Why is rehab good?

[PoeticJusticeRules]

I am fighting the fight of my life. I have been on Suboxone for 7 years, 8 mg strips. I was only taking 4 Norcos a day as prescribed, asked my doctor for a few Suboxone like he had done in the past and he told me that he could not write them anymore and I would have to find a Suboxone doctor. Welcome to the criminal medicine world.I googled it and there was a Suboxone doctor 5 miles away. Welcome to hell. He put me on Suboxone maintenance. Suboxone is not a maintenance drug. It is a short term withdrawal drug. He also decided that I was ADD and offered me Ritalin, adderal, or dexedrine. I chose the dexedrine. I only use it when I have to work late. Have multiple bottles of it and a hand full of written prescriptions. He charges$260 for 20 minutes. He does not take insurance. He is the first drug pusher I have ever met. When my Insurance changed, they would not cover Suboxone or dexedrine until I reached a six thousand dollar deductable. At $600 a month out of pocket I decided to come off the ****. After researching it, I was appalled. It is the most addictive drug in the pharmacy and the worst one to withdraw from. I got some Valium and clonidine and went cold turkey. Because of the half life of the drug is two weeks, that makes it a 3 week physical detox. I pissed out my *** for 3 weeks. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. Because of this I felt the teeth of the Beast. Once you feel the teeth of the Beast you'll never go back. I would never consider rehab because I would lose my weapons carry permit. Also everyone I know that has been to rehab relapses. Rehab makes it too easy. They just load you up with more meds to make you feel good and then Turn You Loose for $30,000. I am 24 days into detox and I am starting to feel better. I have counted every minute. I plan on leaving on a road trip out west one week from today. My wife doesn't understand and is unwilling to research what I am going through. So it is time for me to leave, experience the pleasure of wandering, and return when I am 100%. **** rehab. Sue scumbag doctors.

[KLB84]

But yes I do agree suboxone is handed out too readily and in too large a quality. I know!
But the big book and the Man in it give me hope,  grace, strength, healing, victory and peace when everything else is going wrong. Not condemnation like too much of the world and like too many ppl. See religion. The rehab i went to was faith based so If I didn't add this I would be giving credit to the wrong thing.  Though I also believe we sometimes need a safe place to heal as well...js...my personal experience.

[dominosarah]

Great post KLB.

[KLB84]

Thanks Sarah

[KLB84]

Not all rehabs are like that. I went to a year long rehab completely NON medical. It saved my life. Life's not been perfect since but I had a good 6 years sober- even though I messed up I still feel like I got tools I needed there - I absolutely could not have done what I'm doing now before I went there. After doing hard opiates from age 14-22 I needed a year of reprogramming so to speak. I can honestly say that if I hadn't went I would most likely be dead by now. Just saying - they aren't all bad.

[new2recovery]

you can get therapy thats confidential. The first thing I asked them is "I don't want this to affect me being able to own guns, how does your privacy work?" after he assured me they dont report to law inless I outrught threaten violence I talked about my addiction. Therapy really, really helps and I used to be total anti therapy, anti rehab anti everything guy. I told myself "I can do this alone" i considered myself a proud tough guy. Your only making it harder, tougher and less healthy without some kind of therapy. some kind of recovery therapy is a must I believe now and I still consider myself a proud tough guy. Your fighting an enemy, your fighting a war. Youre in a war where even the "cure" and the doctors can be part of the enemy. Find a confidential recovery therapy person tell them your concerns about retaining your right to own gun and still going to therapy and DO IT. don't think about it. why would you choose not to use the best weapon in your arsenal to win the war?? go to therapy buddy. learn how your brain works. They have learned alot about addition YOU need to know to fight without taking all these "cures". look into vivitrol/naltrexone. I decided to try it. you dont get high off it. it works different. It blocks your receptors.      

[clean_in_ks]

I, too, was on one kind of antidepressant or another for over 12 years.  I chose to get off of them 6 years ago.  It was a rough ride and took probably 6 months before I began to feel better.  I also found there is very little research out there regarding the long term affects of being on an antidepressant.  I have 5 sisters....2 of them had also been on an AD med for many years and chose to get off of them about the same time I did.  We were great support for one another.

[PoeticJusticeRules]

Unconditional love is very healing for the family. Your family, with no friction, is the best place to heal. You are lucky!

[clean_in_ks]

Yes I am richly blessed!

[HomeChef]

I was on SSRI (Prozac) long term and I got off it, but it wasn't fun or pretty.  I had brain zaps and walked around in a fog for weeks.  No sleep, ever.  But that was 15 years ago; I'm okay now.

[PoeticJusticeRules]

You are one of the few success stories that I have heard. Hats off to you! I was offered Zoloft once and am damn glad I refused.

[jifmoc]

You sound so angry.What is it that you are looking for w/ your post?

[PoeticJusticeRules]

People like Melissa.

[PoeticJusticeRules]

Are you on Suboxone? Any brain dope? I have heard that long term SSRI withdrawal is next to impossible. If you can't understand why I am angry you may be on a drug yourself or you haven't researched it. I am less than a month free from the Beast.

