Aa
Will i be an addict for life?
Will I be an addict for life now or do i stop being one now im quitting codeine?
Hi everyone,
We are closing this thread to new comments.
Have a great day!
Steph
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We are closing this thread to new comments.
Have a great day!
Steph
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Sigh.
Eve, we've told you over and over we're not judging you. This really is futile, you refuse to not take any advice personally, and are determined to get angry with each post. Nothing much productive is going to come out of that, is it?
You reached out for help, and you've received NUMEROUS posts advising you of the things you could do to start on the road to recovery. No one said it's easy, if it were, there wouldn't be forum after forum FULL of people like you trying to accomplish the same thing, with the same struggles.
Go back and read all 85 posts, you will see all kinds of suggestions. You've given us reasons why you can't do any of them. You've already gotten our moral support, but this IS a forum where people are trying to get well....we cannot make people do it....recovery is essentially in the hands of each addict.
We would be enabling you to give you support to tell you it's okay to keep using. It boils down to the fact that you want us to say, "It's okay eve, it IS hard, so keep using". We're not going to do that.
We're giving you ways you could at least START getting clean. You have to start somewhere. Have you given any thought to inpatient treatment? I honestly think that would be a great option for you...and you have people who could watch your daughter while you went and got clean and started your life of sobriety. You will say you can't, but you absolutely CAN. You haven't once posted, saying that you were going to try to do anything, not cut down again on your use, not stop getting the extra codeine, not try a meeting, none of it. Do you not see that? All you have posted is why you feel it is not fair that you should have to stop, or why you're angry at the doctor, at your parents, how everyone is judging you...how no one underdtands. Darling, you couldn't BE in a place where people understand MORE. They'v all stood in your shoes, and the ones who are clean TOOK the advice offered and started working towards recovery, and they've all told you it wasn't easy...but they've all told you how worth it was.
Until you can stop getting upset and angry and defensive, I just fear you won't get anything out of the advice here. That's a shame.
PS one day i'll find somewhere where i'm not going to be judged. .
That's not the problem. The problem is you're completely closed off to reason and suggestion at this point, which is something you have to work on, and quite honestly, it's offensive to keep seeing you telling such wonderful caring people trying to help you that they are being judgemental. People who are addicts themselves.
I know I said I'd bow out before, but I just keep wanting to try. Like others have said, when you decide to want to try some of the suggestions, and start moving forward, I'll be here to support you. I won't support your addiction though. You'll be in my prayers.
Eve, we've told you over and over we're not judging you. This really is futile, you refuse to not take any advice personally, and are determined to get angry with each post. Nothing much productive is going to come out of that, is it?
You reached out for help, and you've received NUMEROUS posts advising you of the things you could do to start on the road to recovery. No one said it's easy, if it were, there wouldn't be forum after forum FULL of people like you trying to accomplish the same thing, with the same struggles.
Go back and read all 85 posts, you will see all kinds of suggestions. You've given us reasons why you can't do any of them. You've already gotten our moral support, but this IS a forum where people are trying to get well....we cannot make people do it....recovery is essentially in the hands of each addict.
We would be enabling you to give you support to tell you it's okay to keep using. It boils down to the fact that you want us to say, "It's okay eve, it IS hard, so keep using". We're not going to do that.
We're giving you ways you could at least START getting clean. You have to start somewhere. Have you given any thought to inpatient treatment? I honestly think that would be a great option for you...and you have people who could watch your daughter while you went and got clean and started your life of sobriety. You will say you can't, but you absolutely CAN. You haven't once posted, saying that you were going to try to do anything, not cut down again on your use, not stop getting the extra codeine, not try a meeting, none of it. Do you not see that? All you have posted is why you feel it is not fair that you should have to stop, or why you're angry at the doctor, at your parents, how everyone is judging you...how no one underdtands. Darling, you couldn't BE in a place where people understand MORE. They'v all stood in your shoes, and the ones who are clean TOOK the advice offered and started working towards recovery, and they've all told you it wasn't easy...but they've all told you how worth it was.
Until you can stop getting upset and angry and defensive, I just fear you won't get anything out of the advice here. That's a shame.
PS one day i'll find somewhere where i'm not going to be judged. .
That's not the problem. The problem is you're completely closed off to reason and suggestion at this point, which is something you have to work on, and quite honestly, it's offensive to keep seeing you telling such wonderful caring people trying to help you that they are being judgemental. People who are addicts themselves.
