coming off box...can't believe the horror stories i've heard.

[gh1o8s7t]

Gonna do my best to make this 7+ year story short.  Basically was BAD OFF on roxy's and oxy's...found the "miracle drug" a.k.a.- Satan in pill form.  Was on the box's and subutex for the past couple years.  Got up to 5-6 8mg pills or strips a day.  Unfortunately mainly took the nasal highway for the most part.  But I cut down to half a pill a day, then down to a quarter for a few months, then down to an eighth for a couple handful of weeks.  Now i'm on day 7 of no box and it's pretty bad.  I truly can handle the mental aspect of it on my own...but it's the physical beat down my body is taking along with the lower back problems that got me on drugs in the first place.  I found some stuff online called Withdrawal Ease and I've been taking it to help with the symptoms.  Curious if that stuff is BS or for real.  Maybe even a placebo type effect...but it seems to be going MUCH better than the last time I got off box.  After a couple weeks the intensity of the withdrawals seemed to ease up.  I'm hoping for the same.  Fortunately I did more than just delete numbers...I moved 14 hours away from the temptation to break down.  So now I must do what I originally set out to do...I have no other option.  Pretty sure they don't even know box exists around here in Florida.  And if it does exist...I don't want to know about it.  My girl ran out yesterday of her box...I decided to stop a week in advance.  I got a jump start on misery.  Hopefully I will bounce back a little quicker and then take care of her.  But sounds like we will just both be miserable for a while.  Just looking for some positive reinforcement and hopefully I will be back to "normal" sooner rather than later.  Any suggestions on how to beat this physical nightmare quicker?  Thanks guys for the support...sometimes just hearing a success story can give a person hope for a normal life.  Don't want to be lied to, but hearing people say they still feel like a steaming hot pile after 3+ months is really discouraging.  I really need to get a job ASAP...when will it go away enough to at least hold a steady position somewhere.  Was on my way to a bachelor's degree in organic chemistry until pills came in to the scene.  Made it to an Associate's Degree but now have to pay back 20k in student loans before I can go back.  Thanks doc for just sending me home with a large bottle of extremely strong medication with no advice or education on how to avoid becoming a freaking loser.  I won't go back to pills ever again...just wanna know when this will go away...at least enough to be a productive member of society.  Good luck to all going through what I'm going through.  Be strong and believe God DOES NOT put anything on someone they can't handle.  So for all of us going through unbelievably tough times...just know we are the strongest people out there.  All these people with endless money and their "more money more problems" lives...these are the weakest people on Earth. Hang in there all and much love to everyone suffering out there.  As long as our hearts are beating...there is hope for a better life.

[mitchthematt]

The problem with Subs doctors give it too too long.  Anything over 2 to 3 months is to long. Subs are suppose to be used to help get off your drug of choice, period. Just like Methadone these doctors dont care. Believe me when I get over this withfrawl period or recover period should I say. I am going to write many many doctors on this subject and do whatever I can to try to prevent this from going on. Both drugs are very good to help DETOX off of other opiates for for very short time period. 10 to 20 days. Then only if needed a short maintinece for 2 to 3 months may be required. And at a very low mg on Methadone nothing over 40mg and on subs nothing over 4mg. The only sure way to keep people off of opiates is though supoort systems. Just throwing another drug at the problem is not fixing it. I know because I have been down this road for 15 years. And now I can say I am 17 days clean. And the only reason I dont crave is support for the last 7 mouths straight. Seeing a counsler, going to meeting, getting online. We turn to these things cause of withdrawl but to be honest that is a very short process and the mental part is waht always takes us back. But if you are at a quater of a strip a day and it is 8mg strip you need to taper more cause anything over a year is going to be very hard at 2mg. Taper till you have crumbs. Then once you have crumbs taper to every other day. Then jump off. But knowing you want off is a very very good thing and since you have been on subs only for 2 years plus then you should at least be not chasing the high anymore. And if you do it slow enough the withdrawl will not be intense but it will be long.

