addicted to pain pills

[Mikki_35]

Hey everyone, I have been snooping around on this site for over a month and I have gained valuable info. THANK YOU! I have finally gotten up the courage to post my own story/ question. I had surgery over a year ago and since have been taking different meds. ranging from percocet, vicodin, skelaxin, flexeril, methadone, valium, xanax etc. My problem is with the narcs. I seemed to have kicked the methadone problem with the help of percs and vics. My problem has consisted of anywhere from 8-15 oxycodone's or hydrocodone's per day. Now I have 18 vicodin left and I'm trying to figure out how to do this without going thru the cold sweats, diarrhea, RLS, etc. I have gone thru it many times but have always gone back to the pills one way or another, be it the ER or the walk in clinic. Never have I admitted to having a problem. I am in school, have young kids, and a spouse. I want to kick it on my own. Can anyone help???? I have taken 6 vicodin today and I'm staring at them debating taking more. AHHHHH! I have valium to help me get thru w/d. The problem is I have to take like 5 or so just to be able to sleep at night. I think my tolerance to pills in general is insane. Any advice?? Thanks for listening:)

[fent_ct_or_die]

i just cold turkey fentanyl 75mcg and oxy hydro and methadone (when i could get it) god knows how many pills i took... my poor liver, for over 2 years without stopping. my wife informed me im on day 11 off all opioids. last night was the first night i even slept this WHOLE time!!! i was going insane!!!! if i have pills i take too many. so when i decided to stop i just used all i had left and went for the ride. i cant control whithdrawal but trust me. Fent addiction is no joke brother. i was litteraly convulsing all day everyday for a week with no WAY i could sleep. twilight zone? i was way out there man. still cant remember some of the things i did... whew. yours wont be that long. trust me... just sit tight and FEEL the pain. my wife and daughter say and watched me almost die. i want to REMEMBER that. take it all in... less chance u will decide to want to have to detox again. i had a dr tell me i was going to end up dying. lost 20lbs in 7days. hope my story of hell can help you. if you chose to taper with that small amount its going to take even LONGER. but that is your choice man... im not saying a taper is not possible but can you control your use?? i sure as hell cant.. i did what i did because im stubborn and aparently somewhat crazy... aint we all. i wish the best of luck to you man!!!! god speed!

[hampstead]

I am on day 2 tapering off from 4 a day 10/325  hydro to 2 a day is there any one out there  with some good advice about tapering off please let me know i get to  5 or 6 days then i start again I am not going C T i did it once it was pretty bad  hampstead

[chrissy682]

i always said "it will never happen to me" well, here i am, today, without pills. first day in a loooooong time. I am tired, I feel worthless, I am texting everyone in my phone to find me some. I hate being like this. This is someone who NEVER would have popped a pill if it wasnt ibprofren. My exterior hides it well. I dont look like someone addicted to pain pills, but I am and I HAVE NEVER admitted it before today. I need help, I just dont know how to get it.

[worriedsister60]

Hi, I am new to this forum. I have just finished reading some of the posts and felt the need to tell my story. If this helps even one person ... it will be well worth it.
On April 2, 2008, I received a call from my sisters boyfriend. He said my sister was in the hospital and the doctor would only tell him to have a family member call him immediately. When I called the hospital, I was told that my 40 year old sister had a severe stroke and was in the operating room having emergency brain surgery. He then said "I don't think your sisters going to make it and if she does, she will most likely be a vegtable". When I arrived at the hospital, I had to make the worst decision of my life ... as the doctors asked me if I wanted a DNR put on my sister. My answer was yes as I already new through talks with my sister, that she would never want to live this way.
I walked into her room to find her hooked up to every tube you could imagine. She was so swollen it didn't even look like my sister.
As days went by, I continued to sit by my sisters side ... playing the TV, talking to her, rubbing her arm, sleeping in a chair and doing alot of praying. Then finally there was a sign of hope, my sister squeezed my fingers. When I told the nurse, he said "I'm sorry but it was just a reflex". Upon my insistance, he came and checked it out for himself and almost fell on the floor when my sister squeezed his fingers too!
It has now been two months and my sister is slowly recovering in a nursing home.
The reason I'm telling you this is because my sister almost died that day from an unintentional overdose of "Dilaudid" also known as "Hydromorphone". My sister's doctor prescribed this medication to her six years ago for back pain and she's been addicted to it ever since. On the evening of her stroke, she had taking some of these pills and then later that evening while still in a stupor ... she forgot and took more.
At this time, I am still fighting to get my sister off this medication. We have a long road in front of us but together ... we will get through this.
So, I'm asking ... if any of you are addicted to Dilaudid/Hydromorphone please seek help now. Don't let what happened to my sister, happen to you too.

