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4667286 tn?1357762574

Wow, I quit...I think?

Well, today marks 2 1/2 days, with no Lortab...I was using, let's say a lot...Saturday alone I took 16 10mgs over the course of the day. Well, I feel totday like I'm dying! I had to leave work yesterday as I couldn't stay out of the bathroom. I went home and was in bed by 11am, & other than getting up for diahrea, I slept until the alarm went off for work this morning. Now, I can't focus, my head is killing me, my joints hurt, and and I hate the world! My heart is racing, stomach hurts & although I'm a peaceful person, I feel like I want to punch someone.

How long will this last? I feel weak...all I want to do is call my guy & re-up...I have to see him tomorrow to pay off a $200 front from last time (Friday), & I'm so scared that the little person in me will buy more....I hope this feeling passes fast, I don't know if I'm strong enough to do this....
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495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
You will feel like this for awhile. Usually day 3-4 is the worst.  Make sure you are drinking plenty of fluids.  Try and move around as much as you can.  Your body is trying to rid itself of the toxins.  Is there anyway you can have someone else pay off your debt to this person?  Meeting up with them now is not a good idea.  You gotta be strong and want this more than anything.  You gotta kick this supplier to the curb.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Yeah, what Sara said. I never took a legal drug in my life. It's hard, but those "friends" will disappear when you're clean and no longer a profit. I hope you have a mutual friend to deliver that $200, or maybe do a stash drop, but don't let those pills in your presence for now.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
If at all possible have another person give the money you owe. Avoid all temptation. And you'll feel bad for awhile. Think of it like the flu. Withdrawals generally last 4-5 days.

May I ask are you done or are you needing help thru withdrawals?? Just asking not judging.

Here for support. Bama
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I felt better on day 4.. Keep pressing forward
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It gets better I am pretty new here but I sneeze randomly, irritable, malaise and moderate body-headaches.. Lucky for my husband he is traveling this week again as he was last week to so he was the one subjected to my last weekend tirade as my job requires civility in a nauseating way!  But I never had a dealer but would head the advice and have someone else TRUSTWORTHY pay the debt .. I avoided Happy Hour last week I am not a big drinker I watch calories to the T as I hate the gym but I knew one of the girls would have Percs and i did not feel like explaining why I was declined as I have NEVER declined one in the past but the girls don't know about my chemical affair ..
Helpful - 0
1970885 tn?1435860428
I agree with the above. Get anywhere near a pill source at this stage and you WILL relapse. Have someone you trust pay the money; and make sure the dealer knows that you've stopped. If he/she doesn't respect your decision then threaten to call the cops. Whatever it takes...
I can't stress this enough - all the hell you've gone through will be a waste if you get near a pill source. You will relapse and will soon be back at day one. The older you get, the the worse the detox gets.
Helpful - 0
2218783 tn?1357571081
I agree with the advice you have been given and Also if you meet with dealer now Its not going to work in your favor and thats got to be #1 thing you do is cut PILL SOURCE tell them you no longer want to buy and if they dont respect your choice get Drastic! I mean it tell them you will turn them over to police if they ever sell to you again YOU HAVE to Its a Fight for your life! 16 10 Mg Lortabs is no joke! You are going to go to sleep one day and not wake up. Sorry to sound so dreary but its the TRUTH!
yes you are feeling like crap now but every day you are off them will get better! and you said you slept  all day Thats Great I never slept for more than an Hour and I was up pacing but as time went by I Got better and my thoughts were clearer. Get some support tell your family you need help or your friends Accountability and also start an aftercare program to help you get the tools you need to stay clean. Please dont meet with your pill source it will be too easy to get more and 1 is never enough dont fool yourself! . Keep posting and you will get support you need ! Take your life back dont be chained down by these pills. Life does get better I promise you .
Its been 7 hours since you posted How are you doing? Talk to us
Helpful - 0
4667286 tn?1357762574
Well, here I am, still haven't caved! I'm a wreck, but trying to function. Last night, I rode round for 2 hours with my sober friend...we cried, we hugged, & most of all, I know I now have someone I can turn to, who has been there. Today, I am having weird pain in my joints, slight headache (way better though) and I'm just tired as hell...oh and sooooo crabby! I keep having to get up, go outside & have a smoke and pace, my legs are so itchy and just need to move. I took Benedryl last night to help me sleep, because my legs were soooo restless, & my thoughts were blasting around in my head.