I know I said I'd bow out before, but I just keep wanting to try. Like others have said, when you decide to want to try some of the suggestions, and start moving forward, I'll be here to support you. I won't support your addiction though. You'll be in my prayers.
Not trying to be funny here but if i could simply give up codeine for a month why would i need these forums. Maybe it's easy for you all to give it up but I'm finding extremely hard.
I came here for moral support n all i'm getting is judgement telling me what a rubbish mam I am n silly suggestions. Well yea i'll simply just stop codeine now. Why didn't i think of that?
I'm going on here now as I'm angry n ferl like crying.
Evey
PS one day i'll find somewhere where i'm not going to be judged.
I came here for moral support n all i'm getting is judgement telling me what a rubbish mam I am n silly suggestions. Well yea i'll simply just stop codeine now. Why didn't i think of that?
I'm going on here now as I'm angry n ferl like crying.
Evey
PS one day i'll find somewhere where i'm not going to be judged.
You WILL prove to yourself the first step of the 12 step program. It took a great deal of pain, confusion, and suffering to convince me that I was powerless over drugs, and that my life had become unmanageable. Based on your last comment, "please stop asking me to stay," I encourage you to go out, try some restraint and control for a while longer. See if you can go a month without taking more than you intended. Maybe you'll level out and find the perfect dose and not turn out to be an addict after all. That would be amazing, let us know how it turns out. That's what we say in my meetings to people who don't really want to quit. Good luck, we are here for you when you really decide you want our support.
Its a horrible thing to be addicted to any substance. There is help if you want it. People cannot make you change, only you can change yourself. It takes a strong person to quit and it is hard work. It is up to you . I am 19 months clean and sober after 10 months of outpatient recovery program.
I just checked my "sent" messsages, I have never send you a PM.
Well, I'm going to bow out now, I've said everything I wanted to, a few times. I think we all have. There's not anything more we can say. You know you have our support...the rest is up to you.
Very best of luck, take care.
Well, I'm going to bow out now, I've said everything I wanted to, a few times. I think we all have. There's not anything more we can say. You know you have our support...the rest is up to you.
Very best of luck, take care.
I'm not sure what you're talking about, I haven't messaged you saying anyuthing of the sort, in fact, I don't recall messaging you at all?
Im not having that much codeine now not as much as i would.
I need to take a break from look can you all pls stop nessaging asking me to stay ive made my mind up i need a break sorry.
I need to take a break from look can you all pls stop nessaging asking me to stay ive made my mind up i need a break sorry.
Hiya Sarah,
Thank you so very much for your comment n for being nice to me.
Lots of people have said 'it tirns on you.' Can i ask what you mean by that please?
I mean i think it may have done that the week i wasn't well n stressed out about money just before I told my mam everything but not sure. Because when i went through withdrawal i WANTED it n i mean really wanted it, thought of it all the time, reminiscing over the beginning n good times etc.
Evey xxx
Thank you so very much for your comment n for being nice to me.
Lots of people have said 'it tirns on you.' Can i ask what you mean by that please?
I mean i think it may have done that the week i wasn't well n stressed out about money just before I told my mam everything but not sure. Because when i went through withdrawal i WANTED it n i mean really wanted it, thought of it all the time, reminiscing over the beginning n good times etc.
Evey xxx
Hi Girl..Thanks for the PM..You just take it easy..I think nurseygirl came up with a great idea..Can you see about going to a Treatment Center..They will have you Focus on YOU and you only..You will not have to worry about a thing but getting better..OK..We DO CARE ABOUT YOU..No one is going to be mean..OK..Just think about what they said above me here..You do have a child too..You can stay with us for support also..Just think what your life will have to offer after you get off the meds..You can even join us to help a new one on here that might be walking in the shoes you are wearing..You can do it!! I know you can..We will Cheer for you all the Way. I am doing Cartwheels right now...
Bless You & Your family..
Bless You & Your family..
Honey, we're not judging you but rather trying to get THROUGH to you, and there's a BIG difference!!! We ONLY want to see you get well, as you simply CANNOT keep doing what you're doing. There's no easy way to say this, but it WILL either kill you, make you very very sick, or ruin your life, INCLUDUNG taking everything away that you love and cherish. That's an undisputable FACT.
