Why do I feel so alone? And misunderstood?

[seraphinarose]

I posted a few days ago about being 36 weeks pregnant and tapering off Norco... I am down to 3 of the 5 mg pills a day, which is really hard to do, but I am sticking to it because I don't want my baby to go through withdrawal.  I am just frustrated because I HAVE been honest and upfront with my doctors throughout my pregnancy... and was told Vicodin/Norco was relatively safe to take (Class C) during pregnancy, and I was in legitimate and severe pain from migraines and tension headaches (the hormones made them worse).  I remember being warned about needing to taper off of them in the third trimester to avoid possible withdrawal in the baby, but my doctors never made a plan to help me do that.  I finally saw a PM specialist, who is really an addiction specialist, today at the insistence of my OB and I felt somewhat categorized as an "addict"... not to say that I don't have a dependency on the meds, but who wouldn't after taking them for a year?  It is like once you are on pain meds, you are automatically categorized and the pain issue that led me to take the meds in the first place is not counted into the equation.  It is hard because there is a HUGE stigma to being pregnant and on ANYTHING,,, and I feel like there is no one that I can talk to about the shame and guilt I feel.  Thankfully my husband is supportive, but this is my first child and I feel like I "should" have been strong enough to not take any pain medicine, because now I can't get off of it!  It is taking everything I have to just take three pills a day, I am still uncomfortable and in pain.  And going to the PM doctor just made me feel worse!  He did tell me to stay on it, that withdrawing may be harder on the baby, but overall I still feel so alone... and I don't find the label of "addict" to be empowering, for me, right now.  It just makes me feel worse.  Yes, I was honest w/my doctors but now I feel like I am being labeled an addict and no one likes being labeled.

[Twigette]

I was on 110mgs of methadone when I had my daughter and felt every emotion you are going through. My daughter was born 8 weeks early , not because of the methadone. So she didnt have the last 8 weeks of exposure. But other women at my clinic have had full term babies with no withdrawals. I don't know about your state but in my state they hold the babies for 15 days when there is any medication that can cause withdrawals. They didn't when my daughter was born. But she was in the NICU for being a premie. But don't be surprised if they do hold the baby longer. Everything should be ok. Good luck.

[Sonrissa]

I can't imagine what that would be like getting a prescription for pain pills while 8 mos pregnant! (smile) but hey! Who cares right! I hate when people judge and they have no idea what someone is going through! I'm kind of evil in my thoughts and I could think of a few things you could say that would curl their hair! LOL

Take care sweetie! You are not alone here! Sending you tons of prayers and support! Keep posting and make sure to let us know how everything turns out ok! Congrats on the baby and being a good mommy!!

[seraphinarose]

Thank you, you are a sweetheart.  All I want is for my baby to be okay.  Don't get me wrong, I still crave the pills, but I am trying to distract myself.  I can't say that no one warned me that the pills were addictive, I just chose not to listen.  I kept taking them as long as the doctor approved the refills... but try picking up a prescription when you are 8 months pregnant!  It's a whole different story... in my heart, I have faith that my daughter will be okay as I have reduced my dosage by more than half and I know it is a very low dose, relatively speaking.  It just seems like by being honest with the doctors it brought more scrutiny to me, but I guess I just need to brush it off and feel secure in my own knowledge that I am a good person and I am going to be a good mother.  At least if she goes through some withdrawal the doctors are watching for it, better safe than sorry.

[Sonrissa]

Hi seraphina! I also wanted to offer you support! I understand how you feel! I don't have experience with pregnancy, but I do understand what it feels like when you think you have been labeled! Especially when the label carries such a negative connotation! I can remember very early on when I would take my prescription to the pharmacy and the pharmacist actually lectured me very loudly in front of a packed waiting area about what I was doing to myself and that I would become an addict! I was ashamed and humiliated! I know this doesn't really compare with your situation, but I felt the same way you do!

The most important thing is that your doctor is aware of what and how much you are taking! Your baby will be ok! Try to let the rest of it go! Try to look forward to seeing your baby, and to be happy and healthy! I wish you the very best! Please post here anytime you need some support! Others with more experience will weigh in soon! Take care!

[conhall]

I am so sorry you are going thru this I would say talk to your Doctor but as you have said you have and the doctor told you it was safe. I am glad you posted on here . I know someone with more experience with Pregnancy and  taking painmeds can give you better advice. I just wanted to offer you support I know you are scarred and worried about your baby. But telling your Dr. was what you needed to do and you did that. Stay positive and keep posting .