[4jenna]

I to have been physically dependent on pain pills (hydrocodone/Lortab).  I'm on my 5th day clean.  I'm so determined to be finished with it all this time.  For the last 3yrs i have depended on them to get me threw my days.  What i found that has helped me is energy drinks, it somewhat gets rid of that run down feeling.  It is very hard.  I have tried many a times to come off of them.  I tried Red Bulls but that just makes the diarea worse.  But there's something called Monster Energy drink and it seems to work fine.  As for the headaches i take Excedrin Migraine which works like a charm.  I still have nausea and cravings but i'm going to bite the bullet for my two babies.  At first when i started taking them i thought they made me a better mother.  I was like super woman.  But its really not worth it. Like i said its only my 5th day but i am hopeful.  Also, as far as the energy supplements go there are these little bottles of 5hour energy shots that work or the Rocket Shots.  Yesterday was a terrible day for me, but today was a little bit better.  I hope tomorrow is even better.  To all Good Luck and be strong.

[Fallingdaisy]

Hi, I am right now trying to get off the pain pills.  I do have chronic pain and am still under medical care.  I just felt I was losing the fight over my pain and have felt the need to stop the pills.  I am now sweating, my hands are cold, my head hurts, I can't sleep.  Does that sound like I am addicted.  My family was told not to try and reach me for three days and my husband is on a business trip.  I am still taking what the Dr. has prescribed and less if I can.  But I am feeling the need to take more everyday.  So far I haven't stepped over that line.  Perhaps you can get a feel for me if I really need to be doing this.  Thanks  "falling"

[Fallingdaisy]

Hi, I am right now trying to get off the pain pills.  I do have chronic pain and am still under medical care.  I just felt I was losing the fight over my pain and have felt the need to stop the pills.  I am now sweating, my hands are cold, my head hurts, I can't sleep.  Does that sound like I am addicted.  My family was told not to try and reach me for three days and my husband is on a business trip.  I am still taking what the Dr. has prescribed and less if I can.  But I am feeling the need to take more everyday.  So far I haven't stepped over that line.  Perhaps you can get a feel for me if I really need to be doing this.  Thanks  "falling"

[Nya]

Does anyone have good advice as far as tapering off goes.  Perhaps tapering off pain pills (or any pill) will help in the reduction of w/d?  I tried years ago but decided to do it cold-turkey with valium. It was horrible, but I did it.  It can be dangerous depending on the drug, so I guess tapering off might be better. I am addicted to pain pills, muscle relaxants and Klonopin.  All resulting from an accident and spinal surgeries, but now I'm stuck and it's affecting my relationships and I'm not motivated to do anything. I even let a good man get away without trying to get him back. I just didn't care and that's not like me. He didn't know why.  As far as the Valium was concerned, that was an addiction for another reason.  Funny, I would never go back to the big V, but I've found better ones.  I love being clean and hate the fact that I'm dependant on drugs.  I guess I'm just reaching out knowing the answer, but I have no one to support me right now so I feel alone.  Oh well, my fault. :(

[Mikki_35]

So what everyone is saying is that W/D is immpossible to avoid? I can't help but get angry with western med. Dr's in general. After my surgery in 2005 I was given lots of percocet and then the Dr.'s just cut you off without any warning of W/D or without telling you to taper etc. Why is it that people on this board are more informative than Dr.'s?! I'm just venting so no one has to reply but you know what I mean??? It's crazy. Does anyone know how long the feeling of not really being yourself (in your mind), feeling like you're in the twilight zone lasts? When you go thru W/D's? Or maybe no one ever experienced that?
Thanks for all the support!!
Mikki

[orangefyre]

The "twilight zone" as you describe it is different for everyone.
HYDRATE,drink, drink, WATER! Not soda, not tea, water. Get it out of you.
Day 17 for me, and I got slammed with a cold. But I feel good. No, I am so very proud of what I have accomplished!
You just need a hand to hold along the way. Addiction itself is lonely, always hiding it, lieing about it. Withdrawal is no different its VERY LONELY, only YOU will know what you are going through. And of course, all of us here have been there, some more than once.
You just have to adjust your attitude, to I AM GOING TO BEAT THIS DEMON!
A little encouragement and support and you, too will be free of drugs.
Lisa

[chemmonster7]

I can try and help other than tapering you will go through w/d they suck and there is lots of support here I have had or still do will always be an addict any way I was on methadone for 4yrs quit c/t xanax did help alittle good luck I will be later tonite

[adman412]

here is some cheap advice.  be done with the pills.  while withdrawals can be very difficult, they are not impossible -- alot of folks here will help you though the process...and since this is the internet -- they seem to be around 24/7.  there is no short cut -- you will get anxiety, be sore, have headaches and go number 2 like 1,000,000 times.  there is a recipe that lurkes on the board...it can be helpful.  if you can...use the remaining pills and taper a bit, that may ease the process.  bite the bullet -- if you can't muster the strength to do it for yourself right now...do it for your family, your spouse.  i think you will be pleased with the results when you come out on the other side.  good luck and know two things:...whatever the ailment is..it will pass; and time takes time, if you rush it you will get frustrated.  good luck -- you can do it.