Yeah.. I know

[lild713]

I was clean for a couple month's or so, also I mean school is starting and I just got into a car accident, Therefore they prescribe me pain killers. I'm like oh man here we go again and at first made me threw up and I don't know I'm determined to quit literally and sometimes it does get lonely before and I start to think about it and I've tried running,etc. Please put you're best input to save this college student so I can walk to the stage and grab my Accountant Degree. Thank you all/Family. #love I'm ashamed of myself, And I just lost my Grandpa as well which made me didn't care for myself or nothing at all. Sigh..................

[lild713]

How is everyone holding up?

[lild713]

Yea I do have time off right now =/ and Vicodin,3yrs or so

[EvolverU]

What are you taking & how long was your habit this time? Do you have time off right now?

[lild713]

I was clean for a bout 5-6 month? and I'm taking 3-4 daily..=/

[EvolverU]

Hi lild & Welcome back :)

Can you refresh our memories (or @ least my poor one;) ? How long was your clean time before the accident, how long were you using this time & for how long? What is your accumulated use time on opiates? What are you taking right now & @ what dose?

Let's try to get you to that dais for your degree opiate-free!

[lild713]

Yeah you're right...Thank you so much for you're advice

[Bubulous]

Those are powerful words and I am sorry for your loss.  I hope you can get through this grieving process without letting pills do the work.  The thing is you are gonna have to deal with this eventually anyway and now, although the timing of this tragedy is horrible, is time for you to discover how to finish this process.  This is the process that you and all of us will be repeating for the rest of our lives.  It can go two ways:
1.  We grieve, find peace, then accept our life
2.  We use, grieve during withdraws and attempts at sobriety.... do this for a very long time, then finally accept our life
The funny thing is from what I have seen and learned.  Either way you will recover from the pain.  Using just takes a lot longer and makes you miss opportunities to feel the presence of the essence of the ones we have lost and loved.  I wish you the best of luck and you stay strong.

[lild713]

Yes super close last words he told be " I rest easy and be good and finish school for me and work ..." I thought he mean't as a parent like I'll have a good night sleep but not forever...and that still haunts me till this day.

[Bubulous]

Were you close with your Grandpa?