route.  3. You can quit cold turkey...(disclaimer, I'm not a Dr.so, if you go this route, tell someone, don't do it alone !!!)
But if you stay on this road eventually you'll find yourself doing things you never thought you would.  After you have exhausted all of your resources, you will go where ever you have to to get the drugs.  I promise you I'm not being condescending; scholastically you're smarter  than I am; but, I'm speaking from experience.  That's another thing, the pills will begin to affect your memory and your intellect.
Please get help now.  It sounds to me like you were reaching out and a lot of people on this site care about you because we have all been down this road ourselves.  It is a hard, hard road;but, you will be the better for it when you get clean.  I wish you luck,  and hope everything works out wonderfully for you.
)O( Avallon )O(

[sobermommy]

I hope that you are able to make the decision for yourself. The others are right when they say you have to be ready or it will never work. It is one of the truest things ever. So when you are ready...you will know. You have a great support system here when the time is right for you. Best of luck you you.

[lisacolombo]

I think the activity is because we all asked ourselves that question as to why should I quit, it is still a decision I am struggling with, I have more focus and more energy on than how I am now. Right now it is a $15 cost for a month supply, I have been reading where people have been paying upwards to 20 a pill from the street right know I pay for my health coverage which covers pretty much all of it.    

It is like the commercial with the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other. The devil is saying as long as you can sustain your inventory of pills until the next doctor visit why stop? The angel is saying that you are starting to lose control, you have a great family, awesome job and why even jeopardize it.

Now that I have more control with lowering my daily dosage, I am seeing that this is something I can do with stopping, but I see that big hurdle in front of me which is WD and it is scary. Right now I am taking it day by day and I am just not ready to make that jump, I know this shows weakness but I lowered my daily dosage by 80% in a 24hr period and it has been sustained for almost a week, I think a couple of more weeks like this will help me build up the confidence. Really I am in maintenance mode, I do not want to get high I just do not want to get sick.

[sobermommy]

Lisa...wow what an amazing group of supporters you have here. This is a very intense post but you have received great advice, support and encouragement. I wish you all the best. I hope for your sake that you are able to set yourself free from the pills. I couldn't help noticing thoughout this post you mentioned several times that you have a great job and didn't want to spend your hard earned money on pills when you ran out at the end of the month. Just a random thought....haven't you already been spending your hard earned money on the scripts and doctor bills...etc???? I hope the day comes soon when you truly don't have to spend another single dime of your money on pills. Your life will be so much better. Best of luck to you...God bless...Lynn

[lisacolombo]

Wow 21 days, must feel nice, stay the path, I will look to start posting my days clean Monday after next, planned a week of vacation, will just shut down next Friday night and suck it up. I will have my significant with pocketing some for me, again it just helps with the anxiety. Having them at your disposal has its pros and cons, right now I have been stretching the hours in between, telling myself I can wait it out and I have. My mind set is that I do not want to get high I just do not want to get sick!

[RoxiMan2009]

Take your time if you have goals you need to accomplish this week then do it. But stay on track and youll be fine. You sound like a totally different person from last week and im proud youve stepped up. Nothing bad can come from doing this. Only good. And you will succeed. OCD isnt such a bad thing when it comes to getting clean. However, please do think about aftercare and getting some professional help too. I know your a strong person but mentally it is going to be a killer after. I have no problem detoxing from 600 mg roxy a day but man am I struggling mentally. Everyday is a challenge and youve got to be strong. Goodluck

[lisacolombo]

Well I know I suffer from OCD and that is how I found myself in this predicament. I have engulfed myself in my work and I am currently developing another sw app so that is where all my focus has been. As long as I keep myself busy I am fine, the fear I have is suffering from WD like symptoms in the near term as I will be presenting my scope of work to the president of our firm  mid-week of next and I need to be on my game. The good part is that all the meds have been coming from one doctor so once I feel I am well enough I will inform him of my abuse and cut me off, I just need to keep that option open for now as it helps with the anxiety, I would have no idea how to get my hands on the drug after that, like buying from the streets. At my firm we have EASE program which helps employees with additions, mental issues, etc…., however how confidential it maybe, it is not but, I am thinking of walking into the office telling them I have a problem and they will keep me on the books and send me away to get clean. But I am high on the food chain in the organization and do not want to be labeled, I made a good name for myself and have been with the firm for over 20 yrs (hired me as a mail clerk right out of high school) and have worked myself all the way to VP of  Performance Planning and at 38yrs old, I am gunning for EVP my the time I am forty. Next to my family my career is all I have and I will not jeopardize either one. I have got to be honest, when I found this web site I thought it was bull$hit but it really has helped me, the advise I have received has helped me get this far, and the support from everyone (ie: peaceinknowing, dominosarah, rupp and all theothers) else is really nice. My significant other has been very supportive as well, I just feel so bad between the opiates, being in  bad mode and taking it out on them.