[PoeticJusticeRules]

Are you a robot?

[jifmoc]

I have 3 years and 8 months clean from a bad Norco habit. You're angry at doctors and rehabs but rehabs have helped many people I know. I hope you have a recovery plan set up. Good luck to you.

[PoeticJusticeRules]

Thanks for responding. You are very lucky that you didn't make it to Suboxone like me. I don't resent doctors. Just scumbag ripoff cash only Suboxone maintenance doctors. I would have rather stayed on Norco. However I had 50 years of sobriety before I fell to Suboxone.
My problem now is PODS. When I am at home I get depressed. When I am at a social event I am almost well.
I feel like a heroin addict that got clean and returned to the street sober. Laying in this house where I lost my soul to Suboxone. My son is doing a documentary on me for his senior project. He filmed me in high definition at the peak of my withdrawal. His major is film and media. His minor is computer science. He gets $125 an hour for his work. He has stills of the neglected house. He has filmed Ted Talks. He is an LLC. I cannot let my pride and joy down. This is helping me with my Rehabilitation. I am seeking online support because I can't stand saying powerless. Once again thank you for your response. I welcome any comments.

[PoeticJusticeRules]

Norco withdrawal is a walk in the park compared to Suboxone.

[dominosarah]

Rehab works for those people who want to get and stay clean.

[clean_in_ks]

I wholeheartedly agree!

[PoeticJusticeRules]

Yes, you are right!!! However most people that return are still mental children and are breaking someone else's bank account.

[PoeticJusticeRules]

I truly love online rehab with my son's support. It is updated 100%. I can say what I want without a church response. And no one refers to the big book Bible!!!

[dominosarah]

Mental children?  Many here and around the world have found recovery and their freedom from that big book bible.  I am glad you have found the support you need but i also hope you find some compassion and understanding.  Everybody's recovery is different and if something different than what you believe in works we should celebrate their recovery~

[clean_in_ks]

"However most people that return are still mental children and are breaking someone else's bank account."  

Not sure how you arrived at this conclusion.  I couldn't disagree with you more.  My immediate family, i.e., father, mother, and 6 children have all had positive, life-changing experiences by living what the big book teaches. Some went to treatment, others didn't. We are a family living our recovery and are some of the "funnest" (I love that word), loving bunch of people you'll ever meet.  None of us are "mental children" and none of us are "breaking someone else's bank account".  It's wisdom not to attribute "labels" to those that choose to go to rehab.  Or to those that choose to read and learn and live out what the big book offers. What works for one person, will not necessarily work for another.  

[motye51]

I live and breath the N/A book..........any questions or delima's I might have, I can always find an answer.

[motye51]

Much respect to you my friend!!!!

I too went cold turkey from suboxone on January 1st, 2014.  I was taking 24mg a day for 7 years.  I understand EVERYTHING you wrote above.  It took me about 1 month to even leave the house.  My stomach was **** for months afterwards....I dropped about 10lbs during the process b/c NOTHING stayed in me.  I was crawling out of my skin.  I met the beast at night, when I couldn't sleep and everyone else WAS asleep.  I called it "dancing with the devil"...almost like he wouldn't let me go without a fight!  But I did fight him, and didn't give and pushed through him.  
I believe that if w/d is soft, and doesn't hurt, it's hard to remember it.  So when the urge comes back, AND IT ALWAYS DOES, you can remember where you were at one point.  I punched holes in my walls, screamed at myself in the mirror, really thought I was losing my mind and for awhile afterwards, I was afraid I was going to stay like that.  But I didn't!  We do get better!  
Rehab is for some people, but not all.  I chose NOT to go to rehab b/c I didn't have the $$.  I was paying cash for my "doctor" visit and CASH for the prescription which came out to about $1600 a month.  This is why I had no money!

NOT trying to push the issue, but I felt like a wet noodle for quite awhile.  It wouldn't be a bad idea if you looked into some type of recovery program now that your on the other side.  I found this to be TOTALLY NECESSARY for me to learn how to NOT get myself into this situation again!  I also met some really cool people as well.  It helped my brain feel better......not kidding!

Good luck to you and keep posting....I love hearing about others getting off this ****** drug!

Much Respect,
Melissa

[PoeticJusticeRules]

Thank you so much Melissa! I have researched therapy and found nothing. 20% of the people in na are on Suboxone.

[motye51]

We have some......b/c it is recommended that you start your recovery process even while in suboxone to make the transition easier. But we ask that they dont collect clean time until they've finished the subs.

[motye51]

Its ok to be in n/a on subs....in the beginning. But not sure how it would be looked at as maintenance. You and i both know its NOT MAINTENENCE.

[PoeticJusticeRules]

Because I despise the drug, I am afraid of getting into a heated debate about it. I am a Dr. House addict.

[PoeticJusticeRules]

I broke my back when I was 19. I managed to make 700 skydives, close to a hundred open boat Whitewater trips, a 67 day adventure with my son to Alaska via San Diego from Georgia, and could ride 500 miles a day on a motorcycle. At 50 I started to develop arthritis in my back. The only way I could keep working construction was with meds. I am a master electrician. And an independent contractor.