Why do I want pills when I get sad?

[throwindatowl]

Pills make me sad thats why I quit. Im signing divorce papers on friday and Im very sad about it. Bad timing but perfect timing. In my mind I play out the whole thing. Fight, sign papers get mad and sad then dont care and call for some pills. I wont. I am finding some strength. Im feeling sad and thats ok. I want that. I dont want to cover all this up cause it will come back to haunt me. Drugs cost me my marriage, kinda. Always two stories. Im just ready to get delt a bad hand and not run from it. Alot of tests I must pass, I must. Falling down agian isnt an option. Crying afew tears is for sure. Oh, on the bright side! Im clean today...Ahhhhh...Things could be worse.

[throwindatowl]

I will do it without the pills. Time. I wish I had a time machine. Im gonna stay positive or try too. Im so glad Im done with the wds. That would just be too much. Ill take  a divorce any day over wds. HA. I wish that were true...

[laurel453]

You will do it without the pills, it is a sad time, you can not feel but sad and you don't need anything else than yourself to live life on life's terms, throwin. You are stronger than those pills, we went for them to find an instant solution to whatever we were feeling, it is an automatic response also but you have broken this reaction and you don't need an instant poison to overcome whatever happens ... stay strong :)

[quitinoxys]

Sorry to hear about your divorce and it is a hard thing to get through. So let it all out and stay close to your support system and post post post it can be great therapy. I wish you luck and I am praying for you---Rick

[dominosarah]

I so understand those feelings!!   Stay close to the ones who are supportive during this time.          

[throwindatowl]

Thanks everyone. For the first time in along time even sadness isnt gonna be a reason to use. I need one last reason thats for sure. I have my home group meeting tonight and am really looking forward to it. I am relearning how to cope for sure. Ill let you guys know how friday goes. The end and a new beginning Im sad and really excited. Im free...

[dominosarah]

Im sorry to hear about your divorce.  That is rough to go thru.  Let yourself feel the emotions, its okay to do that and very healthy.        sara

[LeaAnn807]

Sorry to hear about what you are going through!  Divorce is ick.  I did it!  Time helps.  Drugs don't!!!!!!!! : )

Keep talking about it, and don't use anything to try to help your feelings go away.  That's the worst thing you could do!

Hang in there!

[duluthguy]

Im sorry to hear that! There is always a reason to relapse, that little devil even starts to bring up only the good times while on pills, can be overwhelming at times! But for me I have an out, a quick text to my wife or pastor, post on here, but never dwell on them thoughts. The memories of wd have started to fade, so I read my old posts and remind myself where I came from, especially the constant looking for more... I think gnarly said it this way, 1 is too many and 1000 aren't enough! So true, I could never have enough... 1 pill and I fall back to square 1, last time I quit I decided to get a little boost after 5 weeks, just one, I can handle it now... u know how it went from there- full steam ahead! Im rambling on here but you are in my thoughts n prayers, stay strong my friend!

[dede2121]

that's the way i feel. i am on day 4 and woke up this morning to go to a job interview and my first thought was once i get a pill in me i will be fine. of course i didn't take one. so i am home now and somewhat sad or whatever this feeling is and the thought of taking a pill is bothering me. i am going to a meeting at noon today. i am sure that will help. it is nice being in a room full of people who know exactly how you feel even if you don't speak.
i know i didnt answer your question but i really dont have the answer. other than it is just Lucifer trying to get us to see things his way. his way *****.
hugs to you.