The best advise was from peaceinknowing with her saying “nothing bad can come from getting off the pill” as crazy as that may sound it is a big motivator! Thank you for that one!

[RoxiMan2009]

Lisa, Very glad to here your progress. If we died today and went to hell, we'd be in the exact same spot. Its hell. But your doing good tapering and soon youll be able to drop them all together. It takes time and pain but youll pull thru. And don't forget the damn aftercare because of how busy you are your going to have cravings like a mf. But if you can handle them mentally youll be fine. And keep us updated on here and let us know how ya feel. Try ibuprofen too for the pain that helps the most esp. if you take a few. And start the thomas recipe as soon as you can get it that was a huge part of my detox. Im day 20 today and im telling you I feel normal again. I have cravings, some anxiety, and a little depression but I can take that over the option of taking synthetic heroin everyday. Its plain disgusting once you are clear and sit back and look at it. Youll be twice the person in no time. Do NOT give in. ;)

[lisacolombo]

Just taking it day by day, been able to lower my in take to two perc’s a day since this past Saturday and supplement my habit taking with Excedrin. The second I sense the slightest tinkling of pain I use the Excedrin. Morning is the worst, do not have that burst of energy anymore but the one pill keeps me from WD like symptoms. Think I would like to sustain this for the next couple of days and starting Monday start to skip a day.

[peaceinknowing]

I just read the post from top to bottom and was just wondering if you'd come up with a plan of action yet for all of this?

[dominosarah]

Here is a link to the Thomas Recipe.........

http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/Thomas-Recipe-and-How-to-Detox-off-of-Opiates/show/547?cid=66

[lisacolombo]

Can you send me a link or any info in the "thomas recipe", I have not kicked it entirely but I have lowered my intake from 10 a day to 2 a day so that the WD is not as bad,I have filled my habit with Excedrin as I do suffer from some post surgery pain and I told the Doctor who did the surgery what I was doing. He is helping me thru this (not the same doc who was writing my other script). My biggest fear is that I have some VERY high level meetings for a project I just picked up at my investment firm and I am afraid that the energy I had that got me to where I am will expose me at work. To prove a point that drugs can impact anyone I hold a very high level position, very respectful six figure salary and I worked too hard to get where I am to have a dime come out of my pocket to pay for a pill, everything I have gotten my hands on was from doctors and the current doc I have is very easy to trick in getting more pills.

Being a little more sober I realized that the one of the major contributors to a bad WD is the anxiety of not being able to get your hand on the pills with x amount of days between scripts. I have comforted myself in that this next script is not that far away but you are not going to pick it up, but it is there if I need it to sustain myself in the weaning process. The doctor who is giving me my advise is telling me it is very hard to stop at 10 pills a day, take it down to 2 where I would take a pill replace it with Excedrin as the pain will not remind me that I want to take a pill and it has helped a lot as I do not have any craving and the opiate is only wanted when I start WD. So there is one in the morning to get rid of the cold sweats which have gotten better day over day and will probably take it to a half tomorrow. I will probably be on pain meds for the rest of my life with the arthritis getting worse (especially damp days). I think I am heading in the right direction in recognizing I have a problem and dealing with it, my plans are to start Monday with one pill every other day and take it from there. I mean really how long does it take for the opiates to get out of your system?

[RoxiMan2009]

Yea i feel like i could write a ******* book of my experiences on opiates the past 4 years. Ha ive calculated that I have done about 30,000 roxicet 30s over my time. Theres something wrong with that seeing im 23 years old. I am lucky to be here today. And I am very thankful.

[whitie]

dude, good job and keep up the fight. in a while you are going to wake up in the morning and say damn............I FORGOT WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE NORMAL !!!

you should paste that, adjust it and put it in one of your journals on your profile.  I can relate to alot of it, so can many others here.


lisa, take mr.lucky's advise, IMO.

