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cincee

it has aslways seemed to me whenever i used everything in my life would go wrong, when i used  i would get flat tires every week.
when i used i got arrested at least 50 times' for things that i was not even part of doing.
i think they call it murphy's law , well it always had a strangle hold on my life ,whenever i  did drugs.
I somtimes thought it was my father praying for me, so i
would say to him stop praying for me , i crashed my car,
lost my job and broke my ankle  that week.

there is the other side of this story, once i started on the
road of staying clean the oppisite happened, everythin that could go right did, instead of spending my money on drugs,
and buying 5 dollar tires at the junk yard  i, bought sears steel belted raidels and never got a flat agian.
i never got arrested agian, inever lost my job agian,
i got custdy of my kids, ect, ece,
when i got clean and went to meetings it was like i was invisible
to the cops, and invisible to bad things coming my way.

i am writing this because  cincee posted that the only na meeting she could find was i the bad lands,in her town
and she would not go there unarmed, well my experence
has always been ,whenever we make that effort or surrender to
go to meetings , we seem to be invisible to trouble.
i grew up in the bad lands in philly so i understand her concern.
when ever i went back to the badlands to start meetings
or attend them i was a little leary but nothing ever happened.
CINCEE -call the na hotlone and ask , there are a lot of meetings not listed , talk to smeone sbout ,in your area.
111 Responses
Avatar universal
But I HAVE heard gossip about meetings before.  And in-patient detox, too, where supposedly trust is everything.  It's been from someone who's relapsed.

And I'm not even ready to be recognized by other addicts.
Avatar universal
how the heck do you post a question on this site
Avatar universal
Hey, where are ya this morning to tell me what day I'm on??
There's no football today is there;)
Avatar universal
Good morning glam queen lol It must be day 9 for you cause it's 10 for me.No football today,just appts. with dentist and shrink lol.Did you have a good weekend? When is your sis coming?

pixi
Avatar universal
sorry for some of the bad grammer and mis spelling
i have to do a better jodb at that,
i want to talk about he steps, since you mentioned them.
step one, acceptance, accept the truth ,we are addicts
we use to live and live to use, even when we put down the drugs we still have our addictive personalities, we subsatute the drugs for , money, sex, shopping, gambling. relationships. ect
the 1st step is a confrontation with the truth.
we are powerless over our reactions to people,places and things.

our life is unmanagable, this has to do wih our life and the life it is referring to is the life inside us, not outside.
we can't manage what go's on inside us , our feelings , our reactions, our thoughts. manage  means controll , we don't do well trying to controll our  thoughts, feelings and reactions.

we learn to accept them in the 1st step , practicing
acceptance  bare's the fruiy of hope , the oppisite is denial.
denial we all have experence with it., my father used to say to me what is wrong with you, and i would argue with him and scream and shout , theres nothing wrong with me.
then later in the middle of the night i would be laying awake in my bed and i would say to myself ,WHATS WRONG WITH ME..
when we accept life the way it is and accept the truth about ourselves, we lay the ground work for a strong begining
twards the road to recovery.
the serenty prayer used to be called the acceptance prayer.
as addicts we are not ogood with acceptace, we want to change our reality, so we use drugs to change it, we are running from reality when we use , when we should be acceptaning it and
making decisions to make it bettter based on principles like
honesty , openmindedness, willinness, faith, commitment.

anthony demello  wrote a book called awareness, and it is good , it is  all about acceptance..

Avatar universal
OMG, it's tomorrow.  I had kinda put it outta my mind, but I am going to have to get busy today.  (putting away the good silver,etc.)  At least I don't have any drugs to hide;-)

Oh, my neck hurts just thinking about it!!!
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