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575762 tn?1223092762

Withdrawing from O/C can anyone help?

To: Anyone
I have back pain and i am prescribed oxycodone 30mg -480 per month and oxycontin 80mg only get 30 of these.  My tolerance is well i have to take 8 of the 30's thats 240mgs or 3 of the 80's, been on this stuff hard core for 2.5years.  I want off badly I rarely even feel any pain in my back now but that might be because i am heavily medicated all the time.  My dr. wants me to have surgery but i have no insurance and cant keep a job for longer than 2 weeks due to falling asleep any time i am still.  Someone broke in my car and sold all my pills, i have nothing for 7 more days.  No one will help me b/c the police woman who took the report did not include the theft of the pills.  She really screwed me bad.  I am in terrible withdraw and just want to die.  my dr is out until next friday and the secretary acts like she wants me to burn and die.  i think she hates people who take pain pills she acts like it.  Went to the e/r - no help there!  My gosh people are soooo mean, they just see what a high dose i have been on and they are like... you deserve to die.  What can i do??? I have been sitting here reading the postings and it has helped me not want to kill myself.  What a life!  I just turned 40 and have lost everything, rent is due on the first and i don't even have a dollar, havent made a car payment in 2 months which has all the windows busted out from the robbery.  I pray alot but i'm really feeling completely alone. i have nothing and absolutely no one to talk with or help me.  It really feels like the end.  Does anyone have any inspirational thoughts.  I have 2 boys that i gave to their dad to give them a normal life the only thing keeping me going is that i am suppose to get them tonight, but with the shape im in... i don't know i don't want them to see me jonesing like this - OH man!  
15 Responses
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575762 tn?1223092762
Thank you for your thoughts.  I would love to never take another pain pill. Just one problem, the crushed disc in my back that i need surgery for...  I guess i will have to get surgery as was suggested or live with the pain.  The pills are getting soooo old.  They make me sooooo lethargic and sleepy.  I have fallen asleep standing up.  Last week i woke up and i was standing at the top of the stairs.  I usually jump real hard when i start to fall over, thank God i didn't do that at the top of the stairs, i would have killed myself for sure.  For some reason, really calmly i just opened my eyes and looked down.  It scared the **** out of me!!!  Has anyone fallen asleep that way.  Or a lot of the time when i drive i will nod off for 1/2 sec at a time.  I slap myself, pull my hair anything to just stay awake until i can get home, specially with the boys in the car, it just happens so fast.  I don't even feel sleepy until I get still. Does this happen to anyone else?
Helpful - 0
536882 tn?1225512859
that is the trick the pills play.  they are not your friend.  If you could lose this one thing, that makes you feel good for a short - very very short- time, you would gain everything else back.  You should use this time to get rid of them for good.  It's God's way of talking to you, but you're not listening.  Once your doctor gets back, you'll be popping again and it's going to get to the point where no amount will satisfy you.  Get up and defend yourself against this!!  Its always easier to give in, but thats what youve been doing since you started taking them.  You know what you have to do -- QUIT.  Quit feeling sorry for yourself and get angry.  When you go to your doctor next week, tell him you're sick of being a slave and are ready to get some help with it.  Admitting there is a problem is a HUGE step, and you should be proud you've made that one.  Don't go backwards now, take the next step and get the help you need.  Once you're not a slave anymore, you'll have the money to pay the bills, be able to get a job and feel better about yourself.
Helpful - 0
575762 tn?1223092762
Thanks again for your kindness.  I guess i don't have the want to to stop because like you said i view my pills as my friend.  My last friend.  I don't want to lose the one thing that can make me feel good.  Thats what im fighting to get past.  It feels sooo good, to feel good, even just for an hour or two.  I'm sure the devil himself invented oxys.  In the garden of Eden, it was an oxy Eve ate not an apple - Ha!
Helpful - 0
583922 tn?1221872822
I feelk for you too.I had a nasty oxy habit and am clean abour 10 days.  I feltl sooooooooooo bad at first, but I really feel great tonite.  Brittney had it right,  NO COINSIDENCES IN LIFE:  things happen for a reason.  I hope all things went well with ur children.  My daughter has been such a source of support,.  If you need a reason, look in their eyes.  it will be there.  

I too have back pain, but am taking aleve for now.

keep in touch

luv and hugs
sandy
Helpful - 0
594276 tn?1275235088
I also had suicidal thoughts when I was tapering off vicodin.  It seemed easier than the wd's.  The thing that was hard to realize, was it was the drug making me have those thoughts.  I had to change my thinking from 'the pills are my friend' to 'the pills are my enemy now'.  I've been clean almost 60 days now and when I quit, I poured 3 bottles of vicodin down the toilet.  A month later I found another bottle in my room, tossed those, THEN, I was getting out of the shower yesterday and saw a pill on the floor by the sink.  I looked at it and laughed and said 'you can test me all you want, I'm not giving into it' and flushed that one too.  Detoxing was difficult but I took suboxone for 5 days and it help a lot.  I still had some wd's after that but I just got through the day and each day turned into another sober one and I just took one day at a time.  You can do it!  We're all here for support, and you will get all kinds of inspiration here and helpful ideas.  Meds that helped me were serax, clonidine, trazodone for sleep and Ibuprofens for body aches.  Hot tubs or baths help to.  Since you are out of pills now, take this opportunity to quit instead of getting your refill next week.  I promise you your pain will subside.

