Wife with migraines

[NobodyToTalkToo]

I don't know what to do or where to go with this problem.  My wife has suffered from migraines since she was a child.  They seem to have increased in intensity and frequency since we've been married.  She is allergic to "triptans" (sp?) and primarily takes esgic plus (fioricet) and phenergan to manage the pain.  She also takes a laundry list of other medications (klonopin, ambien, cymbalta and several others that I don't care to run spellcheck on either).  She says she has a headache everyday of her life.  Some days/weeks are just worse than others.  She consistently takes WAY more esgic than prescribed and she ends up in a drunken like stooper for days.  She picks locks, breaks safes, lies, hides medicine in other bottles, steals her mother’s medications.... will basically do anything to get her hands on the esgic.  She's lost a half a dozen jobs in as many years from missing too much work.  When she's not having the severe headaches she doesn't abuse any of her daily meds.  Sometimes she'll even get on a good streak and we'll go three or four months without her abusing the medicine.  But it always starts up again.  I can't begin to tell you the other areas of our lives and marriage that this has affected.  We are now facing bankruptcy if that gives you any clue.  Plus she has no health insurance.  It's ruining our marriage.  I do love her, but she continues fall into this pattern.  We've talked about her lies.  Sometimes she'll admit to them, sometimes she won't.  I'm sorry for this to be such a rambling mess.  I just need to know if there's anyone out there that has gone through this.  Both of our families are very supportive but nobody can truly understand unless they've been through it.

[worried878]

i could not tolerate cymbalta either..it made me "not care" about anything...also started losing my hair and considering my vanity that was a done deal..i was also on it for chronic pain

the headaches could very well be an excuse to use..not that she doesnt have them cos i am sure she does...people go up and down with their cravings but it is unusual for her to be able to stop everything with no problem then turn around and go to these extremes to get pills...r u sure she is really stopping during these 3-4 months?  not suggesting but it could be she is well supplied and content during these times..dont know but i feel ur pain..hurting those we love is a very sad part of this whole mess

[10356]

It worries me to tell the doctors about the magnitude of her abuse.. Therapy would be a start.. Being honest with her Dr... somebody must believe she is in pain as she has so many meds... This is affecting you her and all that love both...Please do not give up and work with her Dr.

[NobodyToTalkToo]

Thank you all for your kind words and support.  I'll try to address some of the questions and comments with this post.  I am positive that she does not take the esgic all the time.  She truly is a slave to the pain and when the big wave of pain comes, she'll do anything to make it stop.  We have been to countless doctors, neurologists, specialists; we've even been to the Diamond Headache Clinic in Chicago.  Usually, doctors seem to care and want to help the pain and are confident they can solve the problem.  After several months, when they don't make any significant progress, they treat her as a nuisance and tell her she just thinks she's in pain.  By the way, one of my best friends is a pharmacist, my father is an MD, she's a nurse, and she's been a pharmacy tech.  So she knows how to work the system and knows her meds.  I’m fully aware of the effects from the combinations of all her medications.  And I know what they’re all prescribed for.  I believe she does need some of them, but I think others could be phased out.  I truly believe that if she just lived a healthier life, stuck to her meds as prescribed, and exercised she would have the strength and drive to make it through the tough spots.  It worries me to tell the doctors about the magnitude of her abuse because I’m afraid they’ll take it away all together.  It really is the only thing that gives her relief.  She absolutely demonstrates addictive behavior.  But like I said, she doesn't want anything to do the esgic when she's not in pain.  It's just that once she starts taking it for a bad one it goes on for days.  If we HAVE to be somewhere that she has to fake she's not in pain, it's really hard on her, she usually pulls through, and then the next day she's 20x better.

[sway1]

this may sound strange, but have her try Feverfew. you can get it at most pharmacies on the vitamin aisle. i grow my own, and just run out to my plant and munch a few leaves. i have suffered from migraines since early adulthood, and doctors put me on so many different things, most of which helped NOT AT ALL, and had icky side effects. drugs come from plants, so i just go to the source. i want to become an herbalist when i grow up(lol). i am 46. anyway feverfew is cheap and basically harmless and non-addictive. what can it hurt to try it? good luck!    sway

[mtgoat911]

welcome to the forum!
so your wife is stealing medication and using a migrane to justify her addiction
sound like its time for you to place boundaries
trust me, i am like your wife, i am the addict that used my medical problems to get my way....
now, does your wife sound as bad off as i was "oh no!", but she is starting down that path
any decent doctor will tell her to get off all meds, that way they can see if the meds are causing the migranes

firocet......contains bubatal, which is sedating and can cause headaches, and firocet also has a good bit of caffine in it, when she comes down off the caffine, she will crash and get a headache

phenergan.....is actually an allergy medication used for naseau, its sedating

klonipin.....this drug is for pts, anxiety, its not for pain, it is very addicting

ambian....is also addicting and sedating

cymbalta...is for depression and pain, its a very strong sri, i tried to take it a few weeks ago, i have been clean for 4 years and have no tollerance to medication, that pill sent me spinning, my doctor wants to me try again at a lower dose, however cymbalta is the safest drug she is taking

you also mentioned that she is on a bunch of other pills, steals, breaks locks,,,, thats typical addict behavior, and you are caught up in it
its like living with a tornado, i wish i knew more to tell you
do you think she would seek help if you placed some sort of boundary with her?
there is another forum set up that you should post this question,
opiatedetoxrecovery.org, there is a section dedicated to the families, keep in mind that most people over there are like me very blunt, because most of us work in the addictions field
when you deal with stufff like this all day, you loose some of your tack!!!

