Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
190466 tn?1215884854

all my good friends

i want to say to all of yall that i truly thank everyone of you. ive been against suboxone because i abused them in the past, but i have a choice to ask my wife to get back on or take a week off of work to detox and stand to loose a couple thousand dollars. I would see the dr tommorow and get 40 8 mgs and let her take control of them and use them as the dr says to. ive got IRS probs and havent filed in 7 yrs and am behind on house payment. i just dont think i can afford to get us any deeper in this. any advice would help me greatly right now. i could spend 318.00 on he sub or hang here for at least a week not working what would you do. thanks Clay TX  
16 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
I don't care what you are going thru right now - no excuse for treating your wife and children like ****.  You need to be thanking them every day for still being with you - many people in their situation would already be out the door.

Cindy
Helpful - 0
177003 tn?1266270355
I understand how hard this has been on you and the kids. Unfortunately, I know Clay is driving himself further into addiction because he doesn't like himself and he's helpless to stop the insanity. You and him have time to work out the problems in your relationship but the kids are the ones being hurt by something they shouldn't have to deal with. Sub works for some addicts, but many become addicted to it, also.

I can't offer up and idea for you and I'm sorry for that. I do know the kids come first and they shouldn't have to suffer for any reason. Can you communicate with Clay?? He's hurting the ones he loves the most (just like they always say) You and the kids.

My prayers are for you and him to come to an understanding first about the kids and how to keep them out of the real bad part. The second part for you and Clay to come to a compromise about how he will get clean. You can push an addict forever and it won't make them stop. He has to want that.

Both of you are such good people. Dealing with an addict is hard. Decide together what the method of getting clean will be. The main thing is that it DOES have to happen soon.
Hugs to both of you,
LS
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Wow there is so much you guys have to offer, Lu my heart goes out to you and in your time of need you are so kind as to get on and help Justine - Justine doesn't want clay to have the suboxone it's him that wants to go that road.  You give good advice and as usual Bruce (rooftrash) is there with so much wisdom.  I know Justine will listen and hope and pray that Clay does too.
As Lu points out quite correctly it is not clay but the drugs talking. I just got a phone call from my man completely blank about our phone conversation last night.....he is on suboxone (he says for alcohol withdrawal - nope it's for opiates) and he had been drinking he reckons 5 beers - I reckon couple ltrs of wine - he ranted and raved and hung up on me.  Sober today and the real person was on the phone.  It's hard I know.  And Bruce is soooo right no matter what you feel clay please please please do not bring your kids into it.  What they go through now will form them as adults, it doesn't just get erased from their memory bank.  Also yep Bruce I reckon most users have some underlying problem especially those who got hooked not initially from taking pain relief but there has to be something deep down from childhood or school or something that makes you want to escape what is for the most a nice place...life!
Thinking of you all and god bless
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You poor darlin'  you must be so sick and tired and drained; I know it saps the life out of you doesn't it?  As I have said before I have a 17 yr old son, 15 yr old daughter and then my man - so a lot of the time I feel like I have 17 yr, 15 yr and a 2 yr old, or sometimes as old as 5!!
You know if he can do it on suboxone if past experiences tell you no then I agree with you.  If he gets annoyed perhaps suggest one more try with suboxone and you will police the intake of it.  See in Australia the patient has to take the suboxone at a designated pharmacy (chemist) and they must put pill under tongue until disolved and show pharmacist prior to leaving that pill has gone - they are watched from start to finish.  Pain cause every day they have to go but stops abuse of suboxone - maybe your Dr. can do something similar?  My man too started with weed, then tried other stuff E, H mushrooms and all the Cr** under the sun, then his brother who has back pain said "Man try this it gets you wasted" (codeine) so my guy had no pain.  What gets me is the way they talk about my friend gave me this - FRIEND?  Duh equivalent to saying my FRIEND gave me some rat poison and I enjoyed swallowing it.  As for his Brother what ever happened to brotherly love?  Imagine how our guys would feel if we sat one of our kids down and said now sweetie Mummy's got a real treat today I'm going to give you some lovely speed, it'll help you do your homework!!  These guys are NOT stupid so why do they do such stupid things to themselves?
Be strong girl and remember I'm here for you and I hear you!!
Luv Lynne
Helpful - 0
190466 tn?1215884854
He is threatening my oldest daughter and my first grader sat down to eat dinner and he told her she is going to be a fat a** like her mother, He is considered obese and I am far from it, my daughter is seven and at a perfect weight. I guess he even has to make the kids feel bad. He said lets make some choices and gave me either I do one drug or the other.  This is not a choice.  I found a good chemicle and drug dependency psych and he said he will not use suboxone but his old hydro Dr. will let him use it forever, just will not be responsible for monitoring it and refuses to give us a real reciept.  Cash only and go away type.  This does not sound like a responsible Dr.
I do believe that if someone wants to quit bad enough it could work but I just do not think after this many failed attempts it is crazy.  