Here's an honest question for you...you don't have to answer it here...but ponder it yourself, do you think with the amount of codeine you're taking that you are a safe and appropriate person to care for your young child? Think about that. If you knew someone else who was doing what you're doing, and they had a young child, would you be worried about that child? Answer yourself honestly. When you talk to yourself, you have no one to answer to, no one to impress or convince, so be honest with yourself about that.
Children's protective agencies get involved to intervene when children are at risk. They may NOT get involved in your case, but if they did, they would be 100% right to be concerned about the well being of your daughter. You are NOT making healthy decisions and choices, that's the bottom line. You are putting your OWN life and health at risk, so it goes without saying that others would be worried about your ability to make safe choices for her as well.
And NO.... that doesn't have a THING to do with who you are as a PERSON..not one single bit. It has to do with you being sick...addiction is an illness, and you're in deep. You're NOT a bad person. You absolutely HAVE to make changes to start moving forward with your recovery, or things will not end well. That's just a fact. It really is. You can only continue to do this for so long before it will catch up to you in some respect. It's very sad, but it's very true.
The GOOD news is, YOU have the power to change this. Sure, it will stink, it will be hard, you'll feel badly, both physically and mentally, but not forever. You'll be mad, sad, and sick, but that will pass. You CAN get back to a life without codeine, but you have to ONE.. acknowledge the difficult truth, that you are addicted, and that you have lost control. You don't have to do that here, but at some point, you have to admit it to yourself.
You also have to WANT to get better (which is obvious to me that you do). You cannot go on the way you are. Probably your biggest fear is losing your daughter, right? Well, if you CONTINUE to abuse codeine, that's a very real possibility. I KNOW you don't want that...so then decide that all of this back and forth is just DONE.
No more worrying about your parents, and what they say or do....no more staying focused on that you WANT to use an addictive substance that makes you feel good, because it will ruin your life. NO more worrying about what people say...it hits home and hurts because you're smart enough to know there's a lot of truth in what others' have said. NO more making excuses about why you "can't" do this and can't do that...find ways you CAN. You put a lot of time and effort and money into getting the codeine. If you put the same effort and work into recovery you will be successful.
Honestly, at this point, I think your best bet would be an intensive inpatient recovery program. They will both help you detox AND start the road to sobriety. Choose your life...not the codeine.
I say ALL of the above out of compassion, not criticism.
Here's an honest question for you...you don't have to answer it here...but ponder it yourself, do you think with the amount of codeine you're taking that you are a safe and appropriate person to care for your young child? Think about that. If you knew someone else who was doing what you're doing, and they had a young child, would you be worried about that child? Answer yourself honestly. When you talk to yourself, you have no one to answer to, no one to impress or convince, so be honest with yourself about that.
Children's protective agencies get involved to intervene when children are at risk. They may NOT get involved in your case, but if they did, they would be 100% right to be concerned about the well being of your daughter. You are NOT making healthy decisions and choices, that's the bottom line. You are putting your OWN life and health at risk, so it goes without saying that others would be worried about your ability to make safe choices for her as well.
And NO.... that doesn't have a THING to do with who you are as a PERSON..not one single bit. It has to do with you being sick...addiction is an illness, and you're in deep. You're NOT a bad person. You absolutely HAVE to make changes to start moving forward with your recovery, or things will not end well. That's just a fact. It really is. You can only continue to do this for so long before it will catch up to you in some respect. It's very sad, but it's very true.
The GOOD news is, YOU have the power to change this. Sure, it will stink, it will be hard, you'll feel badly, both physically and mentally, but not forever. You'll be mad, sad, and sick, but that will pass. You CAN get back to a life without codeine, but you have to ONE.. acknowledge the difficult truth, that you are addicted, and that you have lost control. You don't have to do that here, but at some point, you have to admit it to yourself.
You also have to WANT to get better (which is obvious to me that you do). You cannot go on the way you are. Probably your biggest fear is losing your daughter, right? Well, if you CONTINUE to abuse codeine, that's a very real possibility. I KNOW you don't want that...so then decide that all of this back and forth is just DONE.
No more worrying about your parents, and what they say or do....no more staying focused on that you WANT to use an addictive substance that makes you feel good, because it will ruin your life. NO more worrying about what people say...it hits home and hurts because you're smart enough to know there's a lot of truth in what others' have said. NO more making excuses about why you "can't" do this and can't do that...find ways you CAN. You put a lot of time and effort and money into getting the codeine. If you put the same effort and work into recovery you will be successful.