[road2recovery]

I also have terrible migranes...I also question , when she is not taking them?  are you sure??  
there are different kinds of migrane meds, and i have tried them all...the one to work best for me is imitrex...but it is 300.00 dollars for 9 pills...half the time i throw them up , and my insurance only allows me 9 per month(can't blame them at that price)...
There are different kind of fioricet...Although both are very addictive..One contains codiene...And both contain a barbituate...Going c/t off of that barb, is life threathing...
I agree about talking to a pharmacist about all these meds together and what kind of interaction they may be having...
I am very sorry for what you are going through...As addicts we lie, steal etc...It is not a good place to be...But doesn't make us terrible people, just people that need help...I am just a little confused that she can go off of it with no problem???
god bless
r2r

[heather_r]

Sorry to hear what all you are going through. I went through a period of 11 months with a daily Migraine like headache. Always on the same side. I dont like the triptans and was on several meds for it. The pain meds do cause rebound headaches that can make the already present headache worse. I did not abuse mine at the time but did have a dependancy and increased tolerance to them. I stopped taking them for a period of time then started back and abused them then. You really need to talk to a MD about all her meds and a pharmacist. Nobody knew how much I was really taking, we are good at covering. Talk to her and try to get her to be honest about how much she takes, if she is on loads of meds and increasing the dose she could really hurt herself. Best of luck.

[10356]

Good morning.. I'm very sorry your wife is suffering and through her you.. I have been thinking about you since you posted this last night.. although you did not list all her meds.. have you spoken with a pharmacist about them all and the interaction.. I have had Dr.s give me pills that did not mix with my blood pressure meds.. That said.. as an addict I can tell you.. you know what pills have what effect.. you can abuse one and cause the out of it effect or you can take another and mix it to cause a euphoric effect that gives energy.. You would be surprised at what great little pharmacist we make.. All of her (bad) behaviors point to addiction.. I would suggest you both go too the Dr. and just lay it on the line and be honest.. She can not continue on this path.. Therapy would also be a great tool in helping her to regain some of her freedom.. I wish you both well and hope that you take this further.. lesa

[cathy5841]

i too am sorry to hear your story.  addiction is hard on the ones we love too.  i have to question if maybe when you THINK she is not taking the pills she really is.  all of the behaviors you listed as kim said are addictive behaviors.  as an addict i can see myself lyinf to my hubby and saying i had not taken anything cuz my head didnt hurt today....then taking a handful as soon as he was in bed....not saying thats what she is doing, just making you aware it is a possibility.  the klonopin or ambein alone is enough to make her go into a drunken stupor...mixing them is scary to me....takl to the dr on the other forum and see what he says.  good luck to you and your wife.

[Ronnie152]

Sorry to hear that. Maybe her pain comes on stronger when she dont have pills(acting) I was always in pain when I didnt have any, Back-teeth-ear what ever i choose. Just to get more pills. Maybe on tthe times she dont hurt she has enough pills and dont have to push the pain issue. I don't know I know that sounds like me. We addicts can do a good job on lieing and acting. Thats my though Keep posting and reading hope something helps you.

[snowflake620]

have you discussed her behaviour with her doctor? sometimes pain meds cause rebound pain meaning they cause more pain than they help especially if taking more than prescribed or mixing meds,abusing pain meds will also cause erratic behaviour as you know so maybe it is time for medical intervention talk to her doctor and be honest.I hope things work out and please let us know how things are going,I will be praying fo ryou and your wife
snowflake

[flmagi]

This is a good post for Dr.J, our addiction specialist. Please go to the Doctors site and re-post your questions. Be sure to give him all the info. Of course you can always continue to post here and get the support you need dealing with this problem.

http://www.medhelp.org/forums/show/326?camp=msc

[kim715]

I just keep thinking about your post.Have you or your wife ever discussed this with her doctor? The fact that she doesn't take the meds when she is not suffering from the migraines just makes me wonder if she is really in some serious legitimate pain and perhaps the meds aren't strong enough or shes built up a tolerance to them.It's just a thought.I'll be interested to see what some of the other members think.I do wish you both the best.....Peace...Kim

[steveo30]

what hit me is that she dosen't abuse or even take her meds when she dosen't have a migrane,that shows some control if not quite a bit of control.this is a tough one,i'm sure you will have alot of responses and someone who knows more about this ,i wish you luck.

[kim715]

Hi and welcome.I'm so sorry for your situation.I can relate to some of what your saying.The lying,stealing,abusing the meds,those are all addictive behavior.The part where you say she doesn't take the meds when shes not in pain confuses me though.When I was actively using I abused the pills every day,whether I was hurting or not.If I had them I took them and lots of them.I'm sure there is someone here who will understand her behavior better then me.Hang in there and keep posting.I wish you both all the best....Kim