I have a question for everyone..... Have any of you been sneezing a lot more than normal?  I heard it's one of the wd symptoms from opiates.

Good luck, and try to stay strong, it will get better!!
Helpful - 0
594276 tn?1275235088
Hi Brittaney,  I totally agree with what you said to jbailey.  There can't be that many coincidences without someone trying to get a message across.  It was very insightful and inspiring!  Good to see the support!
Terri
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Oh hon, your story breaks my heart! I soooo feel for you like everyone else on here.
When we become addicted, we isolate ourselves from the world. I don't think we want the world to know what or who we have become. At least I am like that, and what I can gather from this site, most are like that.
You can Email me anytime you like at ***@**** I'd be more than glad to talk to you and try to help.
I hope you're doing better..and please know, you are NOT alone here. We have all been there in one way or another. Talk to you soon! :-)
Helpful - 0
575762 tn?1223092762
Thank you all for such kind and wonderful comments!  I found some methadone so i think i will be okay for another 7 days when my dr. gets back in.  I only take like 10mg every 6hrs, i know how to take it and know the very long time it stays in your system.  Just lately i wonder what life is all about what is it for?  I see other people even on TV and life seems so easy and effortless and they have so much to look forward to, they have stuff to do and barbeques and get togethers with family and friends, normal stuff like work etc. and then theres me i had all that until 5 years ago.  Now i have no husband, and no kids hardly ever, no money, no friends, no job, no boyfriend absolutely no one to talk to.  I live in Salt Lake and i am attractive I don't get it.  I think i isolated myself too much with the drugs.  I would love to talk if anyone would like to correspond.  How could i give u my number or e mail address?
Helpful - 0
539990 tn?1219474755
I am now on my sixth day of c/t off of oxycodone, having had these monster pills sneak up on me and rob me of my life! All of a sudden, I am an addiction specialist. Thomas recipe, aminos protocols, thank God for this site. I had thumb surgery and somehow loved the feeling of oxys this time around, having had pain meds for other skiing related injuries and never, ever getting addicted.
In two months , I went from 2-5mgs oxy to 30-5 mgs per day.

I just want to think clearly. I met a girl on the 6th day of my addiction, and now she has no idea and has never known me sober...omg....

Helpful - 0
571167 tn?1223214465
WOW DO I REMEMBER THOSE DAYS. I WOULD'NT WISH THAT ON MY WORSE ENEMY!!!! MY HUSBAND & I WERE HOOKED ON THEM FOR 2 1/2 YEARS!!!  THEY R SOME NASTY LITTLE PILLS W/ SOME NASTY LITTLE WITHDRAWS. MY WHOLE LIFE REVOLVED AROUND THEM & ALSO ALMOST COST OUR LIVES ALSO!!! LET ME KNOW IF U WOULD LIKE TO TALK OK?- MARE~BEARS :)
Helpful - 0
175734 tn?1225134440
I think Suboxone was intended for people who are on super high doses of opiates.....You should really look into the Suboxone....Then you can just take (1) pill a day and not have to worry about running out......

I feel for you...big time......I'm not the best guy to be giving advice but i really wish i could tell you something to make things better....

Helpful - 0
596485 tn?1253821678
I know you are really having a tough time but you can make it through this.  Maybe it is a good idea to see your kids.  Remember when you look at them that even if you feel like you can't be strong for yourself right now that you have to stay strong for your kids.  You mention that you have missed 2 car payments.  If your car is financed isn't it insured?  Can you have the repairs covered from the theft?

You can do this.  You are worth it and your kids need and deserve their mom right?
Helpful - 0
199177 tn?1490498534
j,
I can tell you are suffering .I am so sorry for that .Nothing is worth taking your life for .I know at times it feels like there is . We are all here to help you threw lean on us .Take a look at the amino acid protocol in the" health pages " it has supplements that I think will help you .Try a little exercise everyday as well it makes so much of a difference even if it is just a walk.we are here.
avis
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You are surely having a horrible time.   I can relate because I too was on a pretty heavy dose of Oxycontin.   Just like you, I finally realized that I was feeding my addiction rather than the pain ---  It takes real honesty to admit that and I am proud of you.  That is the start of getting help.   I would recommend you study on this site about Suboxone -  perhaps you can find a doctor who will prescribe it for you - --  You can go to Suboxone.com and find a doctor in your area who prescribes it - --  The total cost for the doctor and the pills is around 500 dollars, but the relief is almost instantaneous.   In the meantime, the Thomas recipe is wonderful and will help with the W/D's.   I wish you the best - -- as you already know this stuff steals your whole life - and the only way to get it back is to take charge of it again.  cgmomma was right - in that you are already finding help  - you found this site and that is a good thing - -- - please stay on here and continue to tell us how you are feeling and doing.  It helps.  I will pray that you find additional help.  Blessings
Helpful - 0
557111 tn?1219712047
I am sooo sorry this has happened to you...the addiction, the robbery, the money, your children. Getting robbed is horrible, but i am sure you have heard the saying "everthing happens for a reason?."  Maybe it was meant for your pills to be stolen, the doc to not be in, the police officer "accidently" forgot to put the report in.  It sounds to me like God has really been listening to your prayers and this is His way of helping you.  Just my thoughts anyway.  This could be your chance to change your life and get it back.  Maybe having your boys over tonight will be just what you need to see that you don't want to be a prisoner anymore.  Hang in there and is it a coincedance that you found this site? Keep posting we are all here to help you...much love

Brittaney
Helpful - 0
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