Honestly, at this point, I think your best bet would be an intensive inpatient recovery program. They will both help you detox AND start the road to sobriety. Choose your life...not the codeine.
I say ALL of the above out of compassion, not criticism.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Take some deep breaths.......Dont worry about other people right now. You need to focus on you. You are what is important. I understand the hold the codeine has on you. Right now it is your best friend and your lover isnt it? It hides our emotional pain that we dont want to deal with and then it turns on you which it is doing now. I know you are afraid, we all were but getting off these pills and facing your fears isnt nearly as painful as continuing on this path. I am a dual addict in recovery. I am okay with that as i have learned so much about me. With this addiction you have to surrender to win. You can do this........
I've had a loada codeine now as i can t stop thinking what that person said to me.
I dont think i can tell my mam not to come as she'll be hurt she's been looking after my codeine for me n i don't want to hurt her or her mad at me. She thinks i been sticking to this taper but i haven't done :(
Maybe if i just make out to these people i have ut'll be ok? N maybe somehow i will? Some 15 mg tabs came 200 of them n i kept them n took them.
Am i a horrible person for doing this?
I tried to give it up but i dont want that sense of loss again. I gave up relationship because i am scared of that sense of loss n now i have to go through it with codeine n when i try explaining this to people they get mad at me, judge me n don't understand me at all.
I can't go to NA because i got my child to look after n now im definately wortied i'll lose my child when i get referred now.
I dont think i can tell my mam not to come as she'll be hurt she's been looking after my codeine for me n i don't want to hurt her or her mad at me. She thinks i been sticking to this taper but i haven't done :(
Maybe if i just make out to these people i have ut'll be ok? N maybe somehow i will? Some 15 mg tabs came 200 of them n i kept them n took them.
Am i a horrible person for doing this?
I tried to give it up but i dont want that sense of loss again. I gave up relationship because i am scared of that sense of loss n now i have to go through it with codeine n when i try explaining this to people they get mad at me, judge me n don't understand me at all.
I can't go to NA because i got my child to look after n now im definately wortied i'll lose my child when i get referred now.
To comment on your last post, you are doing the right thing by continuing to seek help in your area, that's great. Hopefully, when you first meet with the people from this program you've been referred to, you will start on the path to recovery.
I agree with you completely about going to appts and such by yourself. You are an adult and do not need your Mom to come in with you. It's a LOT harder to be honest with her sitting there, especially because from what you've said, she doesn't understand a lot about addiction yet (which is okay, don't hold that against her...MANY people don't understand.....)
It's one thing for her to go with you and wait in the waiting room, but I do not think she needs to be sitting in on your private appts, either with your docs, or your recovery programs. Just calmly tell her that this is stuff you need to be doing yourself, so you feel comfortable opening up with your practitioners. Tell her you just need her non-judgemental support. You could ask her to attend an alanon or naranon meeting, where other loved ones of addicts can help to teach her all about addiction.
You're moving forward, which is all that matters. Try to keep your focus on that, and nothing else. Try not to overanalyze everything right now...just keep your recovery ini the forefront of your mind. I think you reading other people's stories of their own addiction struggles is great, kudos to you for seeking those stories out. Keep doing that...as you've most definitely had a hard time with the acceptance part. Understanding that you are a lot like everyone else who suffers with addiction, people from all walks of life, people who have found themselves abusing various substances...will be very eye opening for you...it will help you start to find that acceptance that is vital to being successful in your sobriety. People who are addicts are NOT bad people, and they come from all walks of life...they have a disease, and need treatment. If you had high blood pressure, you wouldn't hesitate to seek help from your doctor...treating addiction requires treatment as well, and long term management. Once you learn more about addiction, so much of what we've said here will make so much more sense to you.
Hang in there dear!
Keeping you in my prayers.
I agree with you completely about going to appts and such by yourself. You are an adult and do not need your Mom to come in with you. It's a LOT harder to be honest with her sitting there, especially because from what you've said, she doesn't understand a lot about addiction yet (which is okay, don't hold that against her...MANY people don't understand.....)
