addicted to everything now apparently...

[evilways]

I've struggled with pain pill addiction for 3 years now. It's gotten to the point that I'll take anything just to alter my  reality and get through the day. Not hard street drugs, but things like gabapentin in high doses and scary high doses of prescription speed. Now i'm not even sure what i'm addicted to. I'm just withdrawing off of it all. I'm out of everything this morning and facing the terror of withdrawals anxiety is the worst part so far. I'm so scared, I hate myself.

[IwillDoThis]

Evil - you are not alone, we all used pills to suit our needs, make us feel things.  I just wanted to let you know you are not alone.  It doesn't matter much what you are addicted to suffice it to say you have those addicitve behaviors and that is what you need to address, why do you want to escape, how long since you knew the real you and looked into clear eyes in the mirror?  YOU are a wonderful thing, you are worthy of all this life has to offer, just come along wtih us and give yourself a chance to get sober.

I took lots of hot showers while I was detoxing, oh that water bill!  but it helped.  Lots of immodium, gatorade, coconut water, bananas, crackers - do keep hydrated.  Days 2 and 3 are going to stink but the only way to end opiate addiction is through it.  Hang on one minute more, one hour more and know that it is a temporary situation and you WILL feel better.

Welcome and post often for support - we'll be here!

[LostNoMore]

Hi Evil - You're not alone here, as Mark pointed out. I was a total pig when it came to drugs. I always wanted more.It didn't matter that I was stealing meds from family or buying them on the street. We're not bad, we're sick. Look up the thomas recipe (link at the bottom of page) and stay hydrated, you will get through this. Take care and keep posting.

[Mark42190]

I was right there with you.  Remember many people are dealing with or have dealt with the exact same thing you are dealing with.  You are not alone!  I would take anything to make me not feel.  I hated myself, I counldn't stand looking at myself in the mirror.  I suggest going to an AA/NA meeting where people will comfort you.  If you have the money I strongly suggest a counselor.  God is with you and loves you.  It may not feel like it but trust me he is there watching over you because he wants the best for you.  If you have been taking a bunch of different drugs at high doses, the withdrawals could be dangerous and you might want to go to the hospital.  You can do it though.  I was in your position 3 months ago and was blessed by God to overcome my addictions.  It is scarey but put your trust in God and ask him to comfort you.  Good luck you can do it and are definitly not alone.