crazy temptation.....so easy to use

[Blackwolfsgirl]

So, I am going on 18 days clean from my DOC Vicodin. I have always struggled with stayong clean because I am constantly surronded with Oxy and Vics. I am a caregiver to my mom who has oxys but barely takes them even though she has stage 4 lung cancet, and my father who takes vics

[Blackwolfsgirl]

Thank you everyone. I am doing exactly that bkitty, putting all my efforts into staying clean that I did to get my next fix. I am very determined to stick with staying clean. I am still having to remind myself to only focus on today. For so long, I worried about tomorrow and planned my life in the future on whether I was going to have meds or not.

[Bkitty]

That sounds like an awsome plan! Put as much effort as you have into being an addict as you do being sober. Staying sober involves planning,,making healthy choices and decisions. Protecting yourself. Sober living is a whole lifestyle change. Its uncomfortable at first but I promise you it will take no effort once you make the changes and stick to them. It becomes the norm. I wish you all the best and congrats on making it to Day 18! It will keep getting easier and better I promise. Slow and steady wins the race. ((hugs))~Bkitty

[kyle505]

Congratulations...You have come to a realization that many avoid, or refuse to acknowledge. The two things that will most certainly derail us are an easy source and not understanding the mental aspect of recovery.
You have put up some good roadblocks re the source, and it sounds like you are fighting the good fight against the little voice in your head that tempts you.
I have to say, I don't know if I could have stayed clean if surrounded by meds.
Your's is a great post. I hope it is read by many on this forum. Thanks.

[dominosarah]

You are in a tough situation thats for sure.  Make sure you are staying close to those that support you.  

[Blackwolfsgirl]

Thank you Sonrissa and Sarah. I am very determined this time. Yesterday, I was having really bad anxiety just being in the same room with vicodin. This is the first time I have been strong enough to say no to the temptation.

[dominosarah]

You have done a good job on taking care of this issue,  That should help with the mental games you have been going thru.  

[Sonrissa]

Sounds like you have an excellent plan and have covered all the bases! You really do want this and nothing is gonna stop you! Keep moving forward! You are an Inspiration! Best Wishes!!

[Blackwolfsgirl]

Sorry accidently hot the wrong button. I also take care of my dad who is addicted to valium, soma, and vicodin. My brain has been trying to play tricks on me because my dad just got his refill of.vicodin. I have been avoiding going over there because I was scared. So, my very good friend Erica said that she would go with me and handle my dads meds. So, I came up with a plan to have my friend sort out my dads meds weekly and put the remainder in a safe in the living room. This way I will never be alone with them or have access to them. I always see people ask what can someone do different when he/she relapses. I thouht a lot about this question and decided I needed to not have easy access to vicodin. I have also been telling everyone I know; therefore, I am heald accountable. I, also, told the pharm to red flag my account, and to also check with the doctor to see of meds.were necessary. This would be in instances where taking pain meds are needed such as of I break my leg or have surgery, and only then to give them to a family member and to NEVER give them to me. I can now mark off another day sober and be very proud of myself for having temptation, but not giving in. I have worked too hard and I didnt go.through hell to take one stupid pill. Thank you all for you help and support.

[Sonrissa]

Hey! 18 days is great and wow I could not imagine having to be surrounded every day with the meds! You must have to really want this to be able to stay strong! Plus, being a caregiver is extremely hard! I know, I was the caregiver for my friends mother for 3 years and it was the hardest job I ever did! You are a Saint! :)  Stay strong and just get through, as they say, 1 day at a time! Congrats on the 18 days!!