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Avatar universal

cincee

it has aslways seemed to me whenever i used everything in my life would go wrong, when i used  i would get flat tires every week.
when i used i got arrested at least 50 times' for things that i was not even part of doing.
i think they call it murphy's law , well it always had a strangle hold on my life ,whenever i  did drugs.
I somtimes thought it was my father praying for me, so i
would say to him stop praying for me , i crashed my car,
lost my job and broke my ankle  that week.

there is the other side of this story, once i started on the
road of staying clean the oppisite happened, everythin that could go right did, instead of spending my money on drugs,
and buying 5 dollar tires at the junk yard  i, bought sears steel belted raidels and never got a flat agian.
i never got arrested agian, inever lost my job agian,
i got custdy of my kids, ect, ece,
when i got clean and went to meetings it was like i was invisible
to the cops, and invisible to bad things coming my way.

i am writing this because  cincee posted that the only na meeting she could find was i the bad lands,in her town
and she would not go there unarmed, well my experence
has always been ,whenever we make that effort or surrender to
go to meetings , we seem to be invisible to trouble.
i grew up in the bad lands in philly so i understand her concern.
when ever i went back to the badlands to start meetings
or attend them i was a little leary but nothing ever happened.
CINCEE -call the na hotlone and ask , there are a lot of meetings not listed , talk to smeone sbout ,in your area.
111 Responses
Avatar universal
I loved your post about NA.  I have been seeing a shrink once or twice a week since coming clean (over a month ago).  You seem so at peace.  I must admit that it is great to be able to say 30+ days, but I seem to be having a problem with being pissed off at the world.  I am normally a happy person, never had problems with depression, but I am running on a hair trigger these days.  Is this common??  I walked around after the w/d's finally stopped with a big stupid grin on my face all the time, then about the fourth week -- BAM.  Now If someone pushes my buttons even a little watch out.

I am going to start the NA meetings..found one close to me with an acceptable time...I will see how this goes...

Rob
Avatar universal
a menu of clonidine, doxepin, bonnatal, flexeril

I don't know about bonnatal, but I know about the other three.  Clonidine is for your blood pressure, don't save it up, if you o/d, you'll be in big trouble.  Doxepin is an older triclyclic antidepressent - great for sleep and helps with pain.  No need to save it up, a little goes a long way.  Flexeril, if you don't need it, OK to save it up but be careful.  For me this was the best med to overcome the restlees legs and be able to rest.

Both flexeril and doxepin can make you sleepy in the morning.

I really, really want to hear how this goes!!!
Avatar universal
Go easy on yourself. You're in mid-detox from some rock'n good drugs, if I say so myself. Hollywood sounds promising ...

It's fine to contemplate while in detox, but I wouldn't jump to conclusions based on how you feel right now. Give yourself a contract extension. And, yeah, Methadone is supposed to be a sex drive killer. Of course, the Dilaudid is, too, but I suspect you had other sourcers of inspiration when you and your girlfriend were together.

Congrats on sticking to the 21 day program. That says something about you.

Thomas
Avatar universal
CinCee,
By "save it up" I mean that I'll simply, if I'm able, not take the pills that are given to me on a daily basis. Each day I'm offered the same packet, whether I use them or not. Thanks so much for the info on each pills' benefits. That is more information that was provided me at the clinic, which I will say was pleasant enough, next to and associate with a university hospital. $200 was the price tag. And there are option therapy meetings after the detox program at $40 per. I do not intend to join the therapy meetings, at least not there; if I can, I may try to shoot for some noon aa meetings in the area if they're around.
Avatar universal
It is free. they only allow 2-3 NEW questions/thread starters a day. post a question anywhere on the site.

DO NOT EVER PAY. THIS DOES NOTHING FOR YOU.

Post your question like you just did. people read it, then post if they can help.
Chezz
Avatar universal
Hang in there!  Man, I felt the same way about my husband after the first few weeks of being clean.  It was like,"What's up w/ this??Am I REALLY married to you?? Now I can SEE why I did drugs all the time..." But, Thomas is right--we're screwed-up emotionally and I doubt if you will feel this way later on.  It's such a challenge, at first, to feel ANYTHING after being in a fog for so  long, that all feelings seem to be intensified and just a little out of whack. (How's that for a medical term??)  Try not to react to these negative feelings;just go w/ the flow for awhile.  I wish you the best..Peaz

P.S.  In a post above I referred to you as a "she"---I'm very sorry.  One has a 50-50 chance of getting it right.....
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