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Avatar universal

another vicodin user

Just thought I would post here and maybe it will give me the strength and conviction to follow through this time.   My story is like most professionals who get hooked....surgery...pills...more pills.....addicted.....more and more and more pills.   Up to about 12-15 a day and been using about the last 8 months.   Father was a heroin addict so i never did anything my whole life, not even marijuana.  Then I had the surgury and was given them for the last 8 months even though i stopped needing them about 5 months ago.   When I run out I run and buy them from a friend.  Im on day 4...its difficult, I cant lie.  But, now that the rest of my workweek is through and i have a couple days to bum around i think i  will make it through.   I also have valium for sleep so that helps.  anyways i wish everyone the best of luck in there recovery.....i know we can do it.
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Avatar universal
Nobody knows im quitting.   Im failrly successful and its just too humiliating to let anyone else know.   Plus, if i told a friend/family that would just make them worry about me.  Nobody is too blame for my mistakes except myself, and ill be the only one who will worry about me.   But it is getting better so I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now.
Helpful - 0
3197167 tn?1348968606
If you are open to it.....getting involved in some type of aftercare will give you LOTS to do with your life.  You will meet a lot of other people in recovery and make some new friends.  It can be a small group, NA or AA, Celebrate Recovery or Overcomers Outreach, or a meetup group that does things together with like interests.  There are online meetings as well.
Usually if we "take something away", we need to replace it with something healthy.....or we end up full of holes....and we pull apart easy...kinda like swiss cheese LOL

Did you already tell your dr and your friend that you are clean and want to stay that way?  Do you have someone in person you can talk to about what you are doing?  Trying to do it alone and keep everything inside of you can lead to relapse.....we can't just stop taking pills and not change anything else in our lives. I hope you find some new hobbies and interests as well as make some new recovery friends.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks.   I think the biggest problem for me is just figuring out what to do with my life.   I have a good job but thats about all i have.   So i have things, like nice car and nice house.  But i dont have many friends and the ones i have ive alienated.   My family are a bunch of moochers so eveytime i talk with them they need money and its become awkward.   But at least when im taking the vics i feel alot better.   Im happy, even if its a false happiness.   Thats the hardest part for me is i have constantly justify quitting.   But ill quit and see where everything takes me.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Congratulations on reclaiming your life! Their is freedom in recovery! Its not easy but IT IS WORTH IT!! You can do this!!!
Helpful - 0
7671414 tn?1395660495
Welcome to our community..it sounds like u r ready to stop the rollercoaster we all know so well..U come to a good place.Keep posting and think about some aftercare.U were not on for long but,took large amounts.be patient with yourself and u will shine through..
Helpful - 0
1742220 tn?1331356727
you sound like you have a lot of conviction to stop, glad to hear it.  your habit wasn't _that_ long, and I know its a bich, but I think you will come through this ok, you just gotta keep moving forward.  good that you have the weekend off work.  keep posting here for support ... good luck.
Helpful - 0
3197167 tn?1348968606
Hi there and Welcome to the forum~

I could really relate to your story....though my time using pain meds was a lot longer.....awaiting surgery.  I got up to very high daily amounts, too.  You are doing GREAT at 4 days.....and it's good you have a few days to "bum around" as you said. LOL

If you haven't checked out the Health Pages here on MedHelp....they are full of info that will help you and educate you.  The Re-Posted Thomas Recipe is there, the Amino Acid Protocol is a good read and there are even foods that can increase your Dopamine levels as you recover.
The Health Pages are at the bottom of this page...Most Viewed and then you can click "see more".  I spent a lot of time reading and learning so I would know what I was going through.  

Make sure you drink LOTS of liquid....staying hydrated is HUGE...and an electrolyte drink like Vitamin Water or PowerAde, etc. are good additions to just plain water.  Eating high protein food/snacks helps the brain heal faster, too.

Let us know how you're doing.....welcome to recovery....it's so FREEING to not be chained to a bottle of pill.  
Helpful - 0
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