[RoxiMan2009]

DOWN WITH THE PILLS, DOWN WITH THE PILLSsss

[RoxiMan2009]

Lisa, Im 23 years old and I had been using 30 mg A 215's for 4 years. It all started off in good fun as a recreational user i would do 1 at a time every few days. Well ****, I loved the way it made me feel and I started taking them on a regular basis. You may think that you can take the same dosage everyday and feel the same effects, but this is sooo wrong. I started taking them everyday and continued this for 4 years through college. I felt like I was superman and was able to get up for class everyday and party and get good grades and girls everything. By the 2nd year I was using 10 pills per day and started to really become sucked in. I realized I had a problem and tried to quit numerous times using suboxone, c/t, and it never worked. I always had access to pills and I couldn't be that person I was without them. So I continued my usage and by my senior year I was taking 15-25 30mg pills per day. Yes, I am not kidding. I am 5,9 160 pounds and thats what it took to keep me "normal" By normal I mean not in w/d and hardly even high. I had to start selling them just to support my habit and was able to get my self into a major debt ($10,000 within a year). I began giving up on all the things that once mattered to me such as hobbies, going out, my family and esp. my personal well-being and health. I worked out everyday for 7 years and I gave up on that like it was nothing. It was my senior year that I hit rock bottom. I lost my girlfriend who was everything in the world to me and had helped me for so long with my addiction. I lost so many friends that I once had that were sick of my "addict" ways and always being either high or w/d. I began to do bad in school and stopped attending classes. I could no longer afford to take my pills even with making hundreds of dollars a day. I even resorted to using IV Heroin becuz it was cheaper and gave me the fix I needed to be me. Understand that I thought i would NEVER touch such a thing and I took to it like it was bubblebum. And to be honest what really gave me a wake-up call was just seeing how quickly the people were changing that were starting them around me. And it was at that point I realized everything I had accomplished, everything i had felt, everything that was so great to me was all an illusion. Yes it happen, but it wasn't me. You may feel like your normal but you dont realize how much these change the chemistry of your brain. Well I ended up making it thru the year barely and graduated. I moved 600 miles away and escaped the world that was once my home. I had no options left, I lost so much lisa you have no idea. I come from a good family and I am a good kid that just got taken away by the drug. I went c/t from a 600mg a day habit w/ the help on my family who for the first time in 4 years i came clean with. I must say that that was the best feeling Ive ever had and I regret to this day I waited so long to do so. Anyways, I am now 18 days clean sober. I did not use suboxone but used a recipe called the "thomas recipe" which contains many diff vitamins. I found that this helped me a great deal. The first few days are going to be hell I wont lie to you. Those little blue devils are the worst of there kind. The absolute most important part for people like me and you is aftercare. Yea I got through withdrawals near killed me and I feel like Id rather shoot myself then ever go thru that again however once your clean for so long you forget and you use. Or if you have a really bad day or someone dies or whatever we arent able to handle it without them because of how our brains have adjusted. You need to attend NA's meetings, you need to be active on this site or others, and you need to have a professional help you. I was never a depressed person. I have become a walking zombie. I dont know where or what I am doing anymore. I dont wake up and blow a pill that puts a smile on my face anymore. I don't have superman powers and I have realized just how bad it all was. You will not realize it fully until your head is clear of those ******* things. If there is anything in this world I love more than being high on those pills but I will NEVER go back. It does not matter who you are, what your tolerence is, why you think you need them. We all will end up in the same exact place. If I had used this website before and realized how many people have these problems and how much of a problem it really is, I would have quit earlier. Use the fact that you came to this site as a grace of god and take it as a sign. I would love to live a life of taking pills everyday and feeling great but it is not POSSIBLE. YOU WILL HIT BOTTOM. Your family, your job, your friends, your money, your soul. I have never in my life felt so clear headed and disgusted with what I had done to myself. I have cravings everyday and depression is just downright awful. But at the end of the day, I look at myself in the mirror (pupils scarying me at normal size) ha, I realize that its me again. And waking up in the morning and not having to take a artificial drug just to start my ******* day is the BEST feeling, high, you will ever feel. I am lucky to be here today and I had so many close calls with OD's and at with my habit I should be dead. I may have lost all that I did but I am back and I am sober. I am ready to start life as a regular 23 year old and take some ******* responsibilities in this world. Your gunna have to get that monkey off your back sooner or later lisa and we are all here to help you. Please please listen to me and don't follow the rest of our paths. We aren't on this website for ***** and giggles its part of our every therapy. We all need each other and we all use each others experiences to guide our own. I hope that you take this serious I am not trying to scare you but only promise you that youve got to much going for u to lose it all. You are going to need to take some time off work. Don't even try to go to work on a day 1 or 2 w/d or youll just relapse. Take the time, the effort and have a positive attitude that you will overcome this. This to shall pass they say. Remember that everyday will be better than the last. Good luck to you and if you decide on subo, be very careful with it and make sure you do LOTS of research before you start it.

[sid3]

That's a very good point. Not to mention the money that it brings in to the drs. most seem to over prescribe. I personally have more faith in the drs that use it as a short term medication to help an addict get both feet on the road to recovery