It's one thing for her to go with you and wait in the waiting room, but I do not think she needs to be sitting in on your private appts, either with your docs, or your recovery programs. Just calmly tell her that this is stuff you need to be doing yourself, so you feel comfortable opening up with your practitioners. Tell her you just need her non-judgemental support. You could ask her to attend an alanon or naranon meeting, where other loved ones of addicts can help to teach her all about addiction.
You're moving forward, which is all that matters. Try to keep your focus on that, and nothing else. Try not to overanalyze everything right now...just keep your recovery ini the forefront of your mind. I think you reading other people's stories of their own addiction struggles is great, kudos to you for seeking those stories out. Keep doing that...as you've most definitely had a hard time with the acceptance part. Understanding that you are a lot like everyone else who suffers with addiction, people from all walks of life, people who have found themselves abusing various substances...will be very eye opening for you...it will help you start to find that acceptance that is vital to being successful in your sobriety. People who are addicts are NOT bad people, and they come from all walks of life...they have a disease, and need treatment. If you had high blood pressure, you wouldn't hesitate to seek help from your doctor...treating addiction requires treatment as well, and long term management. Once you learn more about addiction, so much of what we've said here will make so much more sense to you.
Hang in there dear!
Keeping you in my prayers.
Hi Girl..I am sorry to hear that they were a bit nasty to you on a previous form..As you know it is NOT from HERE..We have ALL been with you All the WAY! The PMS group should be just like AA/NA..It is a place to Listen to others and for you to Share your Story as well..YOU Should go by Your Self and NOT take your MOM..You need to express some issue in there..What is said there stays there...It is very confidential and should NOT leave the room.
You will be so surprised how just sharing takes alot off the Shoulders..A big Weight starts to Lift..Nobody will Judge you in there and the Law is NOT Involved..It sounds like you are scared..I hope no one is tying to scare you or manipulate you..You said your Mom Gave them up for 7 weeks once?? If she is back to the cigs again then she should know how addiction works..That is one of the Hardest Addictions to Break..Do not beat yourself up because your Family does not understand..Get around the Groups that have people that do..I will be Honest Here..If I did not have Family Support from my Husband or Mon & Dads, plus my Groups..It would of been one hard Road to go Alone...I know you want it..Like I said in my last talk with you..You would not be coming back if you did not want some kind of help..Again You be good to yourself and give yourself a Big Hug You are Really Reaching Out!!! You can stay with US as long as you want too..OK When you get tapered down and you are feeling a bit Funky we can help you here with the W/Ds..The things that we use make it a bit more milder..You Take a Deep Breath there Girl and keep coming back..I know you can do this..
Bless You
vickie
You will be so surprised how just sharing takes alot off the Shoulders..A big Weight starts to Lift..Nobody will Judge you in there and the Law is NOT Involved..It sounds like you are scared..I hope no one is tying to scare you or manipulate you..You said your Mom Gave them up for 7 weeks once?? If she is back to the cigs again then she should know how addiction works..That is one of the Hardest Addictions to Break..Do not beat yourself up because your Family does not understand..Get around the Groups that have people that do..I will be Honest Here..If I did not have Family Support from my Husband or Mon & Dads, plus my Groups..It would of been one hard Road to go Alone...I know you want it..Like I said in my last talk with you..You would not be coming back if you did not want some kind of help..Again You be good to yourself and give yourself a Big Hug You are Really Reaching Out!!! You can stay with US as long as you want too..OK When you get tapered down and you are feeling a bit Funky we can help you here with the W/Ds..The things that we use make it a bit more milder..You Take a Deep Breath there Girl and keep coming back..I know you can do this..
Bless You
vickie
Vrgrrl there's a book about a lady who got addicted to fentanyl. She's in the UK n had pancreatitis. She ended up going to rehab as apparent it's 100 times stronger than morphine n she was taken it in lozenge form. Was an interesting read I've started reading it again. I really admire you for coming off that because I found coming off codeine n according to various forums is the weakest opiate n codeine withdral is a joke. Well i didn't find it a joke n was still taking 60 mg (15 x 4) off the doctor.
Trouble is I wish my parents would research this because they seem to think I can just get over it. My mam said its like cigerettes n she understands because she gave them up for 7 weeks once. Arrrrggggg
I really need to talk to people from the UK because I need to know what the services are like. I'm being referred to the Prescribed Medications Support Services n I need to know what they will do with me????
Also i asked my mam to come but in a way i want to go in alone as how am i meant to tell them i'm still abusing codeine????? And i'm also concerned that if i get this help that they will contact social services n have my child taken away from me. This is why i resisted help for so long.
