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Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
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Avatar universal

am i truly a good mother??

im 22 yrs old i have a 2 yr old blue eyed little girl that i live my life for. im not the type of mommie that gets a babysitter or puts her in daycare just because shes with me all the time shes perfection. after she was born i would say she was about ten or eleven months old i started doing pills all differnt things really mostly roxis. then about 7 and half months ago i got pregant with my son i stopped doing it all together, when i was about 4 months along my dad witch i love so deeply i equal to my children (if you think thats wrong i dont care i had only him it seemed growing up)anyhow he almost died and that sent me over the edge not saying it was right but it made things better for the time being well now 3 and a half months later im 7 1/2 months pregant and struggling to stay off of pills i stop for a lil then do it again i dont no what to do i feel as if im a bad mom and it kills me i wantied to tell my dr but scared they will take my babys off me sometime i wonder if they should?? am i worthlyof haven two wonderful children??god that would kill me my mother passed away when i was 18 months my bio father left the day they pulled the plug and my grandmother and i hated eachother so i only had my grandfather witch i call my dad. iv been thr sooo much not saying i have the right to get high to feel good but im confused am i a bad mother im not writing this for people to write me and tell me a a wonderful person i need addvise please if anyone can help or just have time to talk it would help!thank you guys for your time!!
4 Responses
199177 tn?1490498534
You need to tell you doctor ASAP honestly it's know longer about you and what trouble its about your unborn baby when you suffer with wd so does your baby .I know it is really scary but its the right thing and soctor are very understanding .The problem comes when moms not tell there doctor and there baby's wd
Your doctor can help you make a slow taper that is safe for you and your baby .Also then you need to look into recovery care because its going to be very stressful having a newborn you want to make sure you don't release like what has already happened .
Its going to OK but plz come clean with your doctor
1202033 tn?1273771354
Hi and Welcome,

First of all, if you are pregnant, you need to tell your OBGYB right away. They will know what to do to help you and baby. If you do not tell them, than they can not be prepared to help the baby if he/she is born under withdrawals of any kind. Do it for your baby. Also, if you do not tell them, child protective services will be called. If they know ahead of time and are given the chance to help you, they will not call.

Secondly, whatever plan you work out with your doctor needs to include some recovery care for youself. This should include a counselor. One who specializes in addiction would be especially helpful. But either way, you need to get to the bottom of your using in order to get past it. And it sounds as though you have plenty of issues you are struggling with. Until these are resolved in a way that you can live with, you probably won't ever see any long term sobriety.You can and should also attend some aa/na meetings. They are free. Anyone needing help can go. You need lots of outside support. You can't do this alone.

And lastly, you are not a mother who is bad and needs to become good again. You are a mother who is sick and needs to become well again. Please remember that.

I am a mother of three young children as well. They were my biggest motivation and i did everything i have asked you to do above. And until i did, i had never seen 71 days clean.

So get started on these things right away. Promise me. For you and babys sake. Your life and your childrens life will become so much more beautiful when you are 100% clean, sober and happy.

We are here for you. You can find tons of support here. And we have other pregnant ladies here as well. I had my last one 14 months ago.

Keep posting...........

Jackyxoxo
Avatar universal
Oh the post from Jacky is right on....listen to her...she sounds like a wise momma...best of luck...
Avatar universal
I know exactly what you are going through. When I was 21 yrs old I got preggers with my 1st son which was right after a back surgery. Since I had back surgery I was on a bunch of pain meds; oxy's, perks, everything. When I realized I was pregnant and tryed to stop I would get sick and wouldn't feel better until I took the stupid pill. I didn't get all the way off till my third trimester. My doctors did, however, know what was goin on. I know that the hardest part is coming clean to your doctors. It's soooo sucky because it's like you already feel like a bad mom and then you're gonna have doctors saying and feeling the same way. So, I know. Listen, everyone always says that you as a mother need to take care of you kids first. HOWEVER, if you are not well you can't. If you are sick you will never be able to be that mom you want and can be. The worst that will happen is that your doctors will offer and give you a name and number for a methadone clinic. This might sound scary but it is the healthiest and safest treatment not only for you but for baby. Methadone is proven safe for the fetus. The only downfall is that if it is still taken twoards your due date the baby will infact be born addicted to it and need a few days to a couple weeks of morhpine treatment to help the baby from withdrawling. You might think that this is terrible and you don't want you baby to go through withdrawls, however, the birth deffects on a baby due to narcotic abuse and addiction are ones that will last the babies life time i.e. heart defects, retardation,etc. Seriously you need to get health, take care of yourself, and then your kids. Good luck. God Bless.
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