blah

[justlikeyou]

60+ days, blah, mostly blah lethargy prevails, wheres my enthusiasm and motivation?

blahs way better then w/ds

satisfied / gratful but blah.................

[marcatj]

you know, even people who aren't addicts or former addicts get the "blahs"...

just wanted to remind ya...

warmly,
mj

[rooftrash]

blah:[ i hate life.

[marcatj]

ah roofy... you know, 4 days ct/, i'm not sure it's possible to feel a whole lot else!!!

i'm sorry honey... need to vent?

-mj

[rooftrash]

i know.been here many times.I just wish i could ride my bike for some exercise.my doctor has me so restricted though.i cant even walk more than 10 min.depression is setting in.exercise does wonders for that.plus it is so hot here yesterday was 105 i think today is close.how are you?have you been to AA or NA? I think i will hit one or the other tomorrow as i have had lots of drinking experience too.How many days clean are you?

[marcatj]

ah buddy, i had 20 days clean pretty much, then last thurs started taking the pain meds again...  it was hard!!  i was really struggling for a few days, but for some reason today - by the grace of God - I took two this a.m. and don't feel like gobbling any more up... I'm hammered with pain, but I actually feel ok..  (goin' to new doc. tuesday to sked epidural.. hopefully that will rid me of the pain.  i hear good things.)  so the plan is to stop completely (again) next week.  i know i will because i can tell you, even just taking them a week now - i hate it.  i am ready for my life back.

i have not been to any meetings, but i did go to a few AA meetings about 5 years ago with my buddy who just got sober.  i have to tell you - i thought it was the most amazing, supportive thing i'd ever been to.

alot like here - but with faces!

we did go to one meeting that was kinda weird (the group) but the other couple we went to, like i said, were really great...

but enough about my hair.. is there any exercises you CAN do?  i know you had your knee done... :-/  also, have you read The Road?  I meant to ask you last nite.. if you haven't - it's amazing!!  i think you'd like it, based on what you said you liked.

-mj

[backpain24]

I just have to talk about this.  I used to be a world traveler, professional chef.  I have backpacked through Italy and Hawaii.  One day almost 2 years ago I hurt my back real bad.  It started out innocent enough, I was in the er and thet gave me percocets and valium, let me tell you I can still remember that night.  The pain was gone.  After that I went to get epidurals and painkillers.  I was ok, but still taking the pills for pain.  I had to get surgery last year I am 24 yrs old.  After surgery I still had pain so I found a Pain dr. who was happy to write rx as long as I stayed in treatment for epidurals and nerve blocks, now it has all gotten out of control.  I do't chill with my friends, my little sister even said "you have changed since you started taking pills!" she olny 12, but it hurt.  My family is now well informed about my addiction but since I am in pain with my back I can't stop taking the pills and lead a normal life, but while on the pills I get nothing done and am real depressed.  My dr, pharmacist have caught on.  I know I need to stop, but I am in pain all the time.  I hate this cycle.  I can't do this anymore

[justlikeyou]

ive had great results with a chiropractor 3 times a week.

slow but effective.

my back was bad, pain 24-7, now its quite good, comfortable most of the time.

also my pain was SIGNIFICANTLY REDUCED when i quit the pills (this is not unusual)

[marcatj]

that's good to hear, justlike you.  i too, see a chiro 3x week for PT; an acupuncturist, blah blah. have been for over 6 mo's..

for some reason, all the pain really ramped up again, off of the pills.. i personally felt like i couldn't handle another day in tears...

but i do know one thing: this is a temporary "fix" until the epi.  if it doesn't work (which i don't even want to put that statement "in the univese").. this is not a long term option (the meds.)  period.  if it takes surgery (which all research now, for my condition, says to avoid IF YOU CAN..) but if it takes that, it does.

long term pill use is not an option for me anymore.  i saw what it did to me.. i stopped living...

anyway, that's my story... :-/

-mj