I feel trapped by the system because if i ask for help im always worried social will get involved.
But when i said this on previous forums they were nasty to me. Why???? I went there for support :(
You're all some very lovely to me. Thank you. It means a lot to me it really does xxxx
Trouble is I wish my parents would research this because they seem to think I can just get over it. My mam said its like cigerettes n she understands because she gave them up for 7 weeks once. Arrrrggggg
I really need to talk to people from the UK because I need to know what the services are like. I'm being referred to the Prescribed Medications Support Services n I need to know what they will do with me????
Also i asked my mam to come but in a way i want to go in alone as how am i meant to tell them i'm still abusing codeine????? And i'm also concerned that if i get this help that they will contact social services n have my child taken away from me. This is why i resisted help for so long.
I feel trapped by the system because if i ask for help im always worried social will get involved.
But when i said this on previous forums they were nasty to me. Why???? I went there for support :(
You're all some very lovely to me. Thank you. It means a lot to me it really does xxxx
Hi Girl..We really do care about about you..We have been talking with you since April 11..I know i can feel you Mental & Emotional Pain..I Just do not want you to make the same mistake I made..It took many, many years of my precious life to start at a young age. Attics sounds like a bad word to some..It is NOT!..It is just that we physically and mentally rely on these drugs to escape some emotions like anxiety, depression or even pain.My drug use for the most was Compulsive Behavior..I had to get everything done NOW & all at the same TIME.We just get out of control with it and use in ways to deal with life..Some of us had serious pain..We built up a tolerance and needed more.In my case some of it was pain when it involved the other opiates..But not bad enough to make excuses to go up to a 12 year Methadone ride..I was running so short all the time I started to snort it with another drug to make it last longer..This just got me back to still running short and buying them off the streets..Lots of wasted money and travel time to go get them..Have you looked up the "Disease of Addition and the Pleasures Pathway" yet?? Maybe you have not been on it long enough to really mess the brain Chemistry yet, but in time it does..You can learn this knowledge and it will really help YOU and your FAMILY understand what is happening or what could happen..We all care about you and you care about yourself or you would of never came back..Give YOURSELF a big PAT on the BACK..SEE you are trying and maybe just do not see it...You keep coming back..We will always be here for you..Maybe in & out..But someone is always here!!! OK..WE CARE....
Bless You..I know it is not easy...
vickie.
Bless You..I know it is not easy...
vickie.
Hey it's ok. I'm 13 days past Fentanyl that I was given immediately post op in January and then my body clung to it, I had a seizure, and the doctors had to do a slow taper off of it with me and it's been awful...I had no idea what it was like to be on a drug like that and not be able to just stop taking it...wow have I had my eyes opened! I have trouble with the addict word too because when I first was told that I was addicted to the Fentanyl I reacted like they were saying I was a horrible no good person all of the sudden and I hadn't done anything but take what they gave me and follow what they said about tapering off of it. But they only meant that my body was addicted to it...and there are other words (drug tolerant, etc) but at the end all that matters is that I'm off the stuff and not going back on it. So I'll have to be really careful for the rest of my life and make sure no one gives me something like this again because I know what can happen. I'm completely exhausted....mentally and physically...people here tell me that it won't be there for much longer, don't panic...it is what it is and I will be through this before I know it and so will you when you are ready. We're all only human and we just have to keep getting ourselves through this. We can...and I know that eventually...soon...we'll be feeling a long stronger and better than we have in a long, long time. *hugs*
Well, there is no question that w/ds can be rough, but the great thing is, they don't last long, at least the very worst of them. Everyone here will tell you that w/ds stunk, but they managed to get through them somehow.
There ARE some things you can do to make them a little more tolerable. When you're ready, we can explain some approaches to treating some of the w/d symptoms. There is no magic "cure" for w/ds, but definitely some options. Many people just resign themselves that they just won't feel good for a short while, much like if you'd have a bad flu. It's a well worth it trade off for the rest of your life back without pills though.
Your usage is pretty high, and as you know with tolerance, that has the potential to spiral out of control quickly. This really IS the perfect time to decide how you want to proceed, before things get any worse.
There ARE some things you can do to make them a little more tolerable. When you're ready, we can explain some approaches to treating some of the w/d symptoms. There is no magic "cure" for w/ds, but definitely some options. Many people just resign themselves that they just won't feel good for a short while, much like if you'd have a bad flu. It's a well worth it trade off for the rest of your life back without pills though.
