535089 tn?1400673519

YouCan Do It... I Did....

Hi to all,

I would like to offer my story in hopes that what I will tell you will make a difference in you life.

Back in 2007 I joined MedHelp. I was using pain meds to the highest degree. Fentanyl 150mcg x 2 days, Oxycontin, Oxycodone.. anything I could get. I did have a script for Fentanyl and Oxycodone and the others were off the streets.  I was an active member in the Pain Community and one day in 2008 I started " The Chronic Pain Couch " group here at MedHelp. The majority of my pain med use started back in 1991 after my first back surgery. To date I have had 6 back surgeries.

On December 27th, 2012 I tried to commit suicide. I realized that one day I really had no life at all. I had built the walls around me over the years and rarely left my house. MedHelp, the Pain Community and the Couch had become my best friends. I was Hospitalized for a week and things seemed better for a short period.

On January 13th, 2013 I took a combination of Baclofen and Lyrica and 1 hr. later had a hard time breathing. I was rushed to the Hospital only to find that 4 days later I was on a ventilator in the ICU. I can't tel you what happened because I really don't know, but the Docs seemed to think that I was on some mind altering drugs not detected. Well, that wasn't true but none the less it was in my Medical Records. STRIKE 2.

Shortly afterwards my current Doctor pulled me off ALL my opiates with weaning me. I was furious to say the least... how dare he !! Heck I was in pain.. or so I thought.

In May of 2013 I started a drug rehab called " New Start". I was placed on Suboxone and made to start an Intensive Outpatient Treatment program.  I had asked the Psychiatrist if this was really necessary because in my eye's I wasn't hooked nor did I need treatment. BOY, was I wrong.  I went through a 4 week, 4 day, 3 hour program and after completing my first step I knew I was in the right place.

I am now 1 year clean and still attend the New Start program. I go to a once per week After Care group on Fridays and have never felt happier in my life. This program was the right thing for me and has kept me clean to this date.

So, I'm here to tell you that programs like this work... don't be afraid or think that you can do this alone because you can't. You have a disease like myself.

I still have those days where I wish I could have just one more pill or patch but that's not the answer. I will admit that 2 weeks ago I did fall and used. That started after I had a kidney stone. I was given 15 tabs of hydro and low, behold I went out and bought a patch. I realized just what I had done and am paying for it to this day. I was so mad at myself. I went back to the group and spilled my guts and now feel better. It will not happen again if I have anything to say about it.

I am still an active member here and still run the " Chronic Pain Couch" as I still have pain bit can control it but OTC meds. I am an avid believer that most of us don't need the opiates. Don't get me wrong.. some really do need the help, I am just not one of them. I now try and relay the message of non use of opiates on the Couch.

Well, that's my story... I hope it helps even one person.

My best,
6 Responses
Avatar universal
Hello Molly, thankyou for your very insightful and helpful post !!!
I do congratulate you on your 1 year clean and am sorry you fell.
It just goes to show we will always have our illness no matter how far clean we are.
I prey you make a quick recovery and can get to another year.
Thankyou : )
495284 tn?1333894042
Great post Molly~
1801781 tn?1461629469
thanks for posting.  We all need a reminder why we are here.  Congrats on your recovery and honesty.  
Avatar universal
I am so happy you got the right help. You mentioned being given suboxone. How long did you stay on it or are you still on it?
535089 tn?1400673519
Hi Larsy,

I am still taking the Subs and plan to wean off of them sometime this summer. The Doctor who is prescribing said that the average time of one being on the Suboxone is approx. 1 - 1.5 years. I wold agree with him. I feel that I can do without.

My Husband is a strong supporter in my life, I'm not so sure I could have come this far without him.

Thanks to all who responded.

My best,
Avatar universal
Thank you so much for sharing this!!!
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495284 tn?1333894042
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