cannot seem to stop taking oxys

[chubbers]

ok, so i have been trying to taper from oxycontin for the last 3 months. i was taking 120-220 mg a day and now im taking 80 but i cannot seem to cut down from the 80. everytime i do i feel so horrible i want to die. i really want to be off these drugs but i cant seem to make myself get to the next step. i get so anxious i can barely breathe and i am up all night. i don tknow what to do anymore. i have a wonderful guy who knows of my problems and said he will stick by me no matter what but i cant be wit him until im through with this. please help i want to be normal again i never relied on a drug before, i dont need them to be happy but now i need them to get up in themorning, they are the first thing i think about in the morning, i cant take it anymore i cry myself to sleep every nite, i want to tell my parents but they are so judgemental and i dont think they would be understanding. please someone help me

[Oxykicker]

Dear dear chubbers, I am crying for you, it's hell and inferno, but PLEASE let me tell you, the pain is BAD, but I have somehow just stopped the lot and gone cold turkey from 80mg a day, oh boy yes it's bad, but guess what, today I have seen some great things again for the first time after 5 days in HELL, do you know what, today I have been active all the time. and done things I have not done for 18 months, noticed the small things again in sharp focus, it's worth the agony, for once you have been where we are everything is great, even the smallest thing seems fantastic, it's a new and exciting start, PLEASE PLEASE kick that ******* devil pill into touch PLEASE, I went for a walk across the fields tonight in the dark, and once out of earshot started shouting at the top of my voice, I'VE BEAT YOU YOU *******, AND LIFE FEELS GREAT AGAIN. YESSSSSSSSSSSSS.
Dear chubbers, from what I have gone through can I say that, hot baths, withsome soothing Radox powders helped me, and the more the better, I also kept fresh cloths handy, went for long walks as soon as I was able, do anything my precious to keep your mind off the aches and pains, lots of fruit juice, no tea, coffee or alcohol, and please try to eat, even if you sick it up, please eat, today is day 5 of my CT and I am still getting the Crazy arms/legs but not half as bad, and the flu symtoms seem to have almost gone, just sometimes get a wave of sickness.

I hope this helps, and my thoughts are with you, I will update my diary real soon, all the best and PLEASE keep fighting, we are all here cheering you on and will help in any way possible, if you need to get in touch just email db_jp***@****, that's an underscore after the db and before the jp.

Kick it out PLEASE.

David

[BigWill79]

You sound a lot like me.  We are the same age, college degree, good job, someone who cares for you.  Anyway, withdrawals are not fun, but they don't suck as bad as being addicted for another year.  I have recently quit hydro (norco, loritab, etc) and feel much better with each passing day.  I would highly recommend therapy and asking about klonipin or valume for about 10 days when you start withdrawals.  This helps take the edge and helps with sleep, which is very important to feeling better.  Drink lots of water, take vitamins, take lots of hot baths and try to get out and walk for a few minutes during the day.  Take a week off of work, just say you have the flu.  I promise you will feel better after about 5 days.  Feel free to contact me privatley if you need to chat.  

[flmagi]

Your regular doctor may not be certified to perscribe Suboxone. Call him and see. If not go to Suboxone.com and find a doctor near you.
Suboxone is addictive. Some people take it for a very short time, 10-21 days. Just to get past the withdrawels. You get on it and wean off very fast.
Some people stay on it indefinatley. I started Jan.30th and am weaning off it slowly. Hope to be off it in April some time, but if I am not ready, i'll go alittle longer.
To start Sub.,you must be in withdrawels about 24 hours, but thats not to bad.
Within 1 hour of taking the Sub. I could have been working (had the day off though).
Let me know if you have any more questions.

[chubbers]

THANK U SO MUCH FOR YOUR POSTS, THEY WERE ENCOURAGING. I REALLY WANT HELP AND I M THINKING OF GOING THE SUBOXENE ROUTE BUT I HAVE HEARD BAD HTHIGNS ABOUT THAT TOO AND IT IS ADDICTING AND THATS THE LAST THING I WANT. BUT I DONT KNOW THAT MAY BE MY ONLY OPTION AT THIS POINT BC TAPERING AND COLD TURKEY DONT WORK. I DO HAVE HEALTH INSURANCE SO I COULD ASK MY DOCTOR. DOES ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SUBOXENE?

[Amanda6900]

That is great that you have a guy that is supportive. For me its a sense of not being totally alone. I dont know what I would do without my husband, even though I'm the only one struggling with this addiction, its nice to be able to talk to someone and not have them judge me. I believe god brought us together for a reason. Keep talking with him, my husband I have found is the one person I can truly be honest with. If you can honestly open up to your boyfriend maybe the two of you can come up with a plan together, he can be your strength. I have been tapering only for a couple of weeks, I'm just trying to buy time till a doc appt I have on the 3rd. Good luck

[lnicole]

the ppl on this site are amazing. cathy seems to know alot. what i know about oxy is you need all the help you can get. do you have medical insurance? if so then you can get help from dr.s or clinics. from what ive heard. tappering IS the best way to get off oxys and it seems youve gone down a bit so it may not be as bad as it seems. i know im deathly afraid of the w/d's. if you can tell your parents you should. but at least you have your b/f. this is scary and im in the same boat as well as hundreds of others on this site. i hope you get strong enough to make the next step. youre already on here. hey, im taking the next step 2morrow so im here. good luck. better now then later.

[flmagi]

Have you given any concideration to the Suboxone route? Do you have health insurance or could you afford it? Thats kinda a stupid question, if your paying for pills, you should be able to afford the Suboxone. Give it some thought. Any questions you have, I'll do my best to answer, although I am by no means a Suboxone expert. I've only been on it since Jan.30th.
If the Sub. is out of the question, then it sounds to me like you might be better off going cold turkey. The tappering is sounding like a slow torture to you.
Keep posting and don't give up.

[toxictome]

Maybe you should come clean w/your parents....They may not understand...but i'm sure they would want to help you.
I have no experience w/it, but Suboxone may be an option for you also.
Someone should be along who knows more about it.....

but i think you need to try something else....becuz tapering isn't working and ct doesn't sound like an option.

The sooner you quit...the sooner your life WILL get back to normal.
Hang in there.....we're here for you....
Keep posting!!!

[gizzy32]

quitting may take everything you have, and feel like hell for awhile, but that is part of the process. i don't think no one on this forum could say getting clean was easy, but there comes a time when you have to dig deeper and be stronger than you thought possible. im sorry your having a tough time with this, but i have no doubt in my mind if you want it bad enough, you can get clean. i needed my drug also just to get up in the morning and to keep me going, it made me sick, but i thought it was the only way to get through the day. you have to be strong right now and it sounds like you can't do it alone, nor could we. have you ever considered going to an N/A meeting? i know it is hard walking in, but it is a step in the right direction. when you get cravings jump on here and vent and we will support you and give you strenth when you need it, but the bottom line is this is in your hands now and it's time you do this. i wish you the best of luck.

[cathy5841]

withdrawls are not easy.  i know it is hard but you have to force yourself to do this and stick with it.  you have cut down alot and you can keep going.  its hard but doable.  all the things you mentioned are w/d symptoms that everyone of us have faced and lots of us have conquered.  you can be free.  i could not taper..i just quit c/t and was sick and wanted to die and didnt sleep for about  a week, then i gradually began to overcome the fog and i have 70+ days sober.  i feel wonderful.  but had to suffer to get here.  you can do this.
cathy