Aa
is this addiction or something else.
im not really sure what this is and why i am the way i am so i came here to figure out whats going on with me i guess id like some comments an what yall think is up with me
the drugs ive done most are pot and opiates but ive also done alot of xtc and some meth. every thing else i either havnt tried or didnt like enough to waste money on it
i really dont think i do that much drugs but i spent practically all the money i get for last 2 or more years on gettin high. right now it takes me 30 vicodin at once to get high (i CWE so no liver failure) even at 30 pills i dont nod off or any off the stuff i love about opiates. im really upset i cant get high off pills anymore cuz i lost the heroin connect so now i can only afford to get high off of vicodin. pills are way too expensive and i can only afford to get high like once a month off em. yeah i dont do drugs often now that i dont sell. i feel like an addict without any resources to actually be a real addict.
i want to do right ya know? i od'ed at 16 off xtc, got expelled, lost jobs, and failed college and because of all that it closed the doors to the careers i actually want like military or cop and stuff. i feel like theres no careers left that id ever want and i feel like ill be stuck in a crap job and be miserable whole life.
i think what it really is, is i want to want to quit. i cant go 30 min without gettin high entering my mind. i cant get a job and colleges wont take me.
this will sound crazy but i been thinking of just leaving parents house and just go live on the streets because id make more panhandling and stuff then what i do now and i get stuff for cheaper probally too. i live in LA and i thought about being a holywood bum. ive always been so unmotivated and lazy my whole life i really cant see myself not ending up homeless soon anyways. i want to succede in life but i also like getting high...
i really dont even enjoy being high that much as i expect. everytime i get opiates or meth ill be all anxious to get high and hope its gonna be the best ive ever felt. its like an itch i cant scratch and evrytime it makes me feel like a wasted my money after but i still pick up and do it again later. ive usually gotten really good stuff too but its like i always expect the drugs to do more than they actually can do if that makes sense. i really dont think im an addict cuz i hardly get high but i spend all my money on it. lately ive been hanging with gangs and dangerous people. im kind of attracted to criminal lifestyle and the homies been wanting me to help them with robberies and stuff but i been holdin out. i know soon id get fed up with not having money and just go career criminal so i can really start affording stuff again.
basically i came here to hear what yall think about my situation. i really wanna have that white picket fence life but i dont know how im going to change
the drugs ive done most are pot and opiates but ive also done alot of xtc and some meth. every thing else i either havnt tried or didnt like enough to waste money on it
i really dont think i do that much drugs but i spent practically all the money i get for last 2 or more years on gettin high. right now it takes me 30 vicodin at once to get high (i CWE so no liver failure) even at 30 pills i dont nod off or any off the stuff i love about opiates. im really upset i cant get high off pills anymore cuz i lost the heroin connect so now i can only afford to get high off of vicodin. pills are way too expensive and i can only afford to get high like once a month off em. yeah i dont do drugs often now that i dont sell. i feel like an addict without any resources to actually be a real addict.
i want to do right ya know? i od'ed at 16 off xtc, got expelled, lost jobs, and failed college and because of all that it closed the doors to the careers i actually want like military or cop and stuff. i feel like theres no careers left that id ever want and i feel like ill be stuck in a crap job and be miserable whole life.
i think what it really is, is i want to want to quit. i cant go 30 min without gettin high entering my mind. i cant get a job and colleges wont take me.
this will sound crazy but i been thinking of just leaving parents house and just go live on the streets because id make more panhandling and stuff then what i do now and i get stuff for cheaper probally too. i live in LA and i thought about being a holywood bum. ive always been so unmotivated and lazy my whole life i really cant see myself not ending up homeless soon anyways. i want to succede in life but i also like getting high...
i really dont even enjoy being high that much as i expect. everytime i get opiates or meth ill be all anxious to get high and hope its gonna be the best ive ever felt. its like an itch i cant scratch and evrytime it makes me feel like a wasted my money after but i still pick up and do it again later. ive usually gotten really good stuff too but its like i always expect the drugs to do more than they actually can do if that makes sense. i really dont think im an addict cuz i hardly get high but i spend all my money on it. lately ive been hanging with gangs and dangerous people. im kind of attracted to criminal lifestyle and the homies been wanting me to help them with robberies and stuff but i been holdin out. i know soon id get fed up with not having money and just go career criminal so i can really start affording stuff again.
basically i came here to hear what yall think about my situation. i really wanna have that white picket fence life but i dont know how im going to change
hows it going? do you find a meeting in your area.
religion is different than believing in and trusting in the LORD. i dont think i am religious i just love the LORD and hope and trust in HIM and HE does answer prayer. i have a whole list of prayers HE has answered do you care to know how HE has worked in my life?
religion is different than believing in and trusting in the LORD. i dont think i am religious i just love the LORD and hope and trust in HIM and HE does answer prayer. i have a whole list of prayers HE has answered do you care to know how HE has worked in my life?