Well time to reassure my children and explain it again in the disease speech.
Thanks so much foryour support,
Justine  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You dear girl I know what you are going through - my kids got all the nasty comments too.  My daughter was told she's a slu* and will be pregnant by the time she's 15 - come and gone and she is still a virgin.  He calls my son Gay and tells me things like I'm a liar and old and bitter and mimics my voice (I try and stay calm when he's yelling, so use a soft voice) and he says "Meeeemmii hello my name's Marilyn" - sounding like Monroe.  I would seriously think about investigating the doctor that just dishes out suboxone after already having dished out hydros to Clay - is there an agency you can report him to for investigation into his method of practice?
You're right cause the only person that can really help them kick the habit is themselves - everyone else can give a helping hand and support but if they don't REALLY want to then it won't work.  You're in my prayers and those special little darlings - your kids they don't deserve any of this. I hope Clay gets the real deal in the end and step up and be a man as good ol' Dr. Phil says....love him to bits he's brilliant - hey ever thought of Dr. Phil intervention?  I'm being serious!
Hugs and luv to you xxoo
Helpful - 0
186166 tn?1385259382
you do realize that clay has lost the ability to reason, don't you.   right now, you are dealing with "clay the addict" not clay your husband and your children's father.   they are two different ppl...as i'm sure you know.   if clay's past has shown that he cannot take the suboxene without abusing it also...then why do you think he can do it now?   tell me...what is different THIS time?   i think the answer to that would be "nothing"...same story...different verse.   are you strong enough to hand him his dose and not give into him wanting more?   and do you really want to do this?

justine...i'm not trying to be a b*tch here...i live your life...loving an addict.   you are enabling him...right now.   i know you love him but you cannot fix him.   you are allowing him to destroy not only your life but the lives of your children.   it is so not fair to them to have to deal with "daddy the addict".   justine...clay cannot do this alone...he has proven that...for 22 years, he has been proving that.   don't let him make the decision...he is an addict...you need to call the shots from now on.  

i have always liked clay and supported him no matter where he was in his addiction.   that has not changed...and i will be here to support him as long as he asks for it.   but you have got to put your children first.   i am not insensitive to your situation...just the opposite...i raised three addicts.

justine...you will be in my thoughts and i pray for your strength to shine through.

kim
Helpful - 0
192332 tn?1189755828
I'm sorry construction but you have to dig deep and WANT to clean up.you have to make that first step.it is the most important one and you have to do it for yourself first or it will never work.i don't care how much inpatient you go through,how much suboxone you take.In my opinion we use to kill feelings we can't deal with.we have to figure out why we have those feelings and learn to deal with them with a clear mind.When we do get clean[and you will]we are hit head on with all the guilt and all kinds of other feelings we have been covering up with drugs and alcohol for so long.that is why so many peeps relaps also.they can't deal with their reality once the drugs and alcohol are gone.The withdrawals aint sh1t compared to the reality i have had to face once i have stopped using.I know this is blunt and you probably want to tell me to FO because i know Brother.DO or DIE.Peace to you and your family.and leave the kids out of it!***@**** if you need anything Brother.God Bless
                            Bruce/The roofer
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I posted a comment under your post of "here I go again" so please read it.  As for the suboxone I reckon if you are going to let the lovely lady monitor your intake and decide now that since you have this wonderful support from her that you are going to be strong and not abuse her trust by trying to take extra...I don't think you will but I know from my experience (same as your wife's) that when that little monster starts up the lies start flying and the cravings take over, but it's not worth it.  Does Justine think suboxone is best way to go?  She's pretty clued up and I would think it is best way?  Just keep other temptations out of your way - I know it's hard but eg. if you hang with people that use then drop them and find new friends.  You've done it before so you can do it again, each day makes you stronger.  I realise you must be stressed with the financial side of things, IRS etc.  but you can get on top of that once you are better and you will get better cause it is an illness you can recover from!
Luv and hugs to you and Justine
xx Lynne
Helpful - 0
190466 tn?1215884854
You are so kind and I pray that Clay will get to where you are at.  The pain heals with sobriety for the wife and I bet yours is just happy for that.  You do give good advice no BS.  That is what this addiction **** needs.

God bless you,
Justine
Helpful - 0
192332 tn?1189755828
I'm doing it for me,so i can be a man and take care of my family.It aint easy either.Everyday is a struggle.It will probably be for the rest of my life.God Bless.
Helpful - 0
186166 tn?1385259382
now that's what i'm talkin' bout !!!!!!!!!!!
Helpful - 0
186166 tn?1385259382
now that's what i'm talkin' bout !!!!!!!!!!!
Helpful - 0
186166 tn?1385259382
oops!
Helpful - 0
190466 tn?1215884854
Well everything is back to ****.  Told me he wants to go to his old script Dr. and get back on Suboxone again.  He has tried this many times with no sucess.  He has stated on this forum that he would not recommend it.  He said that he never tapered them the way he was told to but forgets that I am the one who did it with him several years ago and it did not work.  He just told the kids that he will be on drugs, soma, hydro, weed etc. by the end of the week.  My oldest daughter said why do you want to be a drug addict and he said because he never wanted her or a wife.  He forgot to mention that he was a drug addict ten years prior to them or I.  I am not dealing with this very well and in my heart I believe that he just wants to trade one drug for another like he has done his whole life.  I knows that many of you have pains that brought you to taking the various pain pills that led to your addiction but Clay took them from his drug friend to get high.  He never was perscribed them for pain, and I can go to one of the hundreds of script Drs around town and get them for myself.  It is that easy here.  They do not even require an I.D. half the time.  Everyone in aa says that he needs to detox and hit 90 meetings in 90 days, use his phone list, get a sponser immediately and work the steps.  Now that is something he has never tried and I think that doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is insane.  Sorry if  I stepped on anyones toes and if you took Suboxone and it worked and now your off of them then I would like to know how long and what you truely think?.    
thanks, Justine
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey Clay....You and your wife need to discuss this and decide what is best for you....It sounds like you are leaning toward the suboxone....either way you go....my prayers are with you!  You can do this Clay and you have such wonderful support in your wife!!!!  Please be tough and get through this again....you know you can do it because you did once before!  This addiction really sucks and I want you to win the fight!
Peace,
Marcie
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Substance Abuse Community

Top Addiction Answerers
495284 tn?1333894042
City of Dominatrix, MN
Avatar universal
phoenix, AZ
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.