I bit the bullet

[Sober07]

I have had an on and off again love with narcotics since my first surgery in 2009. As the surgeries grew larger so did the prescriptions. At my highest I was choking down 10-15 750mg Vicodin a day. About 2 weeks ago I had a rude awakening when my doctor said "I don't feel comfortable filling your script again" it was like someone had slapped me. Of course I didn't blame her (I can say that now, but then I was coming unglued)  I was no longer taking the pills for pain management I was taking them to get high.

I contemplated finding a new doctor and lying or stealing them from a few people I knew had them.

But then it hit me..... What have I done to myself? I'm reduced to stealing and lying to get pills that I don't need?

So... I QUIT!!!! I'm on day 5 clean, I've kind of come to a place of peace knowing the sickness of WD is mostly over and the constant worrying about those god forsaken pills. I joined the gym and tossed the soda. I mean what the hell, I kicked one demons *** I may as well go all out!

This forum has helped me immensely knowing that the WD I was living was not my own hell but shared by so many. Thank you.

[killerzoey]

Wow way to go! Day 5...I can imagine you've had an unpleasant time, but from what I understand you're through the worst of the WDs. I hope you'll continue to share your experiences. Take care :)

[Missshawn]

Congrats.. Your right,you should be feeling better every day now.. Keep up the good work

[Sober07]

I do have a plan I'm a very organized pre-planner lol

I started the gym and informed my trainer I am a recovering prescription drug abuser, I told my 2 best friends and I'm seeing a new physician in 2 weeks and I'm going to tell her that I had a problem quitting the pills so by all means necessary never ever prescribe me narcotics!  I never bought them from a dealer so that's not a problem. I just know I never ever want to feel this way again. My mother has endless supplies but I also told her and she flushed hers.

I'm feeling better everyday im changing my diet and I don't want to go back. Thank you for all the well wishes.

[theirmommie72]

very good job.  something to be very proud of. you owned it and now getting clean.  congrats.

[ChemicalRomance77]

Five days is awesome!  I tapered today is my last day of .5mg OC.  I too had a serious Chemical Romance after legitimate procedures and 3 major surgeries mine went on a little longer but I had never taken more than 2 - 6 a day and the last year was 2 Vic and 1 10 mg OC and a few percocets here or there never a big fan of a perc. Personally Vic was my favorite.I CT'd the Vic's in November and a few weeks ago tapered the one 10 mg OC .. Should have CT'd but I couldn't display that much of a difference in my attitude at work.. As my Chemical Romance has been a great part of my last 6 years at work and I relied on the energy the Vic's gave me... I had planned to stop last October 2011  after back surgery as it truly relieved my nerve pain and my MD told me that I would never get rid of the back ache so I should take Tylenol or alleve once a day.   As that was not the answer I wanted to hear I continued to make up "injuries" for 20 Vics here or there and then I would call my Primary Care and tell her I hit my knee while vacuuming, twisted my neck etc....  But I present as the consummate professional the whole package 2nd from the top level in my organization at various times responsible for 200 employees and two to three million dollar budgets so my Primary Care wouldn't think twice and just call it in..  The OC - My RA MD is the Dr that prescribed the 10mg OC for the past 14 months because I told him I hurt toooo much to sleep of course I NEVER took OC at bedtime in fact I took it at wake up time and then when I got into my office I took my Vic it was like my morning coffee instead it was a water and my pill  never had a cup of coffee at 41!.  My prescription was up on the 5th of Jan and I never called for the refill an I do not plan too .. I have enough to taper and have not taken one more gram then my taper plan..  Thanks for sharing as I resonate with you regarding the love affair.. No one has ever suspected me which makes this affair seem dirty in a sense for me .. I plan to end it and move on and forward and never tell anyone..a

[kyle505]

I want to congratulate you AND offer a little insight (based on many years of addiction).  Five days is monumental- the worst of the physical detox is almost over. Now comes the hard part....
You stopped because your doc wouldn't refill your script. Granted, you could have done a number of things after that to get more pills, but you didn't and that is a plus. Now here's my concern. I need to ask what you've done to put a plan for ongoing recovery in place? You see, you never will kick this demon's ***.  The old saying "you dance with the devil and the devil changes you, you don't change the devil" applies here. You are an addict, or at least an abuser. If you do nothing from this point on you will relapse.
Three things I suggest - cut all sources, tell your secret and get after care. If you don't work on recovery the mental side of addiction will eventually catch you and eat you alive.

[hayls0324]

For sharing! Just wait, it gets better, you will have some rough days but it's absolutely worth it! You will start to feel like you old self again. Your in control!

[hayls0324]

That's an amazing story! Thank you f

[toothfairie]

congrats on day 5!!   it's an awesome feeling not to have to pill seek!  counting etc.....keep up the good work!  

[Sober07]

Ty I hope there are many more to follow, WD sucked something horrible!!

[BarbRTR]

Wow. Congrats on day 5!