Ice Ice Ice you seem like an intelligent person, go back and read you own post you are in serious peril. If you don't stop druggin and hangin with the gangsters you will most likley end up at the coroners table. You are a young man and have your whole life ahead of you and you can reverse the dangerous course you are on now. Please Please Please I implore you to come and talk to us here we all want to help you. Sara is right going to NA isn't a crime plus it is completly anonymous so think about what we have all said to you and I hope you make the right decision. Also you say that God doesn't listen to your prayers did you ever think you don't listen to his answers? Think about it. God Bless----Rick
COMMUNITY LEADER
Going to NA isnt a crime so your record wont be affected. If you dont do something about this you will have a record. Addiction takes us places only the devil travels if death doesnt come first. There is no happy ending to this. Please really think about what we are saying. We have been there and we dont want to see you waste your life. You deserve to live and you are worth it~~~sara
N/A is anonymous no it has nothing to do w/ur record.Look ur about30seconds away from being dead.Ur hanging around crappy people,ur willing2b homeless by choice etc.Ur gonna start robbing and doing crazy UNNECESSARY things.U need to look n2long term in house rehab.It will save ur life,GIVE U UR LIFE BACK.No u will FINALLY have a REAL LIFE.U seem very bright u know this is not a life and u need to realize ur worth it u deserve to b happy.It sounds like u have no idea what being happy is.U deserve2know that.As for religion.When u head down this road god.can't fix u.U need to start the work and he will help u keeping it going when u FINALLY start making positive changes.I feel like theres some sort of history behind the way u feel,how little u feel like u deserve etc.
no offense but i stopped caring about religeon along time ago. dont say its not true. its just a waste of time to pray cuz it neve comes true anyways. cant think of anything i got from prayers.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi and welcome to the forum~~
You dont have to be a prisoner to these drugs anymore. There is help out there and you can get your life back and have all the things you want. It takes alot of work but it is so worth it. Check into some sort of recovery care. NA/AA is free and there are meetings everywhere. You can do this. Now start fighting for you~~sara
You dont have to be a prisoner to these drugs anymore. There is help out there and you can get your life back and have all the things you want. It takes alot of work but it is so worth it. Check into some sort of recovery care. NA/AA is free and there are meetings everywhere. You can do this. Now start fighting for you~~sara
hello and welcome to MH. thank you for finding us.just by you looking online and posting shows that you are ready to seek help.
we are here to encourage you and give you hope and to tell you that you can be free from the lifestyle that you are now living.
yes you are an addict, you are chasing the high, it has already caused so much destruction in your life as such a young age. if you dont turn from your ways now, it will cause more destruction and possibly death. hanging out with gangs and dangerous people
i know that you understand that is not the way to go. it sounds like you are looking for acceptance.and love. already od'ed at 16.
thank the LORD ,HE spared your life you might not have the same chance again. dont leave your parents home, ask them to help you get your life back on track.go to an inpatient program, or you can detox and home and then for go for counseling, check into na/aa meetings, there are also many great church based groups, to help you in your recovery, salvation army, overcomers outreach, celebrate recovery. there are also intensive outpatient programs that meet 3 days a week. it is possible to have the white picket fence you have to fight with all you have in you to break away from the life you are now living.
go to a church and tell them you want to stop using drugs and they will pray for you and tell you about the love of the LORD, the LORD can deliver you from addiction you have to ask HIM to break the chains of bondage of addiction and you have to work hard to get and stay clean. IT IS POSSIBLE.
please continue to talk to us. we can help you.
sending hugs and prayers
debbie
we are here to encourage you and give you hope and to tell you that you can be free from the lifestyle that you are now living.
yes you are an addict, you are chasing the high, it has already caused so much destruction in your life as such a young age. if you dont turn from your ways now, it will cause more destruction and possibly death. hanging out with gangs and dangerous people
i know that you understand that is not the way to go. it sounds like you are looking for acceptance.and love. already od'ed at 16.
thank the LORD ,HE spared your life you might not have the same chance again. dont leave your parents home, ask them to help you get your life back on track.go to an inpatient program, or you can detox and home and then for go for counseling, check into na/aa meetings, there are also many great church based groups, to help you in your recovery, salvation army, overcomers outreach, celebrate recovery. there are also intensive outpatient programs that meet 3 days a week. it is possible to have the white picket fence you have to fight with all you have in you to break away from the life you are now living.
go to a church and tell them you want to stop using drugs and they will pray for you and tell you about the love of the LORD, the LORD can deliver you from addiction you have to ask HIM to break the chains of bondage of addiction and you have to work hard to get and stay clean. IT IS POSSIBLE.
please continue to talk to us. we can help you.
sending hugs and prayers
debbie
alright.
you asked the question " am i addicted? "....well think about this.
addiction is defined by behaviours that negatively affect one's life, even though one KNOWS it's negatively affecting said life, one keeps indulging in the same addictive behaviours all the same.
does this apply to you? from my standpoint, i would say yes. you're spending all your money, you're taking massive amounts of hydro at one time to achieve a high you say you're unable to get anymore, you're thinking about being homeless so you can make money to get the drugs you need, you're hanging out with gang members--and you know where that will lead, right?
Listen, you're a young man who is just starting life and while it seems that life ***** right now, things can/will get better. from reading your post you seem to be very intelligent, use that! i hate to see a young life wasted by addiction. there is NOTHING glamorous about it, NOTHING but misery!
please stick around and read this forum, you'll talk to good people who have been where you're heading. learn about addiction and what it does to a person's, mind, body and soul! is there anybody you can talk to? friends, family?
you asked the question " am i addicted? "....well think about this.
addiction is defined by behaviours that negatively affect one's life, even though one KNOWS it's negatively affecting said life, one keeps indulging in the same addictive behaviours all the same.
does this apply to you? from my standpoint, i would say yes. you're spending all your money, you're taking massive amounts of hydro at one time to achieve a high you say you're unable to get anymore, you're thinking about being homeless so you can make money to get the drugs you need, you're hanging out with gang members--and you know where that will lead, right?
Listen, you're a young man who is just starting life and while it seems that life ***** right now, things can/will get better. from reading your post you seem to be very intelligent, use that! i hate to see a young life wasted by addiction. there is NOTHING glamorous about it, NOTHING but misery!
please stick around and read this forum, you'll talk to good people who have been where you're heading. learn about addiction and what it does to a person's, mind, body and soul! is there anybody you can talk to? friends, family?
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