Your usage is pretty high, and as you know with tolerance, that has the potential to spiral out of control quickly. This really IS the perfect time to decide how you want to proceed, before things get any worse.
But i did try. I tried for 6 days to stick to the taper n the withdrawals were unbearable im talking the mental stuff. How in the world did you all get through that because i have a new admiration for you all i really do.
I wasn't well n was in bed as had no energy n my mam practically accused me of doing it to myself, on day 5. That really hurt because i wasn't. It scared me because i felt i was never going to get better n how was i meant to look after little 1 like that????? N i was going to have to pretend i was feeling ok too. All i kept thinking about was codeine n how life sucked, even exercise which i loved, without it - how was i going to get codeine n that one day all those people stopping me doing codeine would no longer be here so i could have as such as i want. I know thinking this way was wrong, very but its how i felt n i never want to go through that again ever :(
I wasn't well n was in bed as had no energy n my mam practically accused me of doing it to myself, on day 5. That really hurt because i wasn't. It scared me because i felt i was never going to get better n how was i meant to look after little 1 like that????? N i was going to have to pretend i was feeling ok too. All i kept thinking about was codeine n how life sucked, even exercise which i loved, without it - how was i going to get codeine n that one day all those people stopping me doing codeine would no longer be here so i could have as such as i want. I know thinking this way was wrong, very but its how i felt n i never want to go through that again ever :(
Thank you for replying to me n in depth. That was lovely n kind of you. I really appreciate that. Everyone on this forum has been so very nice, thoughtful n kind n it really does mean a lot to me.
When i went to other message boards they were very harsh with me n i spent every day crying. I kept going back because I never knew there was other support sites until I found this one.
People do not force me to call myself an addict here. I guess i am one :( but I'd like to hope that i sm not offending snyone by that as I am not going at anyone im just struggling to come to terms with all this as i've led a dheltered life n haven't so much as had a fag.
I've had this 'addiction' thing for 10 months thats all was using upto 700mg codeine though Zi don't think the doctor believed me as he's prescribed me 15 mg x 4 (60mg) codeine phoshate. My mam brings them here n i take them.
When i went to other message boards they were very harsh with me n i spent every day crying. I kept going back because I never knew there was other support sites until I found this one.
People do not force me to call myself an addict here. I guess i am one :( but I'd like to hope that i sm not offending snyone by that as I am not going at anyone im just struggling to come to terms with all this as i've led a dheltered life n haven't so much as had a fag.
I've had this 'addiction' thing for 10 months thats all was using upto 700mg codeine though Zi don't think the doctor believed me as he's prescribed me 15 mg x 4 (60mg) codeine phoshate. My mam brings them here n i take them.
Yes!!!!! It feels exactly like you can't live without the pills. I want to cry, you're hitting home so much here. Once you really, really wean off of them and are down to nothing...you're gonna see the clouds part and remember that you DID live without those pills. And it was great.
Hi..I know I just responded to you...but our situations seem super similar and I want to share something with you. Someone else mentioned that you have a child. I have a five year old son. I used to be a teacher, and one of my pre-kindergarten student's mother passed away. She was addicted to painkillers and codeine (any opiate I guess), just like you and me. She went to sleep with my student in her bed. When my student woke up, she tried to wake up her mother in the bed with her. Her mom was already dead. This is not some story I found on facebook. This happened to a little girl in my class. It was devastating. This happened nearly six years ago now. Like I said in my other post, March 23rd I decided to get off these stupid opiates. The reason for that was because the night before I had a dream that basically replayed the whole thing when the little girl's mom died.
I guess I was being selfish, but I never thought that that could happen to me and my son. It could happen to you and your child. After awhile, it's not gonna get you high anymore and you're gonna look for something else to supplement it with to get higher.
You need to do this for yourself and your child. Don't get preoccupied by your family and their judgment and afflictions. Rise above their afflictions. You can do it!
I guess I was being selfish, but I never thought that that could happen to me and my son. It could happen to you and your child. After awhile, it's not gonna get you high anymore and you're gonna look for something else to supplement it with to get higher.
You need to do this for yourself and your child. Don't get preoccupied by your family and their judgment and afflictions. Rise above their afflictions. You can do it!
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