[gh1o8s7t]

burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppppp!!!!!!!!  haha  just joking of course.  Thanks for the kind words.  Like I said previously...quitting box isn't an option...so I must succeed.  It's Roxy world down here and I KNOW I won't go back to that.  Worst times of my life.  Beat box and I beat it all...can't wait.  Freedom Day will soon be here.  Can't wait to start feeling better...this is tough...no doubt about it.

[spider6]

hahahahaha, no problem man!

It totaly gave me my much needed chuckle this morning!

I want to relate to you on the "family" members or friends not really
getting it.  I have been married to a guy for 31 years that doesn't get
it.....well he got it for a little while back in 1991! for real!

I'm not trying to collect on a pity party but here's one for ya....on my 21 days clean I was very happy and excited and so my husband and I were having our morning smoke and coffee....I said to him.....well Yay, it's my 3 week clean day!!.....I looked at him for approval and he belched!

Ya....I'm thick skinned ....I have to be.  I'm not suggesting that your family
would ever be so horrible, what I am saying is it's quite often that the ones closest to us just don't get it.

You're gonna make....I can tell just by your tone.
focus:  Freedom Day!
pm me if you ever feel like you need to talk :o} Spider

[gh1o8s7t]

Sorry...called you bro...shoulda said sis I suppose.  haha  

[gh1o8s7t]

Thanks man.  It's nice to hear from people out there that know what I'm going through.  I mostly grew up with my dad and his side of the family.  They walk a straight line and have no understanding of addiction.  To them it's "Just quit!".  Wow...nice advice...like that never popped into my head.  So I decided, after 32 years, to go to my mom in Florida.  She understands addiction and is very supportive.  I don't want to be a sponge and soak up all of her money and wear out my welcome, but this is a long battle.  She understands addiction...but I don't think she comprehends how you can withdrawal for this long of a time.  She will probably eventually think I'm just being lazy...and I don't want that.  But I randomly ran across this website and have been on this site today longer than I've been on the internet for the past 3-4 years combined...minus my fantasy football teams I suppose.  haha  But thanks bro...I hope it all works out for you as well.  Fortunately for me, I soaked in all the information on as many drugs out there that I could.  I avoided the benzo addiction (by the skin of my teeth probably) but I just couldn't afford another addiction thankfully.  All my finances went to staying on opiates...then box...and then staying alive.  Hopefully I can soon update you on a larger number of days with NO drugs.  I just keep telling myself...whether it lasts a week, month, or year...it will end.  So I'm just hoping I can make it by until that day comes...Freedom Day I suppose.  It will definitely be a personal holiday in the future.  I'll celebrate it every year like it's my last birthday.

[spider6]

Hi there and welcome!  And sooo awesome that you have decided to take
this journey!  This is a fantastic place to be while going through this hell.

I haven't had the same experience as you have but I do have an opiate addiction that I've been trying to slay for the last 27yrs. (codeine)
I'm 29 days clean as of today and I owe it all to this site and these angels
that all come together here to heal.

You are clearly of above average intelligence and thankfully it hasn't taken you as long as myself to get "smart" and get off this ride that only goes one way FAST.

I am experiencing some pain today myself but don't worry about day (29),
my pain is far far less than yours.  Point is I've heard countless times that after we stop medicating the pain we started out with, it comes back with a vengeance; but only for awhile and then most all have said that the original pain was much more tolerable without the drugs than they ever thought it
could be!

If placebos work, more power to them.  I always wished my doctor had
or at least tried a placebo with me before introducing me to benzo's (another 10plus yrs. waste of life and nightmare to beat).

That is serious intention when you move 14 hours away.  Awesome! you are a man committed to win!  I had the same idea when I moved here to
our farm out in the middle of nowhere (I don't have a driver's license). It's
working now because I've come clean to all my "rides" but  ya you have
to cut off ALL sources.

Listen I think it all depends on the individual when it comes to how long.
I'm not going to tell you that in three months you will feel awesome but
I WILL tell you that in three months you'll feel a s**t load more awesome
than you do now!  

Hold tight to how you are feeling now.....that's how I'm getting this far without relapse; along with MedHelp.

I hope to watch you and your gf get through this, you certainly sound like
you're an *ss kicker, so let's see some **** kickin!

Peace and hope
Spider