Another thing, I have recieved 2 calls today, that's 2 from my sources with the new scripts, both DECLINED...it was honestly one of the most empowering thing I've ever done, ever! I still have to meet the dude, he called wanting the money, and asked if I wanted to place an order, I declined politely, just said I needed to pay him off. I have nobody who knows him to deliver for me. He doesn't travel with the pills unless I place an order ahead of time, so I know he won't be carrying. When I see him, I am telling him that I'm done, then I'm erasing his number, & asking him to never contact me again. I don't know about any threatening type verbage, as he is a very powerful man here, lots of big connections in bad places if y'all catch my drift. For me, saying no to an order was a huge step, & I feel so good about it.

Tonight after work, I'm going to the gym with my sober friend. I've called her 2 times today, near panic attack scenario both times...in her gentle but firm way, she walked me through it. I am so lucky to have her in my life!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Just pay your debt and eliminate the source(s) from your contacts.  Move on and forward.  
Helpful - 0
1970885 tn?1435860428
Can you take your sober friend with you?  Honestly, you're doing great but our minds are in control and if you go alone you may not do so well.
Helpful - 0
2218783 tn?1357571081
I am with Kyle and was thinking same thing Or why cant your sober friend take the $$$ To him. Just looking out for you  by suggesting this. An addicts mind always thinking of ways to get over and the only one you will be hurting is you. You Are doing really good and I Just want to see you keep doing well. If You are wrong and he does have pills on him you will have a hard time not caving in at this point.
Think about it and I am glad you posted update :) Glad to see you are pushing thru and remember each day that passes you will get stronger
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My thought was initially with Kyle and Connell about bringing your sober friend.. I over analyze as a result of my line of work and I am thinking that the dealer may think the sober friend is a set up and there could be problems .. Unless it is someone they both know.. I thought originally the funds should just be sent by someone third party yesterday but it doesn't seem as if that is an option . Maybe a money order/money gram .. IDK but I work in the legal field and have some concerns with just showing up with someone that is not mutually trusted..but I don't have personal experience so I am not sure how their inner circle works.
Helpful - 0
4271307 tn?1353464775
Well, if your certain he doesn't travel with his stash, then just ask to meet him somewhere where you can literally drive up, hand his cash out your window and drive away. I know what your going through, and I also know that there is usually no shortage of customers out there. Most people (yes, even dealers) will understand that you quit or are trying to. Just be honest, tell him you can't take them anymore, you are going to erase his number and appreciate it if he would do the same, wish him well, and be on your way. I really see no need for threats right now. If he starts to call, you could always have your sober friend anonymously answer the phone for you (just so they don't put their name out there) and explain that you are done. I wish you well in this. My problem when I quit is that I was still hooking up other people who would throw me one or two for my trouble. Also, the fact that two neighbors from a crossed the street and one three doors down were all in that buy-sell circle, didn't really help. Now that you have quit, run and stay away from any temptation. Good luck!
Helpful - 0
52704 tn?1387020797
when i was finally desperate to find sustained recovery, i became willing to surround myself with people who had what i wanted . . . that's exactly what i did when i wanted to buy and use, i found people who had what i wanted .

i found people who had what i wanted in the rooms of AA and NA . . . people who knew, and were willing to show me, the way to move from the roller coaster of life in active addiction to being joyous, happy and free in active recovery.  

CATUF
2781
Helpful - 0
4667286 tn?1357762574
I did it! I met him, on a street near my house, gave him my money & told him that I am done. He looked puzzled, but then smiled real big & told me congrats, I told him thank you & he drove away. I went in the house & cried my eyes out & came near to a panic attack. THEN, I did something I didn't think I would, I admitted to my college aged daughter who is home from the holidays. To my surprise, she started crying & said she knew. She said the whole family has been suspecting for sometime now, but were to afraid to **** me off by saying anything, HA! Now making the choice to quit, ON MY OWN, with no intervention, no outside influence means even more to me!

Today, I still feel foggy in the brain, but other than my neck bones feeling crunchy and a slight headache, I don't feel too bad. I think I'm over the hump of ridding my body of this poison!!!!! YAY! I will post more later....thank you all sooooo much for your insight, it means so much to hear it from folks who have gone through it!
Helpful - 0
4790101 tn?1359223637
Good for you! I have done the same to my connects and that smile you mentioned was like a smirk in my case like I'll be back soon... HA! not this time... For some reason, I KNOW I'M DONE :)
Helpful - 0
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495284 tn?1333894042
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